Q: My husband has lost his mental ability to share our partnership decisions. Together, we have always discussed our future, listened to the other's viewpoint and compromised our differences. Now, I must accept total responsibility. We have no immediate family, and I am worried I will make dumb decisions. Are there organizations I can call upon to help me?

A: Yes. There are many individuals and groups willing and able to answer your questions and discuss your options. Church leaders, senior center staff, and nonprofit and governmental organizations are available to help. You might also be able to find pro-bono, or free, legal assistance.

If you have a computer with Internet access, there are many online sources of reliable information, such as www.medicare.com and the National Institute on Aging at www.nia.nih.gov.

Another excellent place to find help, at little or no cost, is the public library. A competent librarian can point you toward more resources and local organizations that can help you find items like checklists to keep track of medications and expenses.

To help your husband's doctor, keep a log of your husband's sleep habits, food consumption, attitude, and medicines he has taken. Writing down your thoughts can help you ask the right questions when visiting the doctor. Medical professionals can help you prepare a to-do list that will help you succeed in this challenging task.

Do not underestimate the value of positive self-talk, focusing on affirmations and sharing your feelings with others who with experiences similar to yours.

Beware, however, of becoming a full-time caretaker. It can drain your emotions and sap your energy, sometimes without your taking notice. Remember to schedule time away from your husband. Search for a friend, neighbor or volunteer who would be willing to help. You would be surprised how much a little time off helps balance your personal life and recharges your battery.

I suggest you get started right away. Sharing your feelings opens up opportunities for others to help carry your burdens. It is actually a gift to others and to yourself when you ask friends and neighbors to help.

Those of us who have been through the caretaking experience understand your needs. Let us know you need help. You can make a positive of this trying situation if you start by believing in yourself!

Q: Our parents are planning their retirement, selling our family home and moving to a retirement community. My siblings and I are amazed at how joyfully and enthusiastically they are choosing their new lifestyle. In fact, Mom says she would like to get rid of almost everything in the house and buy "new." We worry they will regret their decision later. Should we buy into their decision?

A: Absolutely. Share their joy. How lucky you are to have such wonderful, forward-looking parents.

Remember, a good time to retire is before it is too late to have a good time. They have done their job and freedom from those responsibilities is on the horizon.

It's also an excellent time for you and your siblings to offer to take some of the things Mom wants to rid herself of. Work out a plan to divide what you, perhaps, have hoped to have at a future date. I suspect your parents will lovingly do so. Of course, in the event they miss an item, you will be in a position to give it back!

To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.