DR. WALLACE: I am in the ninth grade, and our family will soon be moving to a suburb of Detroit because my dad has been transferred there. I have lived in Rockford all my life. I have a lot of friends here, so I'm a little bit nervous about moving to another state and especially living in a large metropolitan area. At the same time, I'm happy for my dad, and the thought of being in the Detroit area is sort of exciting. Any tips you might provide to help my move be successful will be appreciated. —Lynn, Rockford, Ill.

LYNN: It's never easy changing schools, especially when the new school is more than 400 miles from old friends. But as you say, it can be an exciting adventure.

Dr. Judith Meyers-Walls, a professor of child development at Purdue University, offers the following tips to help teens get started on the right foot:

—Take the time to find what the norm is at your school. Girls, before you wear that vinyl miniskirt, or guys, those torn blue jeans, look around. Is everyone else dressed conservatively? Pay close attention to the way things are run and the things people wear and say. Then when you make your fashion decisions, you'll have an idea whether you're likely to fit in or stand out.

—Don't hesitate to let people know you're new. Say something like, "Excuse me, but I'm new here. Could you please show me where the cafeteria is?" The other students will probably enjoy the chance to show you around and fill you in on things. And you're sure to learn more if you admit you don't know everything.

—Join an extracurricular club. You won't feel like a stranger for long if you belong to a school club. "If you worked for the newspaper at your old school, join the staff of the paper at your new one. It helps to keep some consistency in your life when everything around you is changing," Myers-Walls advises. Don't miss the first meeting. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to join.

—Be outgoing. As the new teen, you'll have to make an extra effort to talk to others. Strike up a conversation with someone as you leave class. Discuss the homework assignment or something the teacher said.

—Don't pretend to be something you're not. Boasting, lying about your experiences or putting on airs in order to get along with a new group of kids won't get you very far. Even if it does help you break into a group, you'll feel uncomfortable if you have adopted behavior that is in conflict with your real beliefs and values.

PINK AND BLUE HAIR IS NOT ACCEPTABLE

DR. WALLACE: I'm mad as can be, and I don't know what to do about it. I read our student handbook and didn't see anything about a student's hair color. I was planning to attend a fraternity party with my boyfriend (he's in college; I'm in high school), and all the girls were to have wild-colored hair. My friend and I spent over three hours coming up with a pink base with blue streaks. It really looked cool.

Well, when I went to school on Monday, the vice principal sent me home and told me not to return until I came back with "normal" hair color, even if it wasn't the same color (dishwasher blond) that it once was. I was furious. Since the party was on the following Friday, I didn't attend. Can the school really dictate my hair color? —Nameless, Madison, Wis.

NAMELESS: Had you been a student attending classes where I was principal, you also would have been sent home. Pink and blue hair simply causes too much distraction in a learning facility.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.