Kid Needs Money by Doug Mayberry on Creators.com

Recently

Wiggle Room When You Spend! Q: My wonderful widowed mother is every salesman's dream. When my father was alive, he managed the maintenance and caretaking of their home. He chose when to paint, when to purchase a stove, and in effect, made the final decision as to how they …Read more. Patience and Experience Wins Q: Our grandson is off to college in September, and he is eager to spread his wings. He is a hard working student, but as of yet, has not chosen a career path. Fortunately, he has the ability to choose either a scientific or liberal arts direction. …Read more. Keeping the Records Straight! Q: My wife has turned into a must-do daily journalist. She spends about 20 minutes before going to bed to record and reflect on what she did that day. I appreciate her commitment for doing so. Often we try to recall a name or memory, which does not …Read more. Financing Grandchildren Q: My wife and I were born in the early 1930s, and we look back and remember how happy our childhood was. We did not have much, but we thought mom's fried chicken and lemon pie were super treats. We knew all of our neighbors and looked out for each …Read more.

Kid Needs Money

Q: We have two grown sons. One, who has two young children, wants us to lend him $25,000 to move to a larger home. We are financially able to make the loan, but a major underlying concern is that he and his wife separated for over two months last year. Do you think it is a wise to make the loan?

A: Ask questions. Do they really need to move up? Do they need better schools? Does the family need more bedrooms? Is it really a loan or a gift? Do you believe they may divorce in the future? Will your other son ask for his $25,000?

Should you elect to make the loan, are you prepared to accept the results? If your son is unable to make the payments, how would you handle your relationships within your family? Money often changes relationships. Write out your questions.

If you do the loan, hire an attorney to draw up a loan agreement that includes the monthly repayment plus reasonable interest. Under the current Internal Revenue Service gift taxing rules and to avoid taxation, only $13,000 per year and per individual is currently allowed. Also keep in mind that nothing is set in stone, and it is always possible to forgive the loan.

Your first priority is to insure that you and your wife have sufficient funds for your lifetime. Rarely do our children have the ability to come forward and provide us the lifestyle we now enjoy!

Q: I am seriously concerned about the health of my wife. We moved her mother to a rest home.

She has been difficult to handle since our marriage. She wants to be in control of our lives.

We know she does not feel well and needs 24-hour caretaking, especially as we both work. My wife is a loving person and believes it is partly her fault that her mother has always been unpleasant to us. That is why she is over-caretaking her mother. Mom insists on it. What can I do?

A: You need to hold a serious discussion with your wife about your feelings and what you see happening. There are no winners should your wife suffer serious burnout. She could be so committed that she may not even realize she is approaching a breakdown. Who wins then? You will be taking care of both your wife and her mother.

There is a difference between feelings and actions. Your challenge is to convince your wife her mother is in the right environment and is being well cared for. It would be a good idea to ask her doctor for a recommendation for a therapist, or call your local hospice for an experienced volunteer who has helped another adjust to guilt care issues.

Burnout is a normal feeling. Overriding guilt and remorse are challenging. They are usually not solved until the patient says they are giving them up. However, in the mean time, the entire family is stymied.

Your wife and you have done well by her mother by providing professional care for her. Now, it is time for you to focus and take care of each other!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.