Dear Annie: Good friends of ours visit frequently, often staying in our home three or four days. We welcome their visits, but recently the wife has begun wearing low-cut blouses revealing lots of cleavage. I am very uncomfortable with this, especially because she likes to lean over, revealing even more.

I have heard their marriage is in trouble, and I wonder if she is trying to catch my husband's eye. I know it is fashionable to wear low-cut clothing, but I am beginning to suspect more than fashion is at play in this case. How should I handle her decolletage without destroying our friendship? — More Than We Want To See

Dear More: Your friend may be trying to make her husband jealous, or she may be flirting with yours, but it is an effective tactic only if your husband is paying attention. If he's not interested, she just seems pathetic and desperate. The next time she does it, you might take her aside and jokingly remark that she looks like she's about to fall out of her blouse. Otherwise, we'd ignore her.

Dear Annie: Please tell your readers if they know a family that has a loved one in the service to take the time to give them a call, offer to baby-sit for a few hours, cook a meal or lend a hand. It can be quite lonely and difficult for one person to handle all of the child care and household duties while the spouse is deployed.

We are starting a third deployment soon. Although we have lots of friends, siblings and neighbors, no one calls or comes by. They send care packages to my spouse, but it doesn't occur to them to help me. I'm trying to get used to it, but I hope this letter will help others realize they can make a big difference in the lives of military families by extending a kindness. — Texas Army National Guard Spouse

Dear Spouse: People don't always consider that a helping hand is necessary or welcome, but any parent trying to raise children alone could use some assistance. Pick up the phone and call some of those friends and siblings and ask if they would baby-sit while you run to the store. Most folks are happy to help when they know what you need. And if any of our readers are aware of a military family trying to cope with a deployment, we hope they will ask if they can bring the kids a pizza.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Coastal Blues," whose rude in-laws misused their vacation home. Six years ago, I, too, had this problem.

My in-laws were using my vacation home without telling us they were heading down there. Sometimes they stayed for weeks at a time and brought their friends along. Several times I arrived to find the place a mess, with the pantry bare, the bottled water container empty, sand in all the drains, unmade beds and dishes in the sink. Finally, I had enough.

I changed all the locks and then asked for my key back. When they asked why I was cutting them off, I told them. They acted as though they were shocked to hear how they had misused my home. They pleaded for one more chance and I said, "No." My wife didn't agree, but she backed me up. After a year passed without them using our vacation home, we finally offered them another chance and they jumped at it like frogs. The place was never dirty again. Money was left in a jar, along with a note of thanks saying, "I love you."

Sometimes one just has to take a stand to protect something they cherish, even against family members. I did, and it worked. They may call me names behind my back, but that's OK. I won the war. — Louisville, Ky.

Dear Louisville: Good for you. You've proved the adage that no one can take advantage of you without your permission.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.