Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: I am a 32-year-old woman, happily married, and the mother of two beautiful children — a 4-year-old girl and a son nearly 2 years of age. I have always known that I was an adopted child. A few months ago, I decided to search for my birth parents and get some answers to the questions that have bothered me for many years.

After several months of searching and considerable dollars spent, I finally located my birth mother. I wrote her a long letter and enclosed photos of my children and myself. You cannot imagine the heartache I felt when she returned the mailing unopened with a note asking me to please leave her alone.

I then launched another search and located my birth father. (I learned that he was in graduate school when I was conceived.) I was thrilled when he agreed to meet with me. My joy was short-lived. He called back the following day to say he was sorry but the meeting was off because his wife was opposed to it. It seems their four children do not know about me, and they believe it is best if we "leave things as they are."

I then located a cousin on my birth mother's side. She was not pleased to hear from me and asked that I never call her again. I am disappointed and frustrated. Please, Ann, tell me what to do. — Alison in Utica, N.Y.

Dear Alison: In some instances, an out-of-wedlock child represents a part of a woman's life that she would like to forget. I have long urged adopted children not to try to find their birth mother, saying, "The woman who raised you is your mother. Accept that fact, and don't go around disrupting lives."

A search, however, is OK if both parties are agreeable. The National Council for Adoption in Washington, D.C., has a national registry for such searches, for cases where a medical history needs to be checked out. But to those who are simply inquisitive, I say leave things alone.

Dear Ann Landers: I am a neighbor who is aware of the following situation: A 12-year-old seventh-grade girl has started to enjoy the attention of a boy in her class. At first, they had hour-long talks on the phone. After a few weeks, her parents began to treat him as if he were one of her girlfriends. He is invited to spend Friday or Saturday night with them. The bedroom he stays in is next to hers. Her parents' bedroom is on the other side of the house.

Her parents did not know this boy or his family until this relationship started a few weeks ago. Any advice? — Concerned Friend, No City, No State

Dear Concerned Friend: The advice is for you: MYOB.

Feeling pressured to have sex? How informed are you? Write for Ann Landers' booklet "Sex and the Teenager." Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Teens, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)