Dear Annie: I work for a wonderful company as an "administrative assistant extraordinaire." I love what I do and do it well, and I adore the owners.

A major headache for me is "Maxine," the woman who covers for me when I'm away from my desk, running errands, on vacation, etc. When I return to my desk, clients and employees from my office and our other offices often comment that Maxine comes across as uncaring, unhelpful, rude and just plain miserable. It's true. Even when she hands me a file or a message, she just says, "Here," holds it out for me to take and then leaves. A lot of times when I've needed to forward calls to her, she's on her cell phone talking to friends and just ignores me. She never offers to help answer the phone when I'm busy.

Management and the owners of the company are aware of her shortcomings but say backing me up is not Maxine's main job and, therefore, not a critical issue. My company plans to hire a receptionist in the future, but at this time, it's just not possible.

Annie, I find it hard to believe that Maxine is unaware that she lacks people skills. She is an organized, presentable woman. I want to bring up the issue with her, but she makes me so uneasy that I don't know how to do it. Can you help? — Terribly Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: Maxine is being insolent because she resents covering for you and behaves accordingly. Her performance does not reflect on you. It reflects poorly on the company. However, your supervisors have made it clear that they value Maxine and have no intention of doing anything about her rudeness — and she knows it. Tolerate as much as you can, and if anyone complains about her, tell them they should take it up with management.

Dear Annie: I am a 12-year-old girl in a weird predicament. There's a 13-year-old boy, "Alex," who lives up the street. He has a huge crush on me. He tells kids around the neighborhood that he wants to make out with me and marry me, and he says he has sexual urges around me.

Alex claims he just wants to be friends, but all the things he says behind my back frighten me. I would like to let him down gently, but I really don't want to be his friend. What should I do? — Scared of Him

Dear Scared: We think Alex is like a lot of 13-year-old boys who say things they believe will impress their friends because they don't have the maturity to handle their emotions well. First, talk to your parents about what Alex has been saying. They need to know. Then, when they are nearby, tell Alex politely that you find his remarks offensive and frightening and you cannot be friends with him unless he becomes more respectful.

Dear Annie: "Upset Wife" thinks no one knows about her drinking, and she was angry that her husband told a niece who also has a drinking problem. Believe me, everyone in the family has known about the wife's drinking for some time. Neighbors and friends know, store clerks, the school principal very likely knows. Her children are dealing the best they can with an alcoholic mother who is emotionally absent much of the time. I am fairly sure they do not have friends over.

I feel compassion for her husband, who is probably overwhelmed much of the time. His enabling behavior allows his wife to live in self-deception, a key ingredient of addiction. There is help. Al-Anon is a welcoming source of healing, empowerment and hope for family members living with an alcoholic. I know. I wish their entire family wholeness and happiness. — Vermont

Dear Vermont: Many readers said "Upset Wife" is fooling herself if she thinks she is hiding her drinking. Anyone who wishes to contact Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org) can do so by calling 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-800-425-2666).

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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