Dear Ann Landers: I just turned 25, and my mother is trying to marry me off to the son of one of her friends. I have an excellent job and am not worried about being unattached. I don't date much, which is OK for now. My mother told her friend which days I have off so her son could see me. He called my mother, and she set up a lunch date for next week. Of course, I have to go.

My mother has talked about my dating situation with my aunt and my sister, and now I am beginning to feel pressured on all sides. I tried to explain to Mom how demeaning this is, but she became hostile and said she is only trying to help me. Don't get me wrong, Ann. I love my mother, and we get along fine, but this is more than I can take.

My mother is desperate for me to get married, but I'm not interested in wedding bells at this point in my life. Even if the guy turns out to be great, I still resent my mother's maneuvering. What can I do about this galling situation? — Oahu Mess

Dear Oahu: You can tell your mother you do not want her to arrange any more dates and that if she tries, you will refuse to go. Then keep your word.

Dear Ann Landers: Have you noticed the way some people habitually steer every conversation back to themselves? It sounds something like this:

Comeback Kid: "How was your birthday celebration?"

Victim (she has seven seconds but doesn't know it): "Oh, I had a great day. Joe gave me an adorable puppy. He's just 6 weeks old. …"

Comeback Kid: "Fred did the same thing for me two years ago. And that puppy grew into the best and biggest dog we've ever had. We named him Brutus. He's so strong. And smart? You wouldn't believe what I've taught him. Just this morning, I was out looking for the paper …"

And on and on while Victim stands there, her unfinished sentence in shreds, along with her self-esteem. My suggested solution? Suddenly, look at your watch, mutter, "Ohmigosh, I'm late!" and run for the nearest exit.

I'm sure those "Comeback Kids" are unaware of how rude they are. Maybe if you tell them, Ann, they will listen. Everyone who reads this knows someone who fits the description. — Claremont, Calif.

Dear Claremont: I can think of more than a few people who fit the description, but of course, they don't have a clue, and if they were told, they would not believe it. Your letter, however, just might do the trick.

Listen to yourselves, readers. The next time someone tells you about an incident that you can relate to because you have experienced something similar, do you jump in with YOUR story? Or do you listen patiently and save your story for another time? If so, you've shown real class.

Planning a wedding? What's right? What's wrong? "The Ann Landers Guide for Brides" will relieve your anxiety. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

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