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Dog Bite Victim Needs More Than "Get Over It" To Get Over It

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Dear Annie: Five years ago, an encounter with a large, vicious dog put me in the ER and left me with lasting scars, physical and otherwise. I'm almost 20 now.

I can pet and play with small, quiet dogs, but larger ones strike panic in me. I cringe when I hear barking. I still have nightmares and sometimes feel phantom pains where I was attacked. Spending time with my parents' medium-sized dog doesn't help, especially since it has bitten people before, and my family still treats it like the best dog in the world.

I never got professional help, because I was told shortly after the attack that I needed to "get over it." I feel no one understands my fear because it's an American tradition to love dogs. Besides, I don't have money for therapy. What can I do? — Terrified

Dear Terrified: People who tell you to "get over it" do not understand the extent of the problem. Your fear is not irrational. You were viciously bitten, and such a trauma is difficult to overcome. The fact that you can pet and play with small dogs is quite an achievement, all considered. If you regularly encounter larger dogs and wish to work on your fear, please know that low-cost therapy is available. Ask your doctor, and check your church and United Way. You can even search online for tips on overcoming phobias.

Dear Annie: I own property out of state. I use it mostly in the summer, but it's checked on at least once a month. My neighbor there is married to a woman who is no longer friends with me, but we are civil to each other. The problem is, the wife thinks she's entitled to dig up and take or remove any of my plants, shrubs, gravel, etc. Every season, I check the garden to make sure nothing else is missing.

I took great pride in my garden of perennials and enjoyed the fruits of my hard work.

Last fall, I noticed the daylilies were pulled right out of the ground. She also dug up a hosta that had been in that spot for years — and looked great. She obviously does her dirty work when her husband isn't home. She simply helps herself to my garden.

I went to the police, and they suggested I discuss this with the neighbor. The officer said if the police dropped by, it would be considered a threat, and besides, the husband may not know anything.

This has been going on for years. Every season gets more frustrating. I bought an outside camera (not installed) and left her a note saying I had contacted the police, but it hasn't made any difference. She ignores all the "Keep Out" and "No Trespassing" signs. Any suggestions? — At the End of My Rope

Dear End: Are you sure the wife is doing this? Could it be local animals or some other culprit? We strongly recommend you install that camera and find out what's going on. If you get proof, talk to the husband and ask him to discuss it with his wife. You also can take it to the police. This is trespassing and theft, and it's against the law

Dear Annie: I need to respond to "It's Only Hair." As a former businessperson, my company hired only employees who were well groomed to represent our establishment. If a prospective employee appeared looking like something the dog brought home from a weekend fling, there was no way he would be considered.

Tattoos, long hair, whiskers or a junkyard of iron piercings on their face and ears are simply not appropriate when looking for an emissary for your business. Young adults looking for employment might consider presenting a better image of themselves. — Oregon

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM



Comments

37 Comments | Post Comment
LW2 - I would definitely install that camera. I would also take pictures of my property and my gardens. Most people who take shrubs, assuming they aren't doing it to spite you, are doing it to get plants to put in their own garden. If you see your plants in her garden, you can show this proof to the police as well as to the husband. It sounds like you think he would be on your side or at least doesn't know of his wife stealing your plants. This proof might get him to put a stop to it.
LW3 - Lucky for you that your former employer was more interested in people's appearance than in their grammar. Here's one of several examples of incorrect grammar in your short letter: "As a former businessperson, my company hired... " In that sentence, "my company" refers to "former businessperson", which of course makes no sense. I guess, "It's only grammar".
Comment: #1
Posted by: kai archie
Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:18 PM
kai archie, don't you know that corporations are people now?? ;-)
Comment: #2
Posted by: angoradeb
Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:42 PM
LW#2. Do install that camera. My bet is that you are in for a big surprise. You do not offer one iota of proof that it is in fact your neighbor's wife removing the plants. Squirrels can do this. Deer do this. I once found holes where I had planted a whole flat of new flowers; only two remained. As I stood there in horror, one of the remaining two plants slowly disappeared into the ground. Maybe thirty seconds later, a gopher head appeared in the new hole. He was literally pulling them down into his lair! I had never before seen a gopher, and had no idea that my property harbored them. To blame a specific person simply because you two don't get along, well, makes you sound like a crazy lady.
Comment: #3
Posted by: tonie
Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:54 PM
* * * * PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT * * * *

LW3 refers to the final letter on 12 February 2012, which itself referred to the second letter on 10 January 2012.


Comment: #4
Posted by: Miss Pasko
Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:13 AM
Re: kai archie
We all know Creators and/or the Annies edit letters. It's possible that happened to LW3. I've noticed that the Annies don't always use proper grammar.
LW2 - Nowhere did the LW state that she has seen her plants in the neighbor's yard. Install the camera, take before and after still pictures of both her yard and the neighbor's yard, and if her plants are showing up in the neighbors' yard, then contact the authorities. As other posters have suggested, there are several other possibilities of what has happened to the plants and shrubs.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Kitty
Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:35 AM
LW1 - Anybody who tells someone to "get over it" once they've had something tragic happen to them is heartless and has no empathy whatsoever. Definitly search for free or low income counseling in your area. Years ago, I went to a counseling center run by a church and you paid based on your income. I paid $3 per session. And, no, they did not push their religion or religion itself on you. They were excellent counselors. And searching online for some tips is a good idea, too. Maybe you'll find some message boards about people who have gone through something similar who can help you. Good luck.

LW2 - I agree that you should install that camera and find out what's going on. It could be animals. My parents plant a garden every year and even though they put a fence around it, some sort of animal always manages to get in and help themselves. If it does turn out to be your neighbor, then I would charge her with trespassing.
Comment: #6
Posted by: Michelle
Thu Mar 22, 2012 3:07 AM
LW1: Please do find some professional help to deal with this trauma, even if it is years after the event -- it's clearly still weighing on you, which is only natural. The people downplaying this incident haven't gone through it, so they don't understand, and you should treat their opinion accordingly -- as uninformed. Don't let them get you down, and don't let them stop you from getting assistance.

LW2: The letter doesn't ever say "and then I saw the hosta in her garden" or "and I noticed her new shrubs looked exactly like my old ones." I don't know if that wasn't ever part of the letter, or if the Annies edited it out. But taking pictures of your garden in "perfect shape" and then IF you see your plants show up in your neighbor's yard, taking pictures of those, will help a lot in building your case.

IF you haven't seen your plants show up in her hard at all, then it's more likely animals... or else it could be complete strangers, who've realized that your home is unoccupied most of the year and see it as an easy target. (If I were you, I would activate those video cameras as well, because if it is common knowledge your house is often unoccupied, other kind of thievery and break-ins could be imminent as well.)

LW3: Agreed. For some jobs, some professions, tattoos and piercings and unkempt hair aren't a big deal; for others, appearance is important, even integral, to your success in the company. Many young people don't think that far ahead, though, when they develop their personal "style".
Comment: #7
Posted by: Mike H
Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:02 AM
LW2: In addition to setting up the camera, I would look into hiring a security company to keep an eye on your summer home. Frankly, you are lucky all you are missing are plants. Homes that are left unoccupied are, as Mike H. points out, vulnerable to vandalism, theft and squatters. In my town (I live close to a large lake) the lakeside homes that are empty due to foreclosures have been broken into and lived in for extended periods of time. One was "occupied" by a squatter for a full year! I wonder who is checking on your home, it's worth the money to have professionals keep an eye on the property when you are not living there.

LW3: Years ago, I interviewed at an extremely well known company. As I waited in the lobby for the interview loop (notoriously long) to begin, I sat on the chair in my lovely silk suit with nylons, pumps and my little briefcase perched on my knee when in walks a large heavy set man wearing a torn tank top and bathing suit trunks. He had shaggy hair and looked a little like a homeless guy. My interviewer came to get me, and a few hours later I was told I got the job. My first day working there I was introduced to management: and there was Mr. Bathing Suit: he was my boss's boss's boss. He is BRILLIANT and one of the nicest most professional people I have ever worked with. You can't tell a book by it's cover and to judge people based on personal appearance in the work place can kill your career. Professional appearance IS important in some industries and in some positions (sales comes immediately to mind) but not in all. My last manager at this same company had more piercings than most rock stars.
Comment: #8
Posted by: nanchan
Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:57 AM
LW2: I'm… confused. Seriously, can a BTL'er help me understand this situation? She writes that the police said “the husband may not know anything.” What does the husband have to do with any of this?? She makes it a point to describe the friend as “married”, and point out that they are no longer friends. Does anyone think there may be more to this picture?

LW3: Ugggggghhhhh. * sigh * I work in a very conservative field. Political and fashion-wise. So I understand where this writer is coming from, but omg, the kid was 14!!! Let him have his Bieber locks while he's young and not looking for a job. Let him get it out of his system. Or * gasp * let him keep the long locks and find a job that isn't so conservative. Jeebus. It's just hair.
Comment: #9
Posted by: Casey
Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:08 AM
Shout to Miss Pasko. Thanks for all the public service announcements! They are really helpful!! :)
Comment: #10
Posted by: Casey
Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:12 AM
LW2 - Why would you not simply install the camera? It would go a long way toward solving your problems if you had proof who was stealing your plants.

LW3 - Ughhhh indeed. "Tattoos, long hair, whiskers or a junkyard of iron piercings"? the kid wanted long hair. The KID wanted LONG HAIR. He didn't want tattoos, he didn't want iron piercings, and I don't thing he was planning to grow a big thick beard. And he was 14, nowhere near ready to jump into the conservative job market. Get over yourself. You're old and grouchy; the world has changed, and IF he keeps his long hair for years (a big IF), as long as he looks clean and presentable he should have no trouble getting a job at most companies.
Comment: #11
Posted by: Zoe
Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:32 AM
Well, the gravel is a bit more puzzling, although its disappearance could be due to erosion, but when I saw the plants that were "stolen," my first thought was that the deer have discovered her garden. Deer LOVE members of the lily family, which includes daylilies and hostas. I think hostas might be their favorite food, equivalent to deer chocolate. Hybrid azaleas are another particular favorite.
Comment: #12
Posted by: Carla
Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:47 AM
@Carla, my azaleas were *decimated* by deer the very first winter after I planted them. A herd of evil deer. With long hair, tattoos, and a junkyard of iron piercings. Curse you, evil hooligan deer!
Comment: #13
Posted by: Mike H
Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:24 AM
Lol, Zoe, preach it! I bet this guy has actually used the phrase “Damn hippies” before.
Comment: #14
Posted by: Casey
Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:36 AM
Thanks Miss Pasko...still, I'd like to see just one day where her posting is NOT required...
Comment: #15
Posted by: Paul W
Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:47 AM
Re: Casey

LW2: I agree that there is a lot more than we are getting here. I took the LW to mean that the neighbor's wife and the LW used to be friends and that since the falling out (although they remain civil), her garden is suddenly missing things.

I wonder if the husband is the one who is keeping an eye on the house and that is why the LW is suspicious of his wife. At any rate, the best thing to do is to stop speculating and to start getting real evidence about what is happening at the house when she is away. It could be four animals, it could be two legged animals... but she doesn't have a leg to stand on herself without an ounce of proof which is probably why the cops told her to handle this herself.

RE: Miss Pasko: Miss, you really do us a service by digging through the archives to give us the dates of the original letters. I second casey's SHOUT for your hard work!
Comment: #16
Posted by: nanchan
Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:00 AM
LW3, I'm fully on board with Casey and Zoe. The original letter was about HAIR. On a teen. If you want to grow your hair out or shave it off or dye it blue when you're 14, guess what - it will have absolutely NO impact on your job search when you're 25. I truly think what kids do to their hair should be of absolutely no concern to their parents. You may not *like* what your kid does, whether it's too long, too short, too colourful for you - but nothing you do to hair is permanent, and kids will get tired of it and change their minds. And if they don't change their minds when they're adults, it's still their choice to make. Plus hair can be long without being messy and dirty.

Guess letter writer, piercings aren't permanent either. I had 11 holes pierced in various places on me when I was 17. I'm 24 now and only have one left, other than the 'normal' ear lobe piercing, and you can't see that one when I'm clothed. A tattoo is a different story, sure, but unless the teen/young person in question is so stupid as to get a giant tattoo on their face, those can usually be easily covered up when the situation calls for it too.
Comment: #17
Posted by: Alexandra
Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:13 AM
I bet that 14 year old is more embarassed by his parents (attitude and looks) than they are by him. When I was in my mid twenties, I had a good friend from high school. We often went out together after work, anything from a restaurant to a rock concert; me in my conservative "up and coming executive" business suit, and her in piercings and tattoos. We may have looked like an odd pair, but it never bothered us, and shouldn't bother anyone else.

There are times when looks need to be appropriate, but complaining about long hair on a fourteen year old is ridiculous. A psychology-oriented friend of mine says that when a father complains about his son's long hair he is subconciously reacting negatively to the thought that his son is now more attractive to women than he his.
Comment: #18
Posted by: Girl Scout Leader
Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:37 AM
@Alexandra, absolutely, most of this stuff isn't permanent or visible -- although some piercings can cause long-term damage, like the ones that stretch out someone's earlobes to 6 inches long? That may take actual cosmetic surgery to correct. And of course facial tattoos, which are still relatively rare.

My big "rebellion" was usually in coloring my hair, but via easily washed out temporary coloring. And a foot-and-a-half long braided "rattail" type thin ponytail. (Hey, this WAS the 1980s). My mom freaked but I told her that during job interviews I could just tuck it inside my shirt collar and no one would be the wiser.

I do think, however, that any young 20-somethings who show up to a job interview *still proudly displaying* all those stylistic choices should not be surprised when they don't get the job.
Comment: #19
Posted by: Mike H
Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:00 AM
I am responding to the person who commented on "Fed Up". This person said she put dog treats in a jar so her mother would not help herself to her food. She should be ashamed of herself. I have three children and six grandchildren and they are welcomed to anything I may have in my house to eat and they do help themselves. Each of us does the same thing at each others house. How can you treat your mother like that or anyone else. Disgusted
Comment: #20
Posted by: Vicky
Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:29 AM
LW1:
I had my face ripped open by an Afghan hound when I was 18 months old and had a horrible fear of dogs as a child. The neighbor's Dachshund could (and did) chase me around the block. My family was frustrated and my friends were annoyed, especially the ones who had dogs. A lot of the time I couldn't play outside because there was a large, aggressive dog who liked to jump or snap. It was especially difficult to do the mandatory door-to-door fund raising for school and athletic activities, because every few houses or yards had dogs in them. Some families let their dogs run loose. By the time I was ten or eleven I realized dogs were a fact of life, and it was I who was in the wrong. In fact, my mother often pointed out that it was my fault dogs liked to chase me, because my fear set them off. They could notice I was shaking and sweating, and they could probably hear my breathing and pulse.
Dogs don't read minds, but they can see, hear, and smell better than we can. I realized that if I could get control of how I was responding physically, the dogs wouldn't bark and attack. So I started with something that was easy to control: my breathing. I noticed I could read books about dogs, or even look at pictures of dogs, without freaking out. So I did that a lot. I encouraged my friend to talk about her new puppy. I watched out the window while other kids played with a friendly dog. Then, I gradually got closer. Maybe I'd be on a porch, or up a tree. I'd get as close as I could until I felt myself losing control physically, then I'd back off and try again. Every time I got a little bit closer. It helped if the dog ignored me. So I found some older, more mellow dogs to watch. It took months, but eventually I got to the point where I could pet the dog or walk by a fence that had a barking dog behind it. Meanwhile I read everything I could find about dog behavior so that I could understand what was really an attack in progress, and what wasn't. There are ways you can stand and facial expressions you can have that help convince dogs you're friendly. This took a while but it paid off: one day I actually held my friend's puppy. Also, I found that if I was sitting or lying down quietly, I could control not only my breathing but my heart rate. I could speed it up or make it slow down.
The big test came during one of those door-to-door fund raising campaigns when I was eleven or twelve. We lived on an acreage, so it was sometimes a quarter of a mile between houses. I was ringing doors a few houses down, but the neighbors weren't home. Their Dobermans were, though, and they were loose. The dogs had a reputation for chasing and biting people, and they were not happy to see me on their territory, especially after the doorbell woke them up. I knew I couldn't fight three Dobermans, I couldn't outrun them, there was nobody around to help me if I screamed, and it would most likely be hours before I was found so I stood a very good chance of bleeding to death. My only way out was to make them not attack and convince them I was just passing through, so I had to get everything right: eyes, facial expression, breathing, posture, hands, everything. Even my heart rate. I managed this and got home OK, and from that point on dogs haven't been that big of a deal for me. I've been bitten a few times but not badly. I ended up caring for my brother's dog. I may never bond with a dog emotionally, and I'm not a huge fan of having a dog with large jaws close to my face or throat, but dogs don't interfere with day to day life.
I don't know what this "therapy" thing is or why it is fashionable, but it sounds expensive and unreliable. Try what I did instead. It's free.
Comment: #21
Posted by: R.A.
Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:49 AM
I lived in NYC' East Village back in the '80s. One weekend my cousin came to visit with her husband and inlaws. When the father-in-law saw all the mohawk- and piercing-festooned denizens of the neighborhood (and remember, this was NEW back then!), he indignantly opined: "How do these people expect to climb the corporate ladder looking like that!" Um, well, clearly they didn't, pops!
To LW1: please find a way to get therapy. No only to deal with your understandable fear and PTSD, but with the cluelessness-bordering-on-betrayal displayed by your family--who not only never got you help at the time but who insist on keeping a dog who bites around the house. Sheesh!
Comment: #22
Posted by: Annie Lux
Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:02 AM
@Michelle (if you're around today): Thanks for explaining your post yesterday! I was very confused at first. I was like either 1. this is a really open minded grocery store to let dogs in! or 2. It's a grocery store for dogs! And I had this really funny image of dogs walking on two legs, pushing grocery carts, and holding purses, and being all human-y like…
Then I realized I had completely overshared on BTL… :)
Comment: #23
Posted by: Casey
Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:39 AM
I myself have tattoos. They mean a lot to me. I think it's discrimination not to be hired for a job just because you have tattoos. I have them on my forearms and one on my leg. I can easily cover these up with theater makeup or a long sleeve shirt. I work in a tax office and am free to show my tattoos because the owner knows how much they mean to me. Employers should think about that when they want to say no to tattooed people. Just because I have tattoos doesn't mean I'm lazy, do drugs, or am part of a gang. For me personally they are a tribute of my love for my animals.
Comment: #24
Posted by: Kelly
Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:17 PM
Re: Casey

You wrote, "but omg, the kid was 14!!! Let him have his Bieber locks while he's young and not looking for a job. Let him get it out of his system. Or * gasp * let him keep the long locks and find a job that isn't so conservative. Jeebus. It's just hair."

I couldn't agree with you more! When I was 14, it was "cool" to have streaks of fluorescent colors in your hair (to match the horrible fluorescent outfits we wore, LOL). My mother was pretty strict, but even she let that go. It was temporary dye and it washed out after one wash. But my grandmother hit the roof when she saw it, basically calling my mother a bad mother for allowing it. My mother said, "It's just hair...let her be her age." Gram then said to me, "Nobody is going to take you seriously with that stuff in your hair!" I was 14!! I didn't care about being "taken seriously"!

Besides, I work in a field (media) where nobody cares if you have tattoos, piercings, long hair, purple hair, etc. There are fields where those types of things don't matter.

And you're welcome for post clarification for yesterday. Your thoughts of dogs pushing carts made me laugh!
Comment: #25
Posted by: Michelle
Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:47 PM
Discrimination? That seems like a stretch.

While you are free to represent yourself however you choose, employers are also free to choose how they want their business to be represented. There are always exceptions, but for the most part, someone walking into a more traditional type of business with multiple visible tattoos or facial piercings, looking for a job, would have about as much luck as someone interviewing at the Village Voice in Dockers and a Polo shirt. It's about knowing your audience and choosing what is important to you. I also have a tattoo, but it isn't visible when I'm at work, and that was a conscious decision when I got it. I love my it, but I go to the office to do my job and earn a living. I don't need my bosses or coworkers to see anything other than my ability to do what I get paid to do.
Comment: #26
Posted by: Shirley
Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:48 PM
@Kelly, I'm sorry but I do have to agree with Shirley, it's not "discrimination" in the negative sense if a manager chooses not to hire someone in part because the way they present themselves in the interview doesn't match with the needs of the business environment of the company -- in fact, a good manager HAS to consider that as part of the hiring process.

Hiring someone who is a bad "fit" for the corporate culture is just asking for trouble -- and maybe even setting up the new hire to fail.

When showing up to an interview, a job seeker should already have a sense of what the company's culture is like and should present themselves appropriately. That's part of the deal in getting a job. Some professions are more open to a variety of personal expression, others less so. "Know your audience" is important to remember.

If someone's personal expression is more important to them than a job they are applying for, then they shouldn't be all that surprised if they don't get the job. It's all a matter of priorities.
Comment: #27
Posted by: Mike H
Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:27 PM
RE: Shirley and Mike H:

Dictionary.com defines discrimination as: treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit. People who refuse to hire based on appearance when the applicant has the qualifications is making a discriminatory judgment against that person and condoning those judgments that others will make. As in, long hair or tattoos is somehow associated with unprofessional demeanor or behavior. An EEOC-protected class, no. Discrimination, yes.

As someone with visible tattoos, I have had the unfortunate experience of having been hired by a company with a policy with which I am compliant, proven my skills again and again, received two promotions over just a few years, and then some hotshot new manager decided to impose a stricter appearance code in our department. The rage I feel over being judged more on my appearance than on my skills and accomplishments would power a space shuttle trip to Jupiter. And yes, I must take it upon myself to locate another job if I wish to return to my previously-accepted mode of dress where the tattoos showed, because HR supports management's right to conduct itself as it desires.
Comment: #28
Posted by: SusanQ
Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:31 PM
LW1--"I feel no one understands my fear because it's an American tradition to love dogs." No, the reason no one understands your fear is because humans, unfortunately aren't telepathic. When I was a child, I stepped on a hornets nest while playing in the yard. I was chased and stung several times. Since then, I have a fear of hornets and the sight of a hornet induces fear and panic. I'm sure people who, from a distance, observe the sight of a grown man running like a girl from what they find to be an insignificant insect to be irrational or even comical, they don't know the back story. Therefore, I advise you to speak up. When presented by friends or strangers alike with a large dog, you need to simply but firmly state that you're very sorry but due to a traumatic experience you cannot tolerate being in the presence of large dogs. If you find that people try to plead their "sweet" or "gentle" dog's good nature, etc., you simply need to remain adamant that while you're sure their dog is good natured, you cannot tolerate its presence. Period. There's no need to go into specifics or to relive your horrific experience. If these people won't accommodate you, then that's their problem, not yours.

LW2--Why on earth would you purchase a camera but not install it?!? Assuming your estranged neighbor is the culprit, she knows you're not a round most of the year, so she feels free to help herself to whatever she wants from your garden. You basically have two options: Install the camera and obtain proof of her trespassing on your property and vandalizing your garden; or show up unexpectedly and catch her red handed. Either way, its going to be difficult for you to get proof if your neighbor knows your comings and goings and also knows where and when you've installed the camera. My advice is to completely enclose the property with a high fence and keep the gate locked. You might also look into hiring a trusted neighbor (perhaps someone inconspicuous like a teenager) to check in on your property every couple of days. Once you gather concrete evidence of the thefts, then you should definitely press charges. Keep in mind, however, that people tend to find creative ways to make your life a living hell once you've targeted them. Ask yourself if the price of the flowers and plants are worth risking more costly destruction by way of retaliation.

LW3--Since most young people's lives are apparently being financed by their coptor parents, what incentive do they have to clean up and look presentable or professional for real jobs?
Comment: #29
Posted by: Chris
Thu Mar 22, 2012 2:42 PM
LW1-
What everyone said.

Except perhaps...
@Chris
What you said about people not being telepathic is only applicable to perfect strangers, to who she is not referrinf qhen she says her entourage tells her to "get over it". Obviously, they know what it is they expect her to get over in the twinkle of an eye. What they're essentially telling her is "We can't see a bleeding wound, therefore you don't have one." There is a lot of that kind of insensitivity around.

LW2-
I too don't know why you would go through the expense of buying a camera and then not install it. Do that, the result might be instructive, if incredibly boring. I was going to suggest putting up a large fence, but that wouldn't deter gophers. And yes, unless you've seen your plants and shrubs reappear in your neigbour's garden after disappearing from yours, you cannot be sure she is the one taking them. It could be animals and it could be other people, who happen to know from watching it that hour house is unoccupied much of the time. Personally, I would install more than cameras.

Comment: #30
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Thu Mar 22, 2012 3:48 PM
Mike H said it perfectly - it may technically fit the definition of discrimination, but employers have to be deliberate in how their company is represented to their customers, who will most definitely discriminate when choosing with whom to do business. Employers are NOT in business to give people jobs. They are in business to make money. Therefore, anything that can help or hinder their ability to attract customers/clients absolutely must be considered when hiring employees who will be representing them. As some pointed out, there are industries where having tattoos or piercings are more tolerated (or even expected!). But if you want to work as a client-contact person for a conservative company in a conservative industry, you probably should not have a snake tattoo across your face with diamond nose studs as eyes (I actually saw a gal with that last month - quite impressive - but I wouldn't expect to see her in my pediatrician's office).
Comment: #31
Posted by: paize038
Thu Mar 22, 2012 7:02 PM
Hi Annie, I am repliing to the 20 year old that got beating by the dog. First I feel for her and I know that this keeps the people with bad memories and of course most of the times they continued been traumatic with any dogs. I also love dogs. Of course neither one of our dogs are big or have a bad behaviors so far anyway. my Son now 24 years old also was bitting by a Chow dog when he was only 4 yrs. old and just like this young lady he is scared and I know this has had him have a low selfsteam and dosent have to many friends except the few from his HS back in Okla. I know that he try to not to showed by when it cames to meet new people he try to either no to socialist or keep to himself. Overall he is a great son! I would loved to have this young girl to be friends with him and maybe both can help each others fears. A great son by quiet lonely cute young man. Mom in El Paso Tx
Comment: #32
Posted by: Linda Wed
Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:53 PM
Dear At the End of My Rope : As recommended by others' post a few security cameras. You can have it set up to viewed by your cell phone of home computer. But I would also recommend that you talk to your neighbors including the one you suspect's husband, ask them if they are having plants disappear etc. Do not mention the camera's etc at all. It's possible someone outside the neighborhood has realized that you are gone a good portion of the time and you are serving as their local nursery or it could be animals. I would also suggest that you set up some motion sensor lights etc. You can have it set up so that a lamp or light pops on inside your home along with outside motion sensors if there is any movement in your garden, etc. If you have a good friend that has an extra car, you could ask them to park at your place every so often when you are out of town to throw prospective thieves off the scent.
Comment: #33
Posted by: Margie Miller
Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:54 PM
@ Linda Wed

You wouldn't, by chance, have a cousin named Lolley, would you?
Comment: #34
Posted by: Barbara B.
Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:14 PM
Re: Margie Miller ... had a 2nd thought. Can tell it's late ... I want to laugh my head off with this suggestion. Along with flood lights tied to motion sensors, set up your sprinkler system to come on with them. If it's animals you may scare them away ... if it's a human ... If the police can respond quick enough ... they may find a soaking wet thief.
Comment: #35
Posted by: Margie Miller
Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:28 PM
LW2
Before you have a conniption, install the camera. Why not add another sign to your property with doggerel such as:
Take only pictures
Leave only footprints
Kill nothing but time
```
Comment: #36
Posted by: Word A Day Mate
Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:55 AM
LW3: I don't see why people make such a big deal about a man (or boy) having long hair. It shouldn't make a difference on the job as long as he keeps it in a ponytail (if necessary), washes it daily, and it doesn't pose a safety hazard. My sisters used to complain about my hair when it was long, but I think they were just jealous that my hair looked nicer than theirs!
Comment: #37
Posted by: Paul
Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:00 PM
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