"We got Lucy, a female yellow Lab, at 8 weeks old. The vet told us then that she was aggressive and we would need to have her trained. We could not believe it. We tried basic puppy training, but did not want her to be so disciplined that she would cower or be afraid of us. Basically, we did not listen — she seemed so sweet.

"Now, she growls all the time. We used to laugh at it and think she was just grumpy, but it has gotten to the point that she curls her lips at my two cats and growls at us if we ask her to get off the bed or accidentally bump her from under the covers.

"She raises her lips to the grandkids from time to time and has snapped at my granddaughter. She has bitten another dog, and two days ago she bit my cat. I always cross the street when walking her if another dog is coming our way — she can be aggressive with them — and I never let people pet her when we are out and about.

"I have been reading about aggressive dogs on your website. I tried the "tests," and she failed. She does not have any physical problems. She has been "grumpy" since we've owned her. She is mostly my husband's dog, and she loves him. He is in total denial that we have a problem — he thinks she is only reacting to protect herself.

"I am now very concerned. Can we do anything to change this behavior aside from keeping her muzzled all the time, which I do not really want to do and my husband will not even consider? He loves this dog, does not make her respect boundaries and has no interest in training her. She has the run of our house and seems to be getting more aggressive as she gets older. I am now trying to keep the two cats and the dog separated, but my husband thinks I am overreacting.

"I am writing for two reasons: I want to get Lucy the training she needs so that she does not hurt anyone or anything, and I need to get my husband to see that we have a problem."

Wrong order. First she has to get her husband to acknowledge that they have a problem. Only then can training be effective.

When I called to tell her that, the first thing she said was, "I know it looks bad, but it's not."

What could be worse? Canine serial killer?

She wanted my help, but this woman has a marital problem, not a dog problem. She has a husband who doesn't respect her legitimate fears and favors the dog's well-being over that of his wife and grandchildren. At this point, she needs Dr. Phil, not Uncle Matty.

Most people who have aggressive dogs don't want to admit it because they 1) think it makes them a failure and 2) think it means a death sentence for the dog. Neither is true. You aren't a failure for having an aggressive dog. You're a failure if you do nothing about it. And euthanasia is rarely necessary.

If wife and hubby were to come together, their household could most likely be salvaged. Lucy would be banished from their bed and signed up for professional training. Boundaries would be set and enforced. A semblance of peace would descend upon them — and their cats. Barring that, Lucy absolutely must be kept away from all children, animals and anyone who isn't this man and his wife.

Denial, it's at least as dangerous as that river in Egypt.

Woof!

Dog trainer Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series "WOOF! It's a Dog's Life!" Read all of Uncle Matty's columns at the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com, and visit him at www.unclematty.com. Send your questions to dearuncle.gazette@unclematty.com or by mail to Uncle Matty at P.O. Box 3300, Diamond Springs, CA 95619.

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