Tracking Device by Susan Deitz on Creators.com

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Chances -- Dialogue DEAR SUSAN: You raise the issue of "can you forgive and forget?" and I need to chime in because my significant other flirts with other women, in front of me and behind my back. I'm ashamed to say I miss him terribly when he's not with me, …Read more. Strength DEAR SUSAN: Thanks for reminding women not to appear too strong when they're out. — Glenda F., Long Island, N.Y. DEAR GLENDA: Which column was it that inspired your gratitude? The one about handling a credit card with dignity and not mopping …Read more. Therapist Mistake DEAR SUSAN: As a therapist (with a doctorate), I feel terribly guilty about a recent ordeal with a client. I made an advance toward this beautiful woman I was counseling. I couldn't help myself because I felt she returned my feelings. (We're both …Read more. Stylish Kissing DEAR SUSAN: My question concerns kissing styles. Is it safe to say that everyone kisses somewhat differently? My problem is that the first three women I dated for some period of time all kissed the same way, and I guess you could say I …Read more.

DEAR SUSAN: My fiance is very personable and giving but is close friends with a married woman. I don't know the depth of their relationship or whether they've been physical, but I have my suspicions. (Of course, he denies everything and says it's all my imagination.) My family and friends don't believe him; they think I've lost it! I've often thought of having him followed, but what good would that do? I must decide whether or not to leave. — Laura L., Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR LAURA: If you read your letter again, you'll discover you've already signed an exit visa. You're outta there, with a click of the heels and a smile. C'mon now. Your instincts — woman's intuition? — are shouting it's time to leave; your loving family seconds the emotion; and — most telling of all — you yourself are thinking of having him followed! Duh. Well, the best of all tracking devices is your own gut, and don't ever forget that. If someone seems untrustworthy, if a situation smells fishy, you can bet your sweet bippy it is. And when this travesty is over — and it won't be long now — you'll have learned that valuable lesson. Consider this a wake-up call to stay alert (24/7) to your inner cues. To trust them, not to override them, to treat them like the best buddies they are. Brava feminine intuition.

SEX AND CHOCOLATE: AN OPEN LETTER.

(To the reader who realizes that her partner doesn't fill her emotional needs and that having sex is the only way she can feel loved — that sex is her version of chocolate): Not to minimize those perky little chocolate kisses, but we all know (or should) that sex is good only when the rest of the relationship is good. One of the significant facts of life is that both partners must have their needs met in their vertical day-to-day lives for their horizontal lives to be gratifying. Think about it the next time you're having cocoa.

LET'S GET BEHIND OUR WARRIORS. Visit http://CommunityOfVeterans.org and http://SupportYourVet.org.

DEAR SUSAN: How would you react to a boyfriend who used to call three times a day but won't even come to visit when you're sick in the hospital? — Bernadette M., Portland, Ore.

DEAR BERNADETTE: Slowly, very slowly. I would be very careful to hear him out, to listen to his reasons for not visiting. There are people who become ill even walking in a hospital corridor. Something about the odors, the partially open doors with partial views of sick people in bed, and nurses administering medications can actually trigger memories and physical symptoms for some people. If my boyfriend were not one of them, he'd need an awfully good explanation for his being a no-show. Without one, he'd be a nowhere man. Bye-bye.

Write to Susan Deitz in care of this newspaper. She will answer all letters that come with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Or you may e-mail her at info@creators.com.