Dear Margo: I have been with my fiance for almost a year and am deeply in love with him. We're planning a future together and talk about it often; however, I have a slight problem with his "religious beliefs." He was raised a Christian, yet we have sex on a regular basis. I plan to move in with my sister and her fiance to a two-bedroom apartment next month, and I asked my boyfriend to move in, as well. He declined, his reason being, "My religion does not believe in living in sin." He is OK with our sleeping together, though. I also believe that his parents would give him grief over our living together.

My problem is this: I was at first angry with his "buffet style" beliefs, but made peace with it and set a few rules for when I do move in with my sister and her fiance: He cannot spend more than one night a week at my apartment, and he cannot come over every single day to use the electricity and eat the food. If he wants to spend more time at my place, I will have him pay rent because it would be just like he is living there. Everyone says I'm being mean and trying to "punish" him for not moving in. Am I being harsh or just asking something reasonable of any ''squatter''? — Mean Landlord?

Dear Mean: It seems clear to this neutral observer that you do harbor anger toward the squatter, I mean your fiance, for his hypocrisy. (You might want to inform him that "living in sin" is not about actual living arrangements.) His real problem, I believe, is that moving in with you would cause trouble with his parents. I would think you might be a little more sympathetic to that. Also clear is that the engagement period, for most couples, is about being together as much as possible ... whereas you are thinking that more than one night a week requires rent money. This smacks of not only punishment, but commerce. What it doesn't sound like is romance. Good luck to one and all. — Margo, reassessingly

No Sex, Please; We're Newly Married

Dear Margo: My husband and I have been married for seven months. He is 34; I am 30. Prior to marriage, we had a healthy sex life for almost two years when we weren't living together. No sooner had the wedding taken place than his sex drive went through the floor. I've done all I can think of to entice him. I get a lot of attention from other men, but the only one I want it from is him. I'm wondering whether his weight (5'11" and 275 pounds) has anything to do with it. He's not willing to see a doctor or go to counseling, and I'm at my wits' end. I'm tired of being pushed away and tired of asking, no, begging for it. Please help. — Frantic

Dear Fran: I would agree that a man grossly overweight might have body image problems that could interfere with sex. I can't imagine, though, that he was a sylph before you married him and then suddenly packed on the pounds around the time he heard "Here Comes the Bride." You say things were good before you married, but that you didn't live together. There's a slim chance (no pun intended) that living apart was better for his libido than living together. It is too bad that he is unwilling to see either a doctor or a counselor. This suggests he can live with things the way they are. I suggest you tell him you can't and try to get him to talk openly about what is going on. Both of you are too young to have a sexless marriage. Worst-case scenario: The marriage will not continue. — Margo, rationally

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

COPYRIGHT 2008 MARGO HOWARD

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