We All Need Help by Dr. Robert Wallace on Creators.com

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We All Need Help

DR. WALLACE: I had polio at age 6 that left me with two crippled legs. With the aid of two crutches and leg braces, I am able to walk and attend a local high school. I carry my books in a backpack and make it to my classes on time.

My problem is that my classmates are always trying to do things for me, such as offering to carry my books or hold doors open for me. I am very independent and can do these things myself.

How can I let these kids know I can do it myself? Talking doesn't seem to work. — Nameless, Santa Fe, N.M.

NAMELESS: I admire your spunk and determination.

Don't get so uptight when people offer to lend a hand. They are simply being friendly and kind. If they offer, and you don't want to accept, smile and say, "No, thank you, I can make it."

But remember all of us need a little help once in a while, so let them know when you really do need their help.

THE PRESIDENT OF THE HONOR SOCIETY CHEATS

DR. WALLACE: I am vice president of the Honor Society, and my best friend is president. Yesterday during a Spanish test, my friend was cheating. I was furious and upset. My mother said I should report her to the teacher and stop seeing her. I'm really upset, but don't want to lose my friendship with this girl. What should I do? — Nameless, Cleveland.

NAMELESS: Actually, since this girl is your best friend, you are in a good position to help her. One mistake should not end a good friendship. At a relaxed time, tell her you saw her cheating and offer your help. If she is receptive and accepts your help, your friendship should continue to grow.

If she is not receptive, do not desert her, but spend more time with other friends.

Knowing that you are aware that she cheated on a test might be the stimulus to cause her to abandon her unacceptable test-taking behavior.

Telling your friend that you observed her cheating is sufficient. As you are well aware, she is just cheating herself. There is no need to share that information with the teacher.

MY BODY SHAKES WHEN I SPEAK IN CLASS

DR. WALLACE: Whenever I have to speak before an audience or class, I get so nervous that my body actually shakes. Last week I had to give a report in history, and besides the shakes, my hands were clammy and my voice cracked.

Knowing that I will have to talk to groups again because I plan to go to college, is there any way to overcome this fear? — Tanya, Philadelphia.

TANYA: Every speaker has a certain amount of "butterflies," but experienced speakers usually lose these once the speech is under way.

Here are a few tips that work for me. I hope you find them helpful.

— Don't memorize your speech, but know your subject matter.

— Use notecards whenever possible (jot key words and ideas on the cards).

— Practice your speech in front of a mirror looking yourself in the eye.

— Know something about the audience.

— Be aware of your hands and what they are doing.

— Keep constant eye contact with your audience.

— Whenever possible, use a rostrum.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.