My Fiance Might be an Alcoholic by Dr. Robert Wallace on Creators.com

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My Fiance Might be an Alcoholic

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19, and my fiance is 21. He wants to set a date for our marriage, but I keep stalling because I'm not so sure I want to marry him. Don't get me wrong. He is a great guy with many fine qualities, but he has one major flaw. He consumes much more alcohol than he should. His father is an alcoholic and has been hospitalized several times for alcohol-related illnesses. His mother considers herself a "social drinker."

Both of my parents are nondrinkers. I, too, have never tasted alcohol, and I don't intend to. I know what misery it can cause a family. Many times my fiance has asked me to take a sip of his cocktail, but I refused. I've tried to get Phil to cut down on his alcohol consumption, but he always says that he can control his drinking whenever he wants to. But he never seems like he wants to.

My parents like Phil, but think he might already be an alcoholic, so they keep preaching to me not to marry him until he has stopped drinking altogether. I'm not sure this will ever happen. I fear he, like his father, is an alcoholic and not like his social drinking mother. Would it be possible that Phil would quit drinking after we are married? He says he loves me and would do anything for me. He is a compassionate and sweet guy! Your advice, please. - Christine, San Antonio, Texas

CHRISTINE: Some people do eliminate bad habits after saying, "I do," but the majority continue to "do their thing" until "death do they part." Couples considering marriage should confront their bad habits before tying the knot, especially when it comes to drinking.

Alcohol is a powerfully addictive drug, and the addiction lasts a lifetime. With the help of groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, an alcoholic can live a sober life — so long as the person never drinks again.

Don't marry Phil at this time. Promises to quit sometime in the future are insufficient. Make sure he understands he has no chance of being your husband until his alcohol problem is eliminated. It's very possible that you will never marry Phil!

WHICH IS MORE HARMFUL - TOBACCO OR ALCOHOL?

DR. WALLACE: Don't hedge! Give me your honest professional answer. Which addiction is more harmful, tobacco or alcohol? I'm doing a research paper on this subject. Please answer my question with one word because I'm asking 100 professionals their view. - Sarah, Reno, Nev.

SARAH: Alcohol. P.S. I hope your research consists of more than a one-word response from your 100 professionals. Regardless, I'd enjoy receiving the results of your research.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.