Dear John: I am a 50-year-old bachelor who is an Ivy-League MBA, physically fit and making a very good living. I still have all my hair, and I've been told I "look 10 years younger than I am." I have remained single all my life mainly out of fear of being financially bushwhacked by a female, as many of my friends have been by their wives, after nasty divorces.

I think several "precautions" could have helped them avert many of these disasters. What is wrong with a successful man or woman seeking a partner of similar financial standing? If financial considerations are "part of the package," the other partner brings some "risk equity" to the table, too. I don't mean a straight 50-50 financial partnership, but something close, like 60-40 would be OK with me but not a 90-10 or even an 80-20 split.

Whenever I mention this to most women, the response is that the issue is taboo (with the "have-nots," of course). They think the world operates on "love," and they've convinced some naive men to go along with this assumption! Do you agree? —Money Walks not Talks, in Bee Cave, Texas

Dear Money Walks not Talks: Since you seem to have a way with numbers, let me suggest that your odds of finding a soul mate who feels the way you do are approximately 100 to 1.

If I were you, I'd take the time to rethink the meaning of love. Is it, in fact, equal financial status? Or is it all the indefinable acts that demonstrate monogamous commitment and emotional joy? Love can be qualified, but not quantified.

If you want to improve your odds, I suggest you seek counseling to help you get in touch with your fears about relationships. Learn to appreciate the currency of the heart, and you'll get a better return on your investment.

Dear John: The man in my life is rather insecure. If I make a statement about my own feelings, "Hank" invariably translates my remark into a criticism aimed at him. He then gets very hurt and offended that I could think so poorly of him. Because of this, it has become virtually impossible to bring up anything that annoys or upsets me.

I understand that men have a need to look good to their girlfriends and the others in their lives, but his reactions seem off the scale. Despite how carefully I word it or attempt to avoid even the slightest hint of blame or criticism, Hank gets so hurt, when I bring up a problem, we cannot discuss it — yet he is extremely concerned with pleasing others and never doing anything to displease or disappoint. How do I communicate with him about this? —Looking for a Better Way, in Charlotte, N.C.

Dear Better Way: Some people are definitely more sensitive to feedback than others. This is not a character deficiency, but rather a character trait. In order to successfully communicate your feelings and needs, you need to take him off the defensive. Before expressing a concern to him, precede the discussion with several examples of things he did that pleased you or that you appreciated. When sensitive people feel successful and realize that they are being appreciated, they feel supported and can better handle negative feedback.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." Visit his website, http://www.marsvenus.com, for advice on dating, marriage, parenting, romance and workplace issues. Or email him at [email protected]. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.