Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have been married for 20 years. Our children are grown and out of the house. For the past 32 years, I have worked full time without a break. Part of my salary has gone to support my husband's ex-wife and his children. I never have complained.

Here's my dilemma: My job is extremely demanding and stressful. We also own two businesses, which my husband runs. I need a life. I want to garden, cook, take some classes, you name it. My husband and I agreed that when I reach age 50 (I am now 48), I would work part time so I could keep contributing to our retirement fund. Ann, we have plenty of money put away for retirement. We have no debts, own our home, and have a vacation home, as well.

I told my husband I want to quit NOW. I am stressed out and exhausted. I spend 10-hour days cooped up in an airless office with tinted windows. He wants me to hang in there because it's "only two more years." I can't bear the thought of it. He says I am being selfish. The bottom line is I am burned out and depressed.

Every day, I feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into despair. If I quit my job, it might be the end of my marriage, but if I don't quit, it will be the end of me. Do you see a way out? — Dying Inside in the Midwest

Dear Midwest: Your letter is a cry for help if ever I heard one. That husband of yours sounds excessively demanding. You need some time off so you can calm your nerves and clear your head. See your doctor about an antidepressant or something to relieve your anxiety. If, after you have had a rest, you still want to quit working, do it. If your husband leaves you because of it, you haven't lost much.

Dear Ann Landers: My parents will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary next month. This should be a joyous occasion, but the truth is they have had an unhappy marriage for as long as I can remember.

My three sisters and I are reluctant to plan a big party for them or have any other celebration because we feel it would be hypocritical. However, not doing anything at all would make us feel terribly guilty. Is there some compromise that would be appropriate for the occasion? — Rosie in N.Y.

Dear Rosie: Regardless of the quality of the relationship, the fact remains that your parents have been married for a half-century, and that calls for some sort of celebration. It doesn't have to be a major blowout. A fancy dinner with family members and close friends would be equally appropriate. I hope you and your sisters will honor your parents on their special day. Maybe it will give them an incentive to get along better.

Planning a wedding? What's right? What's wrong? "The Ann Landers Guide for Brides" will relieve your anxiety. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

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