My Father Took Me Home by Dr. Robert Wallace on Creators.com

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My Father Took Me Home

DR. WALLACE: My aunt's 17-year-old son was killed in an automobile accident. It was determined that he had alcohol in his system. His parents had no idea he drank. He was a popular boy, and his funeral was one somber and sad affair.

At his funeral, I made a commitment to myself that I would never drive after drinking and would never ride with a driver who had been drinking.

Last weekend, my boyfriend and I went to a wedding. Of course, alcohol was served at the reception. My boyfriend doesn't drink, but somehow he was talked into having a beer. When I saw he had a beer in his hand, I called my father who came and took me home. Now my boyfriend is mad at me because he said he only had one beer and that in no way hindered his driving ability.

What he doesn't know is that I'm more upset than he is. I called him last night and told him I will no longer go out with him because he consumed alcohol and then got behind the wheel of a vehicle. I will miss Brian, but my commitment is more powerful than dating a certain guy. — Florence, Birmingham, Ala.

FLORENCE: The shock of losing your cousin in a car accident has clearly had a lasting impact on you, and I commend you for your commitment.

If you had previously told Brian how adamant you were about your no-drinking stance, then he lost you by his own reckless action. If you didn't have a conversation about drinking prior to the reception, then maybe the fact that he doesn't normally drink should be factored into the decision whether to break up with him or not.

Still, I can't fault you on your absolute refusal to put up with drinking and driving.

One drink will impair a driver's efficiency. A person doesn't have to be drunk to be alcohol-impaired.

I HANG WITH GUYS WHO DO DRUGS

DR. WALLACE: I don't smoke, drink or do drugs, but the guys I hang around with do. My parents are upset that I hang around with these friends. They think I'll start picking up their undesirable habits, but I keep telling them I have the willpower not to. What can I do to convince my parents that I'm not susceptible to peer pressure? — Nameless, Willmar, Minn.

NAMELESS: I doubt if there's anything you can do — short of finding new friends. I don't blame your mom and dad for being concerned. Peer pressure is a powerful force, especially during the teen years.

You might never smoke, drink or do drugs, but the chances are much greater that you will avoid these unhealthy and illegal habits if you spend most of your time around friends who also avoid them.

SHOULD PARENTS CHOOSE THEIR TEEN'S FRIENDS?

DR. WALLACE: My mother is very strict. She never likes my friends and only lets me be friends with kids I don't really like. Do you think parents should choose their kid's friends? I sure don't think so. — Nameless, DeKalb, Ill.

NAMELESS: No, parents definitely should not select friends for their children. But they should get to know their children's friends and reserve the right to curtail any friendship that seems harmful or negative.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.