Five's a Crowd Dear Margo: I read the letter from the empty nesters who were happy on their own. My situation is exactly the opposite. I am not happy, and I am not alone. My three adult sons are all still living at home. The middle one is a college graduate and …Read more. What To Do About "Old" Kids Dear Margo: My girlfriend was in one other serious relationship aside from ours. It lasted three years and ended three years before ours began. She keeps in touch with the ex because they work together a few days a week, and also my girlfriend was …Read more. Be Well This will be my last column as Dear Margo. I have been giving advice for 15 years — first as Dear Prudence and then under my own name. I have been writing for newspapers for 45 years. The time feels right to retire from deadline journalism. I …Read more. When Things Don't Look Quite Right Dear Margo: I'm 60, and my boyfriend is a few years younger. He recently moved in with me. His job requires him to meet with people after their workday. I know he really is doing this on some nights, because I have seen people enter his workplace. …Read more.more articles
Of Relatives and High Horses
Dear Margo: My family had another miserable Christmas dinner at my sister's house. I'm 55, and I have two brothers, two sisters and an elderly mother, 78. My elder sister insists on having holiday dinners at her house, even though she always seems miserable during the event. This sister and her husband are professionals and are the highest earners in the family. Her children ignore me and my family, as well as one of my brothers and the other sister. If they say anything, it is something rude or snarky. I am a college-educated woman with a good job. I am well-traveled. We own our own home and are financially in good shape with retirement on the horizon. We always come over well-dressed, and we're well-spoken. And we always bring something. In other words, neither we nor my other siblings have done anything to deserve the silent or rude treatment that we get.
My question is: How do we handle this situation? If it weren't for my mom, I wouldn't hesitate to simply skip these events, since we all live within 25 miles of one another and can see one another whenever we want. I don't believe that talking to my sister would be helpful since we've never been close, and she has looked down her nose at me since childhood, regardless of my accomplishments. I have thought of having my daughter's small family over and then visiting Mom afterward for coffee or simply declaring a "holiday from the holidays" and going somewhere for a vacation. I'm sure that other people out there are going through similar circumstances. If there's a better solution, I'm willing to listen. -- Second Sib in S.C.
Dear Sec: Too bad about the pretentious and rude children, who sound as though they've inherited the views of their mother. With snooty behavior like that, they are going to have trouble at more places than their parents' dinner table.
Dear Margo: I suspect you do not, but most people work in an office. Wherever there are different personalities, there are all sorts of things you'd love to tell your boss — anonymously. I thought you and your readers would like to know about a free new service at tellyourbossanything.com that helps you do just that.
Think of this website as a virtual version of the classic suggestion box. Upon signing up, an employee is prompted to enter their own email address, their boss's email address and a thoughtful message about what is bugging them. The site then delivers said message to said manager, who can review the complaint and reply in kind, all without knowing who they're actually talking to. — Hope This Is Helpful
Dear Help: You are right on the money about there being workplace troubles galore, and often the person who would like to report the difficulty feels unable to do so for a number of reasons. Sometimes the trouble has to do with a relative who is employed, the boss's secret or not-so-secret romantic interest, or an employee who somehow has ingratiated him or herself with the boss despite poor performance, just to name a few possibilities on a list that is endless. (And you are correct that I do not work in an office — which is a good thing, because my "office attire" is a nightgown and robe.) Thanks for the good suggestion. — Margo, remedially
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via the online form at www.creators.com/dearmargo. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
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