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When Dad/Gramps Just Ain't Interested
Dear Margo: By his choice, my father-in-law, "Herman," has had little to do with my wonderful family. He is a negative, toxic individual whom I don't trust given his manipulative and abusive behavior. When his wife finally moved out some …Read more.
When You Think You've Heard Everything ... You Haven't
Dear Margo: I have a doozy for you. My first cousin, "Lily," is a living, breathing waste of space. This girl had her first child at 15, her second at 17. Subsequently, she's had two more. When her first child was 4 months old, Lily's …Read more.
Beyond Tasteless, Not To Mention Tacky
Dear Margo: Can you give me some guidance regarding how to respond to a strange request? A friend we see occasionally got engaged six months ago. He's quite the social butterfly and has a ton of acquaintances. A couple of months ago, his fiancee …Read more.
Marrying a Guy in the Mormon Closet. Oy.
Dear Margo: My wife's 30-year-old daughter is quite immature emotionally and sexually. She has never had a boyfriend. Her father's family is Jewish, but she converted to Mormonism at 18. She has a close friend who is gay, also a Mormon, so he cannot …Read more.
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Why Choose To Feel Rotten?Dear Margo: My father was unwilling to support and nurture his family and never gave my mother the love and care she deserved. When I was 13, she finally kicked him out. He moved across the country, and I haven't seen him since. I wasn't really upset, but rather relieved; we are so much better off without him. I'm now 23 and recently married. I knew my father wouldn't come to the wedding. He's much too irresponsible and selfish to save up money for a flight and hotel ... even with 20 months' notice. In fact, he couldn't even be troubled to send a card. After the wedding, I decided that I had started a new chapter in my life and didn't want him involved. (His idea of "involved" is calling every couple of months to discuss the weather.) I haven't answered any of his calls, but I'm starting to feel guilty, although I have no use for a father who can't be bothered to attend his only daughter's wedding (or high-school graduation or college graduation). What should I do: Suck it up, or be the bigger person, answer his calls and make small talk? Or stick to my guns and move on with my life? — Feeling Fatherless in Pennsylvania Dear Feel: Let's see, 23 minus 13 is 10. It sounds as though you have been comfortable for a decade with the reality that yours is no kind of father at all. I am probably alone in the advice world in being in favor of estrangements, but you need to do what feels the best for you. I have a hunch it is not making small talk with a man you have no respect for. As I've said over and over, being a blood relative is an accident of DNA, and people should have a choice about whom they include in their lives. He has made his, so you needn't be on a guilt trip. "Sticking to your guns" was an interesting choice of words — and that is what I would recommend. — Margo, preferably Yes, There Are Christians in Scandinavia Dear Margo: I am writing in the hope of getting some advice regarding my faith. Dear Bjorn: Interestingly, I have a good friend who is Danish and living in Copenhagen. She tells me the state church is Protestant, with roughly 1 percent of the population being Catholic. Her experience is that most children get christened (in the state church) and later, at age 14 or 15, are confirmed in their faith by the local vicar. She e-mailed that the church doesn't play a very big role in daily life, but that "I think our society has a general belief in God, though polls show that fewer and fewer attend church on a regular basis. Religion is taught as a subject throughout high school. If you compare us to some of the ultra-conservative, anti-abortion factions in the U.S., you might conclude that we are an atheist society. However, one extreme to the other." It is hard to believe that Protestants and Catholics in Scandinavia do not accept Jesus. I suggest you go to a local church and become involved. My friend tells me there are young Christian societies. My instinct tells me you need new friends. — Margo, faithfully *** Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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