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As Is
DEAR SUSAN: I guess that at this stage of life (age 63), I'm willing to be the exact same man a woman wants, as long as that doesn't involve change. Sounds kind of selfish at first hearing, but I expect to return the favor — or not find her …Read more.
Courage
DEAR SUSAN: If, as you believe, courage is the passport from old stale patterns, then only the brave are sure to get their dreams fulfilled. But if the answers to our questions are inside us, why don't we just take a peek? — From the …Read more.
Womanstrong
DEAR SUSAN: Your quiz question about whether strong, assertive women turn men off made me write to you. Even men with assertive, strong mothers seem to like women who are bubbly and interesting without being too independent. Often, it is hard for me …Read more.
Sorting Sex, Part 1
The best way to do these questions justice is to read them through in one sitting, let them marinate awhile and then read them again and give your responses. Some may trigger immediate responses; others take more thought. But however you approach …Read more.
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FearDEAR SUSAN: Your response to the woman who was blindsided by her boyfriend for unexplained reasons really hit home. I was dating a woman for almost a year. I treated her like gold. There were no fights, lots of mutual love and respect, many great times. Just as I was thinking long term — maybe we would move in together — she decided that our relationship wasn't "making her heart beat faster anymore." The few reasons she gave were, I felt, misunderstandings, and I explained them. Even after I'd stated my case over and over, she wouldn't give us a second chance. Eight months later, it's been very difficult for me to let go and move on, as I was very much in love with her. I keep wondering what I did to make her turn against me so drastically or what I could have done differently to make her stay. I'm sure I'm not the only male to go through this, so any advice you can give us guys would be greatly appreciated. — From the "Single File" blog DEAR BLOGGER: My immediate reaction is one of fear. Not mine or yours but that of your lady. It seems she and you arrived at a make-or-break point in the relationship, and she simply couldn't go on, drowning in her own fear. Somehow she mistook that point for dullness and the end of good times, so she fled — without a real explanation, sad to say. Many women (men, too) reach that point in a perfectly good relationship and flee, explaining their flight so pathetically that they themselves aren't convinced.
DEAR READERS: The next letter is a follow-up from the same man. DEAR SUSAN: Thanks for your prompt response. Your explanation does make some sense. Looking back, I'm trying to figure out where the fear came into play eight months ago. I knew for a long time that if I somehow ended on her bad side, she would be unforgiving and stubborn, so her lack of flexibility back then wasn't a surprise. (It was a disappointment, but not a surprise.) I know for sure I loved and cared about her more than anyone ever has — or will do; she even admitted that. And with all that, after 10 great months, she decided to walk away. How does someone up and walk away from so much? Call me simple, but it just stinks when things don't make sense. Again, thanks for responding. I just wish your answer would appear in next week's newspaper, as I know she reads "Single File" every week. — A simple man who likes logical endings DEAR READERS: Your own experiences with illogical endings would make for interesting reading, but more importantly, they can help readers figure out certain endings in their lives that just don't add up. If life on planet Earth has meaning, if its lessons are meant to make us more understanding of one another, as I believe they are, then we need to put our heads/hearts together and help one another share the experience of unmarried life. Write in today. No names necessary. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at sumor123@aol.com. COPYRIGHT 2013 CREATORS.COM
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