Dear John: My husband and I are having a baby next month. I'm looking forward to this blessed event, except for one thing: both my mother and my mother-in-law want to be in the delivery room with us.

We will be delivering in one of the hospital's cozy birthing suites. Besides the doctor and nurses, we will also have a doula there, so it's going to be a tight fit. Whereas I had invited my mom, I now feel I should rescind the invitation because it's the reason my mother-in-law feels she has to be there, too — with her video camera. Frankly, my reason for saying no is that she constantly chatters and that would make me a nervous wreck. What's your advice? — Blessed Event, in Atlanta, Ga.

Dear Blessed Event: I agree with you that whom you have around you at this very important time in your life is up to you. That said, if you feel that rescinding the invitation to your mother and pushing back on your mother-in-law will cause hurt feelings, allow the doctor to be the fall guy. My guess is that you won't get any pushback there. In fact, I'm sure all doctors would prefer this "more the merrier" trend had run its course and that families congregate when mothers and their newborns are beyond the stress of delivery and all smiles again.

Dear John: I'm involved in a relationship with a man named Peter. Unfortunately, he seems to have a bad drinking problem, although he won't acknowledge this. Peter feels tremendous guilt, from his father's battle with Alzheimer's, and the distant relationship he has with his children from a broken marriage. He says he loves me and wants to marry me, but I always seem to be last on person on his list. He doesn't call for several days at a time. When he does call, he'll say he's with his children or father, but he's not; he's sitting in a bar. I was in an 18-year marriage that was mentally abusive. I really care about this guy, but it's a situation where my heart tells me one thing and my mind something else. I think I know what the answer should be, but I just need someone else to put this in perspective for me. — Seeking Straight Answers, in Philadelphia, Pa.

Dear Straight Answers: Here it is: Peter may be feeling down about his troubles, but he won't find the answers he's looking for at the bottom of an empty whiskey glass. You know that. Deep down inside, so does he. You may have tried to tell him this, but unless he is willing to accept this and do something about it, nothing will change, and yes, you'll be wasting your time trying to make him into something that he is not yet ready to be.

The time has come to say good-bye. If you're in the wrong relationship, getting out of it frees you to be ready when the right relationship comes along. And you don't want to miss out on that opportunity. Sure, there's always the possibility that he may realize he's lost you and this may finally be the catalyst for his change. Still, I'd suggest that you don't wait around to find out when or if that ever happens.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." Visit his website, http://www.marsvenus.com, for advice on dating, marriage, parenting, romance and workplace issues. Or e-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.