Dear John: I'm a 40-year-old woman, and my best friend is a male. "Craig" and I have been friends for three years. Lately, I have been having feelings for Craig that are more than just friendship. Is this normal? He is a man I have trusted completely since I was divorced four years ago. He was in a bad relationship with a woman for over two years. Through it, he has endured physical and mental abuse. I have not tried to push him with the issue of my feelings because I do not want to get hurt. Where do I go from here? — What Now? in Ft. Worth, Texas

Dear What Now: It's very normal for a woman to gradually grow in attraction to a man or to suddenly become attracted to a male friend after several years. With most men, however, attraction happens right away, but it can take a while for him to feel that long-term comfort that friends develop. If you feel sparks for him, know that he, too, has probably felt them for you, but he hasn't allowed this emotion to develop. It's OK to communicate how your feelings have changed.

Declaring your love takes courage. Take a deep breath and say it. If he is surprised and doesn't express similar feelings, it doesn't mean that they are not there. After all, it took you three years to discover your feelings. If it turns out that he wants to be "just friends," you'll have to decide if you can accept this. Now that you've opened the door, give him some space to sort out what he may feel.

Dear John: I have this long-distance relationship. We love each other more than life itself, but we have one particular problem: My parents are going crazy because they think that this girl isn't right for me. My mom said that I have to drop her because she believes, "The girl is trouble!" I find that funny because they don't even know her, and yet they dislike her! What should I do? — Puzzled, in Green Bay, Wis.

Dear Puzzled: If you are staying in the relationship to prove a point, you are in it for the wrong reason. You don't give your age in your letter, but if you are over the age of 18 but not yet 30, you are legally an adult who should be allowed to create your own successes and make your own mistakes. We should take this time in our lives to discover who we are and what we like. If your parents' concerns prove to be valid, you will, in time, discover them on your own. If they aren't and your parents want to stay an integral part of your life, they will eventually take the time to know and better understand her.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email at: [email protected]. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.