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Jumping the Relationship Gun
Dear Annie: Last month, an old boyfriend contacted me. I hadn't seen "Bud" in 30 years. We had a wonderful conversation. I visited him at his home. He even sent me a large sum of money to help pay off a mortgage bill. We now talk at least …Read more.
Trusting Cheaters
Dear Annie: I'm in my early 20s and have been dating "Aidan" for a year. He attends college two hours away. He doesn't socialize much and stresses a lot about his grades. His only real friend is "Cara," a girl we went to high …Read more.
Bare Naked Mommies
Dear Annie: I am becoming excessively annoyed by a new trend I'm seeing with my friends who have recently become parents — the "naked mommy."
I'm 27 and have not yet had children. Several of my friends are having their second or …Read more.
The Long Trip to Tenuous
Dear Annie: My father and I have never had the best relationship. He was domineering, controlling and verbally abusive to me as a teenager, and as a result, I rebelled and did things specifically to irritate him. Several times, he kicked me out of …Read more.
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Not Doing Their Fair Share
Dear Annie: I am in a relationship with a widower. He is a thoughtful person and works two jobs. His two adult sons live in his home with their girlfriends. Neither of the boys pays rent. Nor do they buy groceries or cleaning supplies. They never offer to take their father out to dinner or do anything special for him. Their father buys their vehicles and pays their insurance.
The house is in shambles. The boys' only responsibility is to take the trash to the dump and mow the yard in the summer. They do this grudgingly and not very well. The boys show little respect for their father. They leave beer bottles and dirty dishes all over the kitchen and their shoes, dirty clothes and trash all over the house. No one cleans a bathroom or vacuums a floor. They are busy working out, doing what they want with their friends or going out drinking. One of the girlfriends is always broke and looking for a handout, but she has money to get hammered every weekend. She doesn't lift a finger around the house and has the nerve to tell my boyfriend what he needs to buy to make her more comfortable.
My boyfriend thinks that this is normal behavior and that I am the one with the problem. He believes it is his responsibility to take care of them, because they don't have "good" jobs that pay a lot of money. He would never kick them out.
We don't live together and never will under these circumstances. My boyfriend reads your column every day. Will you tell him I'm not the only one who thinks this situation stinks? — Kick 'Em Out!
Dear Kick: Some parents have such soft spots for their children that they become enablers, allowing the kids to postpone adulthood. This is unfortunate for the children. They never learn to support themselves or manage their money and are forever dependent on others to take care of them. However, these are not your children, and how your boyfriend chooses to deal with them is only your business if you marry him. Right now, we don't recommend it.
Dear Annie: I have been at my job for more than 20 years and will be retiring soon. Co-workers have been asking whether I would like a party and gifts. I've made it clear that I want absolutely nothing and politely suggested that they donate to the local food bank.
I don't like these people. I will not "keep in touch." I am happy to leave this miserable job. So if they give me a cake or gifts, is it OK to simply express my thanks, or do I have to send a thank-you note? All gifts will end up in the trash, and I have no intention of participating in any celebration. — New York Grouch
Dear Grouch: Verbal thanks are sufficient for an office cake or party. If you are given a gift, however, a thank-you note is in order. We think you can manage it, especially because it's likely to be the last communication you will have with these people. It never hurts to depart on a gracious note.
Dear Annie: Our experience as an over-50 couple has been entirely different from that of the couple who were having the problems with intimacy.
When my husband and I retired, we both got back in shape after 40 years behind desks. I felt better and younger than I did at 25. I took up belly-dancing, and even though I can't seem to make it past the beginner level, my husband thinks it is very sexy. I try to build up his confidence in the bedroom even when things are less than perfect, and he does the same for me. We both have loads of fun trying new things, and after this many years, there is absolutely no pressure to perform. Sex after 50 is awesome. — Flirtin' in Florida
Dear Florida: Good for you! We love your attitude.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM
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Comments
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39 Comments | Post Comment
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LW2: Nothing like standing up and telling people off after working 20 years with them. Tell them all how much you will never miss a single soul and that your last 20 years, except for the pay check, were the worst years of your life.
Yep. Tell your boss you want no party and that all money that would have been spent needs to go to the food shelf. If not, save your last vacation day for what would have been party day.
A friend of mine just did this in Sept. She scheduled necessary surgery that had been on hold and had enough to cover her vacation days and sick days left when she retired. Her last day of sick leave, vacation was the day her retirement took effect. She wanted no party as she was the kind that wanted to be on the QT. It worked just fine and they sent the amount to the food shelf. She had no rift with her co-workers---just hard to say goodbye and it worked out fine.
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To all you east of MN--THE COLD IS COMING!! Canada is sending it down in artic breathes. here it is 11;15 pm, Wed night--and at -31 degrees F. Already school notices are going to parents phones and online for 2 hour late start in the morning. Could be alot of cancellations by then if it does not warm up a bit. Again, last week had 60 degree F temps. DANG.
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LW1: LADY RUN!!!!!! It won't change, he has not a clue. And the kids will have support til the day HE DIES.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Joyce/MN
Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:15 PM
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LW1-
Pick up your feet and run, lady, run like a BAT OUTA HELL!
We've been through this, and more than once yet. I understand that you care but, sadly, it is not your mission in life to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. If your "boyfriend" wants to play unappreciated doormat and resident milking cow to his sons and their girlfriends as if he was the mother of four toddlers, there is nothing you can do to fix it. He is a willing victim.
I'm glad to hear you will never live with him under these circumstances. Because if you were stupid enough to move in, you would only become another slave to the whims and demands of four overgrown brats. Your wonderful Romeo would demand it because he thinks this is normal behaviour. Just the fact that he does is a huge red flag as to his crazy headspace - he's as bad as they are, which is perhaps a hint that the rotten apples din't fall far from the tree.
Get out of this hornet's nest as fast as you can. He has no intention of changing anything to the present modus operandi, you therefore have no possible future with him. The more you wait, the more difficult and painful extricating yourself will be. Don't procrastinate.
LW2-
"It never hurts to depart on a gracious note."
The Annies are right about that. As tempting as burning your bridges may be, you can never be sure of who you will need in the future. Never say, 'Fountain, I will never drink of your water".
Comment: #2
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:54 PM
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LW1 - Run as fast as you can from this man, his sons, and their girlfriends. If you don't, you'll end up becoming another doormat for them to walk all over and use. He's not going to change the way things are - he thinks this is normal and nothing you say will change his mind. Maybe things will change if the house gets filthy enough that he gets tired of it, but I wouldn't count on it (I've seen it happen before). If this is not the way you want to spend the rest of your life, break it off with him and find someone else who either doesn't have kids or who isn't a doormat to their kids.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Vesta
Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:41 PM
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Re LW2: I'm not sure what caused you to be so bitter about your career choice that led you to despise your colleagues to the point that gifts from them would automatically go into the trash....but it seems that *THEY* LIKE *YOU* and want to give you a fond farewell. Maybe you could get over your bitterness for a moment and accept the fact that not everything that came out of your work was negative. Force yourself to accept a cake and a few gifts, manage some thank-yous and perhaps even a handshake or hug or two. You may never speak to any of them again. You also might eventually find yourself wondering what happened to your old team...at which point, giving everyone the finger on your way out would appear to be a mistake in hindsight.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Bear
Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:55 AM
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LW1 - I think Lise nailed it. This guy doesn't want to be helped. He wants to be slaves to his sons and their girlfriends. So let him be it. And I would break up with him. Even if you don't live with him, I can see him trying to drag you into it. Watch Judge Judy and see how many women on there were duped into giving their boyfriend some money.
LW2 - Again, Lise nailed it. You should never burn a bridge. No matter how bad it is. I worked with the rudest, most obnoxious bully of a jerk less than 2 years ago. I refuse to ever work with him again. But on my last day, I didn't tell him off. He extended his hand, I shook it and said goodbye. While I will never work with him again, I did not want to get a reputation in my field, which is easy to get. I know you said you're retiring, but you never know what the future holds. Smile, say thank you and then leave.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Michelle
Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:57 AM
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Re: LW1, it's sad, because it could be a reaction to his wife's death that led this man to coddle his sons in this way. But he's not actually helping them, because he's preventing them from learning valuable lessons about responsibility, respect, and standing on your own two feet.
But, I agree with everyone else: for LW1, this isn't a good sign for a long-term relationship, and she should start to disengage.
LW2: Wow, I have to wonder at just how bad your job was that you would stay there for 20 years under such conditions. Or maybe it's you? No matter how little you care for these people, 20 years is a long time, and it seems odd that you can't simply suck it up and be gracious one last time -- especially knowing you won't have to see these people ever again. Having a grand dramatic moment where you tell everyone off won't really do anything -- all those people you tell off will simply gossip about you after you've gone and say things like "wow, who knew Frank was such an a-hole?" or "do you think Evelyn has mental problems?"
How sad for you that you've spent 20 years of your life in such conditions. It makes me wonder why didn't you look for another job??? I cannot imagine spending 20 years working in a place where I was so irritated by every single person I worked with, it's almost inconceivable. I hope you at least got a good salary and benefits out of such a sad situation!
LW3: Woo-hoo! You give us all hope for the future. Love your attitude!
Comment: #6
Posted by: Mike H
Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:12 AM
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LW1--"Neither of the boys pays rent. Nor do they buy groceries or cleaning supplies. They never offer to take their father out to dinner or do anything special for him. Their father buys their vehicles and pays their insurance." Good grief another letter from an innocent second spouse of a parent who has over indulged, pampered and spoiled his children into utter uselessness. Yeah dad, it's perfectly normal to be an adult who gets every single thing handed to him so he can party and carry on without a care in the world. This man obviously isn't going to ever choose a wife over his precious "children" so my advice to you is to take a good long look at the carnage being wrought in your boyfriend's home and see your future with this man.
LW2--"I don't like these people. I will not "keep in touch." I am happy to leave this miserable job." Wow, bitter much? The fact that your coworkers want to throw you a retirement party or buy you gifts indicates that they liked working with you in spite of the fact that secretly you hate their guts! Perhaps bottling up your feelings for twenty years instead of expressing them like a healthy person and dealing with the fallout has poisoned your heart. Personally I think it's quite sad for you.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Chris
Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:55 AM
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LW1: You scay " Will you tell him I'm not the only one who thinks this situation stinks?" Add my voice to the "I think it stinks" column. You have to accept that this is not going to change because of anything you do: he has to be the one to take the initative and if he does throw them out, you will rightly be seen as the catalyst for the change in the household and his sons will make your life miserable. Not sure what else to say here that's positive, my advice is to leave the relationship and look for someone with similar vatlues to your own.
LW2: Sadly, I knoiw quite a few people like you and they anger me. First of all, do you realize pensions are basically a thing of the past? are you getting one? then be grateful!!! Secondly, you have not been the victim of layoffs. Do you know that most of the rest of the country has lived in a state of fear for the last 4 years that they would lose their jobs and that some of us HAVE? You have had a job, a steady job for 20 years. Be grateful for that.
You sound like a curmudgeon and I had to laugh at how your letter was signed. You ARE a grouch. And noone likes a grouch. They likely didn't lay you off years ago because of your age and seniority and are just as grateful to see you go as you are to go. They aren't giving you a goodbye party, they're giving you a good riddance party!
PS: People like you are so detrimental to office morale. At one company I worked at years ago, about 1/4 of the workforce was like you. Getting them to do anything was like pulling teeth. Forget any kind of motivation. They came in late (sometimes up to two hours late) and left early. They scoffed at people who wanted to WORK. The company couldn't fire them becuase they had tried and been sued for age descrimination, so anyone over 50 was basically safe and they knew it. they were just waiting it out until retirement and I used to joke that there should be a whole division of the company for these people so that the rest of us could get some work done. Often they took extended leaves of absence and we all breathed again.
You ask how you should behave, I would send at sincere thank you for them giving you a job and putting up with your crap for 20 years. Sheesh.
LW3: One of my best friends belly dances and her class performs in the local parades. It's so awesome, one of the ladies in her class is 90! Great job and wonderful letter. Keep up the good work!
Comment: #8
Posted by: nanchan
Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:12 AM
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LW1: Your boyfriend sees this as "normal" because it's the "normal" he's created, probably because it was easier to work two jobs and do the household work himself than it was to be home and fight with the boys over doing chores; I'd guess he was trying to be two parents to them after their mom's death, and just kept going. And of course, his wife's death meant he had no co-parent to either help get them grow into responsible adults OR call him on it when he chose to retreat into busywork rather than engage with his growing boys.
I wouldn't give up before trying a different approach. You've pointed out his sons' flaws, and how they negatively affect your boyfriend, contributing to his overwork, and he has become defensive, understandably. Instead of voicing your concern for your boyfriend, position it for his sons: what's motivating them to take the steps now to GET those good jobs? What if something happened to their dad -- will his boys be able to do their wash and press their clothes so they'll look ready for a job interview? Will they be able to cook and clean up the kitchen afterward so that they don't have to spend all their money on takeout? Do they know how to make a budget and stick to one?
Ask your BF to what extent his parents provided for HIM when he was their age, and see what that turns up.
Acknowledge that it's tough to play the heavy -- just as it was when the kids had to go for vaccinations or wanted something beyond the family budget or brought home abysmal grades -- and it's hard to change. But see if he doesn't think that good results do take effort.
I agree that you shouldn't marry the guy or move toward that now; that would be a recipe for disaster. But I think your caring, thoughtful, hard-working guy has potential to shape up. Better to try this conversation, IMO, than to skip out without looking back.
Comment: #9
Posted by: hedge
Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:27 AM
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With all the letters we've seen about horrible co-workers and bosses, this person's biggest gripe is that people want to throw her a party and give her gifts when she retires? Anytime you want to trade problems, let me know.
Comment: #10
Posted by: TJ
Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:33 AM
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@hedge, very nice point re: the coddling dad. I think I was afraid that the topic was now too touchy to bring up at all between the LW and her boyfriend, but I think you have it right, it's probably worth one more approach from the direction you suggest, for everyone's sake.
Comment: #11
Posted by: Mike H
Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:18 AM
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Re LW2: I fully advocate not burning bridges with your co-workers; I guarantee that you will be surprised at how that will catch up with you if you do. And if they insist on throwing you a party and giving you gifts, please be gracious about it. It really will be only a moment out of your life.
That said, I am of the opinion that it is rude to force gifts and parties on people who have specifically requested to not have them. I have a co-worker who insists on giving me chistmas gifts despite my clearly asking her not to. I now own several christmas themed mugs that I will never use because she refuses to listen to my request of 'no gifts please.' I'm always gracious, but it makes me feel as if she doesnt give a crap about what I want because her desires to give is more important.
Re LW1: This man has clearly stated that he thinks you are the one with the problem, and he is right in that he apparently has no issue with living this way. Only you do and it's his life to lead as he sees fit. Ok, I have an issue with it too, but again, not mine to live with. This falls under the heading of believe what he says and stop telling him how to live or trying to change him. You should love someone for who they are today, not for who you think they could be in the future "if only they change..."
Comment: #12
Posted by: kristen
Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:50 AM
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LW1 - I'm with those who say this situation will never change and your best option is to get out. It appears to me the boyfriend is comfortable with the arrangements as is, especially if he's defensive over an outside opinion.
If you stay, nothing will change. If you leave, nothing will change either, but you'll be more at peace. Your boyfriend may be one of those that has to learn the hard way, if he learns at all...
Oh, and take it from me, his "children" getting jobs doesn't guarantee they'll move out. My ex still lives with Mama despite the fact that he's held the same job for over 20 years and his income could support him and my daughter on their own just fine. He simply has NO motivation to GTFO.
BTW, my ex-MIL is fine with it that way - she apparently has a serious conniption every time X talks about moving out. Some apron strings really are indestructible.
Then he wonders why our marriage fell apart. Gee :-)
LW2 - You really don't want a party or gifts when you leave? Here's your magic formula: Clip or print out this column, and leave it in the break room for anyone to read. I guarantee once everyone figures out who wrote your letter - and they will - you'll get your wish. I'm betting nothing will kill party plans faster than surprising everyone by telling them after keeping your mouth shut for a couple decades how much you truly loathe them and your workplace environment.
Outside of that, I echo the sentiments of those BTL. You sound very bitter and ungrateful. Many folks out there would give their right arm right now to have a job that lasted 20 WEEKS, let alone 20 years.
LW3 - Yeeeeee-haw!!!
Comment: #13
Posted by: PS
Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:55 AM
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Hey, the LW1 from yesterday commented at the end of yesterday's thread. Did anyone see it?
Comment: #14
Posted by: jar8818
Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:26 AM
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LW2, let me get this straight. You consider your job to be a misery, you can't stand the people you work with, you plan to throw any gifts they give you into the garbage, and you don't want any contact with these people ever again. And yet you're so concerned about whether these people should receive a verbal expression of thanks instead of a written thank you note that you actually wrote to an advice columnist about it? Huh? And lol! You do realize that it probably took more time and effort to write to the Annies than it would have to just write the thank you note, right? But besides, you clearly care nothing for these people, so why would you even care about doing what's right?
And LW3, if you're enjoying sex that much, then you clearly must not have gone through menopause yet!
Comment: #15
Posted by: Jane
Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:34 AM
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LW1 - I hope you're keeping this casual and keeping your options open. This man is obviously taken. He has 4 mistresses; his 2 sons and their 2 girlfriends. I hope the sex is good b'cuz aint nothin else gonna happen here.
Comment: #16
Posted by: Rick
Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:52 AM
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LW2 - You're certainly entitled to your opinion about your co-workers but my money says the party they throw will be the day after you leave. Don't let the door hit you . . . . . .
Comment: #17
Posted by: Rick
Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:56 AM
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LW3 - Sex after 50 is good. That's why I have it with as many people as possible. It's not pretty being a ho but it is fun. :-)
Comment: #18
Posted by: Rick
Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:57 AM
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WITH THE THREAD FROM YESTERDAY, I THINK DLW's anger he feels is IF YOU DON'T WANT ME, then leave me alone and what am I to do if she keeps this up.
It comes back to total block, decide how to cleanse her from your mind, body, soul. You will heal faster. But as suggested, if you are still angry don't start a new relationship until you are over that as well. No girl wants the baggage from before. Consider that person dead, buried, never to resurrect.
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LW1 refers to adult BF as a kind, considerate, hard working, etc. She is blind cause from what she writes he is a coward, doormat, blames things on others so he HAS TO give his kids what THEY want. He is also selfish since he chooses not to do anything to fix the mess but expects any female in his life to suck it up and step up for the abuse.
As I said RUN.
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Dang cold here, my sewer pipes taking away the shower water, washing machine and dishwasher VERY SLOW--keep checking for back flow. 4 years ago it froze (-60 windchill for 3 days) and we had to move to a hotel cause of back flow. Hubby had his knee done 6 weeks prior so you know who spent all that time cleaning up! Sucked up water with OLD carpet cleaning machine and carried out to side door 500 gal of basement water. Thank goodness the toilet sewer was on another line out. Not finished but full basement got new in replacements. I keep taking teakettles of water down and dumping into out drains. My pipes in this 100 yr old house are spit-spot--had them run a camera down to video. Froze out in the boulevard. We have no snow, so it freezes deeper.
WHRE IS A HEAT WAVE WHEN YOU NEED IT!!!
Today I am 3 sweaters and a blanket shawl Joyce. IT will take at least 30 min of running the car IF I have to use it. May not go out to swim this afternoon!!! Many schools around here were either cancelled or 2 hrs late.
Comment: #19
Posted by: Joyce/MN
Thu Jan 19, 2012 9:39 AM
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A lot of good advice by both the Annies (!) and BTL. Just a couple of observations...
LW1 -- I agree with everyone who has told you to get out of this relationship, but I also just want to add that it drives me crazy when someone writes in and says, "hopefully so-and-so will read this..." Even if your BF reads the Annies everyday, he is not going to recognize himself in the letter, and even if by some miracle he DOES recognize himself, he's not suddenly going to change his ways because the Annies agreed with you. I am hoping against hope that you have had an ACTUAL CONVERSATION with your BF about this, not merely mumbled a few snide remarks here and there. But if you're relying on him reading an anonymous letter in an advice column, I'm betting a REAL dialogue has never occurred. I still think you should run, I'm just sayin'...
LW2 -- Again, I agree with everyone who has said you shouldn't be burning any bridges. But I also wanted to note that in the 20 years that you were miserable, did you ever once consider trying to find another job (the economy hasn't been in the tank for 20 years). Did you ever once consider that maybe the person making you miserable was YOURSELF? Did you ever once try to make friends or at least improve the situation? There's no way to tell from your letter, but I'm having a very hard time believing that every single person at your workplace is a complete jerk and that you are peaches and cream.
LW3 -- Just be happy the Annies didn't try to rain on your parade by suggesting that you must not have gone through real menopause, yet, and that you had better enjoy yourself for as long as possible, since you will INEVITABLY end up not wanting sex in the not-too-distant future. (Sorry, folks, I just could help myself!)
Comment: #20
Posted by: Lisa
Thu Jan 19, 2012 10:29 AM
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Re LW#2----Sorry, but I actually have a bit of sympathy for him/her, having been in the same situation once. I worked with a bunch of catty, superficial, back-stabbing people that shut you out unless you wanted to join in badmouthing whoever they were gossiping about.
Their interests were talking about their new shoes/makeup, discussing in detail everything that happened at the gym they all went to after work, and congregating at someone's desk to visit and do anything they could to get out of doing their work, while running to management to complain about how overloaded they were and trying to get management to make someone else finish their assignments. Being that person many times, I didn't have much love for any of them. It is REALLY hard when you don't fit in because of different interests in your non-working hours and get made to pay for it by being snubbed.
I know it sounds silly to insist they were ALL that way, and occasionally we got someone who wasn't, but they got driven out. I stayed way longer than I wanted to because I needed something with equal pay/benefits lined up first to take care of my family.
When I left it was all I could do to lie through my teeth and tell them I would miss them, though I did so for the sake of future business contacts which I might have to have with the company in my new job. I also did as one poster suggested, and called in 'sick' the last week before I left, did not want the party and good-luck cards any more than they actually wanted to give it.
I got cards and small gifts, and yes, I thanked them, but none of it was sincere, and it would have been more honest to just tell me goodbye and leave it at that.
The LW might just be a stuck-up, better-than-you person, but in actuality, so might her co-workers. I know from experience both are possible.
Comment: #21
Posted by: jennylee
Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:16 AM
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LW2 ~ Maybe they aren't giving him a retirement party but a "my goodness we didn't think he'd ever leave" party.
Comment: #22
Posted by: horrorfan
Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:46 AM
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@BTL -- you probably already guessed the typo in my post about LW3 -- that was supposed to be "I just couldn't help myself!"
@jennylee -- I hear you, and you're right, it is possible that LW2 deserves more compassion and may well have been in a situation at work where everyone else was the problem. BUT, I have to say that your post sounds a lot more sane than the letter from LW2. That could be because LW2 is still too close to the situation, whereas you have developed some distance from it, but honestly, I have a feeling that the real difference between you and LW2 is that you really weren't part of the problem at the office, while LW2 was.
But regardless, I would actually recommend AGAINST calling in sick for that last week, even if the person in question is retiring and doesn't ever expect to have to work again. Calling in sick for that last week really leaves people in the lurch, even if they suspected you might do it, and people definitely remember it. And you'd be surprised at how fate can turn on you, and next thing you know, you're begging for that job back, or someone you screwed on your last day ends up being in a position to help you -- or NOT -- in some other aspect of your life.
Comment: #23
Posted by: Lisa
Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:27 PM
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@jennylee, sure, but.... you didn't stay in that job for 20 years, though, did you??? That's the icing on the cake for me, that *everyone* else was so awful AND the LW stayed for 20 years. Seems weird.
@Rick, you're my hero.
Comment: #24
Posted by: Mike H
Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:54 PM
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Re: Mike H - Aww shucks :-)
Comment: #25
Posted by: Rick
Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:28 PM
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Re: Mike H - Aww shucks :-)
Comment: #26
Posted by: Rick
Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:28 PM
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It's a cloudy, gloomy day today. But when @Lise and @Chris are on the same page, it's like a ray of sunshine! Thanks, you two smart, stubborn, opinionated people!
Comment: #27
Posted by: Carla
Thu Jan 19, 2012 2:04 PM
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For the woman dating the widower, I think he is feeling horrible that his wife is passed away, and that his kids are the only connection he has right now. Poor fella. But he's doing his sons no favors. Just make sure you take him out for a good time, and be a comfort to him when he complains about them.
As for the bitter person who is leaving his job, for crying out loud! Enjoy the party, and be gracious for everything. It will probably be the best day you ever had on the job. If you are so angry about it, take the gifts they give you and donate them. If you are still angry, take what is left of the cake home and watch it swirl down the drain in the garbage disposal.
And for the horny 50 year olds: Good for you!!!! I took up belly dancing, too, and it's a great workout. When I got slimmer, I told my relatives that I was literally shaking my ass off!
Comment: #28
Posted by: happymom
Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:09 PM
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For the woman dating the widower, I think he is feeling horrible that his wife is passed away, and that his kids are the only connection he has right now. Poor fella. But he's doing his sons no favors. Just make sure you take him out for a good time, and be a comfort to him when he complains about them.
As for the bitter person who is leaving his job, for crying out loud! Enjoy the party, and be gracious for everything. It will probably be the best day you ever had on the job. If you are so angry about it, take the gifts they give you and donate them. If you are still angry, take what is left of the cake home and watch it swirl down the drain in the garbage disposal.
And for the horny 50 year olds: Good for you!!!! I took up belly dancing, too, and it's a great workout. When I got slimmer, I told my relatives that I was literally shaking my ass off!
Comment: #29
Posted by: happymom
Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:09 PM
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@ Carla
Thanks for the vote of confidence. Actually, Lise and I agree quite often. It's just that when we disagree we tend to bring the absolute worst out of each other. I think we're both working on it!
Comment: #30
Posted by: Chris
Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:19 PM
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Re: Chris
Yes, we do tend to agree on many things. The worst from each other? Honey, you're quite gilding it. Except for the one single time, I don't indulge in name-calling like you do with me.
Comment: #31
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:30 PM
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To LW1 from yesterday: don't BLOCK your ex, UNFRIEND her ... from FB
Comment: #32
Posted by: melinda
Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:34 PM
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Re: melinda
If he blocks her, she won't even be able to see that he has an account in existence. It's much better than unfriending.
Comment: #33
Posted by: Paul
Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:19 PM
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Lise - you just couldn't take the high road could you re: Chris you stupid bully. By the way on yesterdays post correction: it's Brooklyn. You stupid idiot
Comment: #34
Posted by: vsmith
Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:50 PM
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you keep it up Lise! I know who you are! By the way love your post when you come home from a hard days work to THIS. To what Lise, you are coming home to nothing but your computer. You have the choice to read or ignore and have a REAL life. Up to you doll.
Comment: #35
Posted by: vsmith
Thu Jan 19, 2012 6:57 PM
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Sigh. Another bridge left unattended...........
Comment: #36
Posted by: Annies Fan
Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:05 AM
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Re: vsmith
Nastily picking on a typo and indulging in name-calling, you're not exactly taking the high road yourself...
Comment: #37
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:52 AM
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LW1: Why are you dating this loser? You should really ask yourself this - it's an important question.
LW2: Your unhappiness is your gift to yourself - I hope you've enjoyed it all these years. LOL
Comment: #38
Posted by: Diana
Sat Jan 21, 2012 2:19 PM
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I remember my last week at Community Credit Union. Their computer system was the worst. We didn't have a clue as to how much money customers had for about half of the hours that we were open. Frankly, I was surprised that people didn't close their accounts. We couldn't give them more than two hundred dollars maximum if the computers were down.
I finally had enough when a doctor came in to get money to buy medical supplies from his business account. Our system was down so much that his checks were bouncing. His vendors would only accept cash. When I couldn't give him what he needed, I finally decided that this job wasn't good enough for my risking innocent people's lives.
Oh, I made plenty of speeches my final week. I retold the doctor story ad nauseum. I also mentioned that the women regularly had to pick up their kids from daycare hours later than necessary because we were working off the system from 9 am to 9 pm. I did show up for my last day, but I missed the early morning meeting. The supervisor got on my case, and I said, "Fine. I'll just leave right now." They were so short-handed that she literally gave me all the money in her purse to keep on. Otherwise, she would have had to work the teller line.
About three months later, I ran into one of my former co-workers. I was delighted to hear that over one-third of Community Credit Union's work force quit because of what I said.
That job only lasted eight months. I did just fine after that. Letting off steam of a truly rotten job is the best medicine.
Comment: #39
Posted by: TheRichcraft
Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:26 PM
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