No Karmic Justice for the Nice Guy Dear John: Does what goes around really come around? I've been dumped hard several times! I'm beginning to believe that there is no justice in the dating game. Do women who dump nice guys really get their due later on? — Kicked to the Curb, in …Read more. Singles Don't Need Married Friends' Pity Dear John: Can you please tell married people to stop telling single people how lucky they are to be single? It is the most insulting thing they could say! I don't know why they think it's great to come back to an empty home, have no one to share …Read more. Ice-Breaker Help Needed Dear John: Two girlfriends and I are having a party next month. Each girl is supposed to bring a guy who is a good friend and, best yet, potential boyfriend material for the other girls. Can you give us a few pointers for conversation openers? …Read more. Happy at Home, Unsure about Moving in Dear John: I'm a 57-year-old widow. I've met someone who is 10 years older than me. I enjoy "Stephen's" company, and we have a lot in common. He now wants me to move in with him, but I have a house that is completely paid for, and I enjoy …Read more.more articles
Friend Lost Husband in Tragic Accident
Dear John, My friend Susie recently lost her husband in a tragic accident. Since then, Susie has been chasing everyone else's husband, lying and causing fights. I know that Susie is in pain, but she talks as if she is actually trying to catch one of these guys, and she has most of them wrapped around her finger. How can I help her? —Worried, in Cincinnati, Ohio
Dear Worried, Strong relationships aren't going to crumble because of overt flirting. If these guys are looking for trouble, they'll find it, with or without Susie. At the same time, Susie has forgotten that friendships are built on trust, and right now her actions are not trustworthy. They are a cry for help.
Meet with her alone. Tell her that you love her, as do your other friends, and that everyone realizes that she is in a lot of pain, but her actions are jeopardizing friendships. Suggest that she consider grief counseling. Be prepared to give her the name of a local support group or counselor. The rest is up to Susie. If she is ready to move beyond her grief and anger, she now knows she has the love and support of her friends to do so
Dear John, I met this beautiful woman and everything was OK until I offered her a drink.
To make a long story short, she didn't call me the next day, or the next week. Finally, I called her. She's not interested! Do I have any chance of winning her back? —Frustrated, in Newport Beach, Calif.
Dear Frustrated, She gave you a message, loud and clear: she'd prefer to be around a guy who doesn't drink. Considering her past experience, this is understandable. Knowing this, the decision is now yours. If your feelings are deep enough for a lasting commitment, be the man she wants. Otherwise, you won't be attractive to her. Then again, if casual drinking is part of who you are, find someone who doesn't mind. Otherwise, you'll resent her for pushing you in that direction, and that wouldn't be fair to either of you.
2013 John Gray's Mars Venus Advice. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write John in care of this newspaper, or by email at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous, and will be paraphrased.
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