Dear Annie: We have great friends who will be staying with us next month. The problem is, they want to bring their little dog, "Darling." The dog is old, cantankerous, longhaired and given a bath only three times a year. She is incontinent and needs to be watched.

In past visits, these friends left Darling with us during the day so they could meet up with old buddies, and it became our job to deal with their dog. They were extremely unhappy when we put Darling in a crate in their guest room and closed the door when we had to leave. They said it was unfair to their precious little dog. They apparently didn't mind being unfair to us.

The last time they were due for a visit, we asked that they not bring Darling since we had new carpet laid throughout the house. I also told them one of our dogs was feeling ill in the hope that it would keep Darling away. My pleas went in one ear and out the other. They brought her anyway, and we had to have the carpet cleaned when they left. They thought it was funny that Darling made a mess all over our family room. I was fuming.

Darling is not up to date with her vaccinations and she is a possible health risk to our pets. We assume this is why they can't get Darling boarded at a kennel. When we visit them, we leave our pets at home, hoping they'll get the message. They don't. Why can't they understand Darling is not welcome? — Not Our Darling

Dear Not Our Darling: They don't want to understand, so they ignore your hints and pleas. You need to be more direct and firm. Tell them you are so sorry, but you cannot accommodate Darling. Period. If the dog shows up anyway, inform your guests that Darling will have to be kept crated since she is incontinent. We know they love their dog, but it is a huge imposition to bring her where she is not welcome and where she will make a mess of the carpets. (And you should have sent them the bill for the cleaning.)

Dear Annie: I know summer is over, but the weather is still warm where I live, and I'd like to pass along a suggestion: Please, ladies, buy some longer shorts.

We've all seen too many unattractive legs lately. If the inseam rides up into your crotch, your shorts are too short. If there are two half moons of your backside slipping out, they are too short. Doesn't anyone remember when modesty was a virtue? Please tell them, Annie. Thanks. — Gloria in the Southeast

Dear Gloria: OK, you told 'em. Hopefully, anyone wearing shorts will take a look in a full-length mirror before leaving home.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Help Needed in Upstate N.Y.," who sent his daughter money for college necessities and she used it to take a vacation and ended up rooming with a guy. Dad was so angry he told her he will no longer pay for college and she can't live at home anymore.

I think he's right on target. I told my three sons what I expected from them when they started college (no drinking, good grades, being gentlemen with the ladies) and said if they didn't like the rules, they were on their own.

Our children held up their part of the deal and so did we. They are all adults now and respected professionals in their chosen fields. Parents need to stand up and give their children the information needed to make their own choices and then stick to them. We are all happier for the decisions made. — Proud Dad

Dear Dad: It helps to lay out the rules in advance, as you did. Punishment after the fact, with no recourse, is a harsh way to go. We hope Dad doesn't regret it.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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