Student Swayed by Family Friend Makes Wrong Career Move by Lindsey Novak on Creators.com

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Student Swayed by Family Friend Makes Wrong Career Move

Q: I was in a bachelor's program for interior design and loved it. Then a close family friend talked me into changing majors, saying that I wasn't going to make enough money in the field. She is a very successful businesswoman, so I listened to her and changed majors and schools. I am a creative person, and I really miss the schoolwork entailed in all the creative projects I used to work on. I'm following the advice this woman gave me, but I can't stop thinking about what I really like to do. I am worried that I have made the wrong decision, but I also know that this woman is very smart and has my best interest at heart. I am only in my early 20s, and I know she is so much wiser than I am. But if she is right, why do I doubt my decision to switch careers?

A: You doubt your decision because you think that her being older and wiser qualifies her for knowing what is best for you. She may be highly successful in business, but being a businessperson requires different abilities and talents than being a creative designer. Your family friend may think she is helping you by telling you what to do, but the adage "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" applies here. Your longing for the type of work you did in interior design is your insight into what will make you happy. Choosing a field based on money alone works if money is your only goal. Imagine if someone had told Nate Berkus not to major in interior design or Beyonce not to pursue singing or Tiger Woods not to enter golf tournaments because attaining success in those fields is a chance in a million.

You need confidence. Don't be intimated by age or experience. Being 20-something is young, but that doesn't mean you can't make good decisions for yourself. Seeing as you have not put much time into the new major, tell your family friend that you appreciate hearing her views but that her path is not working for you. If she truly wants what is best for you, she will back off when you tell her you are going to return to the creative field of your choice.

Trust yourself, and go with your gut. The money will follow.

Employee Feels Different From Others at Work

Q: I always have seemed different from others — in school and in jobs. I never dressed or acted weirdly — putting ketchup on Jell-O, for example — but I was just different. I think I always have been more sensitive than most. Since I realized that, I've stayed quiet about things. I would like to be involved in conversations at work, but it just doesn't seem to go well when I join in. The people I work with are fine. They don't bother me or do mean things. I just wish I felt more comfortable and fit in with them. How does a person get more comfortable being with people?

A: You sound as though you have analyzed your situation and want to change but don't know how. Well, first, be thankful you don't put ketchup on Jell-O. Second, you need to accept your depth and sensitivity, knowing that changing your personality to fit in should not be your goal. Two activities may help you appreciate your uniqueness. Attending Toastmasters meetings in your area may help you feel more comfortable with speaking in front of people. You don't have to participate at first, but as you meet people and hear their speeches and the positive feedback they receive, you may decide to take part.

Also, read Robin Fisher Roffer's new book, "The Fearless Fish Out of Water: How To Succeed When You're the Only One Like You." Robin uses her own work experiences to help people appreciate their uniqueness. In exposing herself, her successes and her flaws, she creates a fascinating book filled with real-life examples and useful exercises to help people uncover their individuality. Her ultimate goal is for people to "believe in themselves, have courage, take action, trust their instincts, and live big and go deep."

Please send your questions to: Lindsey Novak, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. E-mail her at LindseyNovak@yahoo.com, or visit her Web site at www.LindseyNovak.com. She answers all e-mails. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.