Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for two years and are anxiously awaiting the birth of our first child — a boy.

My side of the family is very close. My husband's side is a different story. My mother-in-law and I have not spoken since the wedding, except for a heated phone conversation a year ago. She ended that phone call by saying, "I hope God never blesses you with the gift of a child."

My husband has pleaded with his mother to call and see how I am doing, but there is no desire on her part. Based on her rude and demeaning comments about me, I assume she'd prefer we divorce. Needless to say, I do not feel obligated to let her have anything to do with our son. If she cannot accept me, how can she accept something that is growing inside me?

My husband claims he supports me 100 percent, but I fear that the first time his mother throws one of her fake pity-party crying fits about seeing the baby, he will cave. Am I making the wrong decision? — Expecting and Stressed

Dear Expecting: One of the nice things about a new baby is it gives parents and grandparents an opportunity to mend fences. Your mother-in-law sounds like a tough case, but if you approach her with conciliation instead of anger, she may respond in kind. Don't bring up the past. When the baby is born, call and say you'd like to let bygones be bygones and invite her to meet her grandson. We're hoping she will be civil enough to start fresh. If not, you are perfectly justified in staying away, but please don't keep Hubby from bringing your son to see Grandma. He obviously still cares about Mom, and she will probably adore the baby, although he must promise that if she denigrates you to the child, the visits will end.

Dear Annie: I'm a 27-year-old female and have been with a wonderful guy for five years.

We are engaged to be married in a small ceremony (immediate family only) with a larger reception after.

My problem is this: My parents divorced when I was quite young, and my father's side of the family didn't have much interest in spending time with my brother or me. My father, now deceased, had a daughter from his second marriage, and I would love to invite her to my reception. Am I obligated to invite the rest of my father's family, whom I barely know? I don't want to start a feud. — Confused in Family Matters

Dear Confused: Are you in touch with your father's family? If not, you do not have to include them. However, if there is some contact, it would be nice to at least include grandparents, if there are any.

Dear Annie: You recently printed a letter from "Broke in Phoenix," a young college student who was barely scraping by financially. You offered a number of good suggestions. May I offer some more?

The writer mentioned car payments as one of her major budget items. She should consider selling her car and buying a cheaper one, or taking public transportation. She also can cut back her hours next semester. That should both reduce her tuition and free up some time, which might enable her to put in extra hours at work.

She might also suggest to her unemployed boyfriend that he get a paper route. It won't make him rich, but even a few dollars would do the pair of them a lot of good. There's no reason he couldn't get up early, run a paper route and still have all day to job-hunt. — Ann in Bismarck, N.D.

Dear Ann: There are plenty of part-time, off-hours, minimum-wage jobs available for someone who is serious about earning extra cash while looking for better employment. Thanks for the suggestions.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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