Tales From the Front by Cheryl Lavin

We recently heard from Confused in Colorado who said his epilepsy controlled his life to the extent that he felt he could never marry.

I told him to stop listening to negative people, join a support group for people with epilepsy who want to exchange information, not to hold a pity party, and to find a supportive doctor who's committed to helping his patients live full, normal lives with as few restrictions as possible.

I told him there were thousands of women he could connect with, but he had to be willing to put himself out there and that meant facing possible disappointment and embarrassment.

Here's the deal: You got a bad break. You can let it define you and restrict you or you can have a full, wonderful life despite having epilepsy.

I felt he was at a turning point in his life.

Confused in Colorado wrote to say he's “in the process of contemplating what steps to take. It has come to light that my doctor did not figure out a medical regimen that can effectively control my seizures, which is why I have been sort of depressed.

“But I actually came upon one that may effectively control them. Based on that, I may get my driver's license reinstated when I see the doctor again and can live life normally. If that is the case, I may be fine in the long run.”

Well, to be perfectly honest, readers, I was hoping for a bit more enthusiasm from Confused in Colorado. I was hoping that the news that his epilepsy could be controlled would thrill him.

But that was unrealistic on my part.

CIC says he's been “sort of depressed.” I've learned that depression in epileptics is very common. And depression can make getting dressed seem exhausting. Finding the right doctor and the right meds may seem overwhelming.

So Confused in Colorado, please confront your depression —whether with drugs, therapy or both — at the same time you're dealing with everything else. I know it seems like a lot, but start with baby steps, just as long as you keep moving forward.

And please stay in touch. A lot of us are rooting for you.

Here's a note from Ian who also has epilepsy:

“I was in college, studying Pharmacy. In my last year, I had a massive seizure. I finished school. After graduation, I worked six days a week in two drugstores. I had no further problems, although I couldn't drive until years later.

“In 1960, I met my wife and we were married. After a number of years, we bought a new home. We tried having kids but we were unsuccessful. We adopted a boy and a girl.

“In 1970, I had another massive seizure, which landed me in the hospital. I had surgery. I continued to work, and after a while, I was able to drive. In 1972, I drove my family to Florida for a vacation.

“I've been working now for 51 years. I have a successful marriage. I had a stroke three years ago, but considering everything, I think I did pretty well.

“I know my situation isn't exactly the same as CIC, but I'd still like to tell him not to give up. I wish him the best of luck.”

How has your partner responded to your illness? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. To find out more about Cheryl Lavin, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com.

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