Balancing Apathy and Action by Doug Mayberry on Creators.com

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Balancing Apathy and Action

Q: Since my husband and I retired, we have slid into an unhealthy routine. We enjoy eating too much, consider our exercise to be punching the TV remote, sleeping, napping and imbibing with a little more alcohol. After two years of this, we now realize we are digging ourselves into a hole that can only get worse. How can we throw ourselves out of balance and look forward to something, rather than continue to spiral downward?

A: It will be a challenge, but you need to set specific goals and map out an action plan. Focus on positives and not negatives. Recently, when I was running around my block, I shared a few steps with a gentleman who obviously was having difficulty in pushing his walker. He smiled and said: "I wish I could still do that!" Old age is better than the alternative.

In the aging process, most of us have taken a few licks and experienced falling into a few potholes. Declare war on that happening. Make a commitment to change your lifestyle now, while you are still able to do so. I guarantee you will never regret it!

Q: Our grandson is coming home soon for his holiday vacation, after completing his first semester in college. He has told his parents he has been put on probation for failing grades. If he does not improve, he will be asked to leave. This has thrown us into a shock. Before enrolling, we agreed to pay 75 percent of his expenses.

We never expected this would happen. When asked what the problem was, he said he was having too much fun and didn't study enough.

A: No doubt he will offer other justifiable reasons why he is failing when he gets home. Some of the more serious ones will probably be that he was not prepared for the pressures of college, he is in love, his courses are not stimulating, he is homesick, he misses his high school friends, he would prefer to get a job rather than lean on his grandparents for support, or he does not want to saddle himself with student loans.

You will not be doing him or your family any favors if you do not hold him responsible for his actions. If he has difficulty in revealing or justifying his situation, you may need to seek professional academic counseling while he is on vacation. Maybe you have a good trade school in your area that could help him find a passion.

Often, an effective wakeup option is that if he flunks out, then he would be expected to find a job, pay his parents rent or move out. Why allow him another semester to goof off and waste time and money if he is not interested in additional education now?

This decision and reality may be the jolt and option that prove how much he likes college!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.