Dear Doug by Doug Mayberry

Q: In aging, one of my most frustrating problems is becoming forgetful. What really bugs me is I can remember the red dress I wore the night I met my husband, but yesterday I couldn't recall my best friend's name. Is there a reasonable explanation for these gaps?

A: Our brain records everything we do. The problem is, which file is it in? Logic would have it that the secret is filed under A-Z. We have all found that is not so. Given time, we can concentrate so hard that our brain flushes out the answer. Although researchers continue to find the secrets in our brains' file cabinet, "Eureka!" has not been voiced. Could it be each of us has our own cycle? Do food, vitamins and exercise have an influence? Or is our data randomly tossed about in our head on an ongoing basis? Sometimes, regardless of age, every person experiences temporary memory gaps: "I just can't think of it right now."

As an example, if I ask your sister how she remembers your parents' anniversary party, and you compare it to how you experienced the celebration, could a stranger believe it was the same party? Even after highly charged emotional experiences, such as witnessing a shooting, two actual witnesses find it difficult to pinpoint the shooter.

How can we not remember the name of someone we met last night, but easily remember our grandmother's sister's name? Our brains do not pass judgments; every event is locked somewhere in your brain. Time also mellows our memories. When grandparents remind you of their heritage, we accept them at face value. However, a year later, in their retelling the stories, the details change.

Emotion, control, happiness, sadness or other impressionable events should float to the top easily.

I believe that is because we are in denial and do not want to remember negative actions. We will remember our happiest memories forever.

At age 78, I refiled my mortgage and was offered either a 15- or a 30-year contract. I chose 30. Based on my current memory loss, I have set up automatic payments by my bank.

SO ... YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER?

Q: I read your column almost every week and know it takes a lot of commitment. You must write the equivalent of a book each year. Almost everyone I know talks about writing a book, as I do. I realize if I want to get it done, I had better get moving. What drives you cartoonists and editorial commentators to write?

A: Our major benefit is probably ego driven. We are not afraid of letting you know who we are and what makes us tick, believe and feel. Writers write because they have to write.

Readers respond negatively or positively. It is very rewarding when we learn of positive responses. Feedback gives us our reward and can influence our decision to continue or not. Editors continue to pay us if their readers buy their papers or books. It can be a lonely career — demanding lots of time, requiring a talented editor to survive and being a mental challenge. Often, others voice the fact that writers are about half nuts. I don't disagree.

Write or e-mail me to let me know that you have started your new career!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life after work in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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