Dear Margo: I am getting married in less than a year to a wonderful person with whom I see myself having a long and contented future. However, the problem is not with my fiancee, but with my parents. They've been divorced almost 10 years, and ever since my father remarried, his new wife, "Ann," has been constantly harassing and berating my mother via blog.

Ann is 36, hardly the right age for someone to be doing that kind of stuff. She brings up private things about my mother's past and uses my mom's old co-workers as sources of information, even offering money in exchange for what she wants to know. She also uses my little sister, "Colleen," and has prevented my mom and Colleen from having any relationship at all. (My father has sole custody.)

I recently told my father that I want this e-stalking to end or both of them can consider themselves "uninvited." Since that ultimatum, however, things only seem to be intensifying. I want my father to be there for my wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee and me not enjoying our special day due to bickering or maybe even a physical altercation. I am not looking for Ann and my father versus my mom's family and my fiancee's family. I want to stand my ground, but I don't want to have to exclude him from what should be the privilege of watching his oldest and only son walk down the aisle. — More Mature Than a 36-Year-Old

Dear More: Your stepmother sounds like a beaut. One wonders why she is so obsessed with your mother, seeing as how it is she who is married to your father. Because you say you warned your father about the cyber-stalking but things have only heated up, you may have no choice but to ask your father and his bride to take a pass.

The woman sounds so unhinged that you could very well have the battle of the wives if she were allowed to come. And because your father seems to have no interest in modifying her behavior, he should stay home with her. This is quite sad, but you must stand up for your mother, who does seem to be the victim in someone else's revenge drama. — Margo, logically

Life is Choices

Dear Margo: I have a wonderful relationship with my wife of 12 years, and we have two children. My brother left his family back home and he is alone here, working, so at least once a month he stays at our house for the weekend. This sometimes spoils our weekend. My wife is not happy with this arrangement. She was so frustrated that she blew up when my brother showed up on my birthday. She canceled all our plans, didn't acknowledge my birthday and for weeks has been ignoring me. She says she is ready for a divorce. I love her, but I don't know what to do anymore. I am caught in between. Help! — Struggling

Dear Strug: I think your answer can be found in an old farmer's saying: Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. Your brother's visits aren't working for your life; certainly they're not working for your wife. I suggest you have a heart-to-heart with him and ask for his help in getting things back on track for you. Try to meet him for lunch, perhaps, or all of you have dinner out once in a while. Visiting a brother one weekend a month shouldn't feel overwhelming, but, for whatever reason, it does for your wife. I would put your home life and marriage before your brother having a break from wherever it is he is staying. — Margo, remedially

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

COPYRIGHT 2008 MARGO HOWARD

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