A recent Newsday story asked the question, "When marriage goes to the dogs, who gets them?"

I'd like to pose the question: "How do you keep your marriage from going to the dogs because of the dog?"

I know far too many spouses who find themselves ousted from marital harmony by the pooch. The grumblings of the contemporary dog owner sound like descriptions of a disgruntled ex: "The dog growls at my husband whenever he hugs me." "Our dog lunges and snarls at me if I try to snuggle with my husband on the sofa." Or, just last weekend at an event in Northern California, "The dog won't let my wife sleep on our bed."

That last one takes the prize, but it's a two-way tie: At that same event, another couple approached me with the identical problem. I suggested the wives keep each other company at night while their hubbies curl up in bed with the family fur balls.

The problems here are two-fold:

1. In these families, the pooch wears the pants. No boundaries, no rules, no training.

2. Their dogs are aggressive.

Here are a few tips to keep the pooch in his place — and your marriage off the rocks:

— The dog should not have the run of the house for the first two years. Young pups should be supervised at all times: confined to one visible part of the house when you're home with them, and in their comfortable crates when you're not. This is a part of the housebreaking process, but it's also part of setting boundaries and establishing yourself as the king and queen of your domain.

— Do not allow the dog to sleep in the bed with you. Dogs do not belong on Cal-King pillow-top mattresses. I know this tip will offend the sensibilities of dog owners across the nation, but abiding by it will also solve a great many of their problems.

— Do not allow the dog on any furniture at all. He won't understand that the bed and the leather recliner are off limits, but the ottoman is fine. The pooch can be a respected member of your family — from the floor.

— Obedience-train your dog. Again, this will help you establish yourself as the pack leader, and it will help your dog to relax into his place as a member of your pack, just not the dominant one.

Note to aggressive-dog owners: You can make your dog less threatening and easier to live with through training. But you cannot solve any aggression-related behavior problems if your dog is not trained.

In other words, if dog training isn't on the agenda for those two married couples, then sleeping in the same bed shouldn't be, either.

Of course, you can't blame the dog for all marital bumps. If your dog is great, but your marriage is not, please refer to the May 15 Newsday story for tips on how to handle that one.

Woof!

Dog trainer Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series "WOOF! It's a Dog's Life!" Read all of Uncle Matty's columns at the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com, and visit him at www.unclematty.com. Send your questions to dearuncle.gazette@unclematty.com or by mail to Uncle Matty at P.O. Box 3300, Diamond Springs, CA 95619.

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