Dear Doug by Doug Mayberry

Q: My wife and I thought we had it made when we both retired at 65. Now, we are counting pennies. After we buy groceries, pay utilities, make car payments, pay taxes and make our church pledge, we find ourselves tapped out. What can we now do?

A: There are no givens. Employees paying Social Security taxes are concerned about their payback. Now, some individuals define long-term employment as three months.

Your goal should be to redefine and acknowledge your basic needs. Wishes will have to wait. Recently, in Europe, we paid over $7 for a Coke. We quickly learned water becomes tastier, and bottles are easily refilled.

Become proactive and creative by analyzing where you are actually spending your money. Evaluate your expenses by categories. Check out your food, housing, auto, health and medical insurance, entertainment and tax commitments. Consider cutting your expenses by talking to your insurance agent about higher deductibles, joining a warehouse-buying club and remembering not to go shopping without a no-nonsense shopping list. Make your entertainment visiting a free museum, exercising regularly, taking a self-help class or organizing a potluck dinner club.

Clip newspaper coupons. Ask competitors to match them. Increase your savings by opening a direct deposit account. Pay bills electronically to avoid late payments.

If you find something you want to buy, don't purchase it until you sleep on it. Often, you decide you do not need it. Eat half of your restaurant meal, split plates or ask for takeout. If you need furniture, kitchenware or a gift, go to the frequent retirement community estate sales.

Often, we underestimate our survival ability.

Remember the covered wagons and other bumps in the roads. In hunkering down, we may be able to spend more quality time with our loved ones. Being grateful for what have, not for what we want, steers us toward happiness. If our ancestors had not coped successfully with their struggles, we would not be here. Necessity remains the mother of invention!

Q: We just retired and have moved to an active retirement community. We are finding it difficult to adjust and to make new friends. We are shy and wait for strangers to say "hello." How can we fit in?

A: Retirement brings a new level to everyone's relationship. The playing field is now leveled from who you are now, not who you used to be. Successful retirement requires a change of attitudes and habits. Seek out common interests, religious affiliations, shopping habits, avocations and new friends who agree with your politics. Be patient. It is wise not to be too anxious to become involved, because it takes time to get to know each other.

Most men, no longer working, usually have a more difficult time building new friendships. If they have passionate avocations, such as golf, it is helpful. Women learn to adjust to a 24-hour partner. They lose part of their privacy. Sometimes their husbands even insist on lunch!

Reality is life is ever changing, yet a normal process. Take the initiative. Be the first to say "hello," existing owners have. Be patient, and before long, you, too, will become full-fledged club members.

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life after work in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM