The Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate

Once More With Fleeing for 01/01/2008

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

This girl I've known for six years is visiting me. We live on opposite sides of the country, and once a year, have weeklong "dates" (the polite word for it). I thought we had a no-strings-attached arrangement. Then, two days ago, she said, "I love you." Yikes. I just like her a lot, but felt bad saying that, so I lied and said "I love you" back. She's since said it ...

Updated: Tue Jan 01, 2008

Frisk Management for 01/08/2008

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I'm being tormented by a co-worker's husband. He visits our office often, flirting with me every time, but it's gone from "Hey, good lookin'!" to getting right in my space and whispering "Hot butt" or "Lemme see your cleavage." He'll come up behind me at my computer, so I'm trapped. He'll put his hand in my hair or on my neck or shoulders, even when his wife's ther ...

Updated: Tue Jan 08, 2008

Dawn of the Dud for 01/15/2008

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I'm a 31-year-old guy who's just about given up on dating. My last girlfriend was desperately needy. She'd make me go to the store with her, and when I went to work, she'd hang out in my office all day. (She wanted to sit on my lap and talk to me while I worked.) It drove me nuts, so we split a couple months ago. The girlfriend before her couldn't stop going on and on about the details of her s ...

Updated: Tue Jan 15, 2008

Man Bites Relationship for 01/22/2008

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

Three months ago, my boyfriend rescued a 2-year-old, 85-pound, neutered dog from a shelter. I have a little 35-pound dog I love dearly. She's been with me seven years. We wanted to introduce them because we want to build a life together. It didn't go well. His dog attacked mine both times. I said this should be a no-brainer: If he can't turn his dog around through training soon, he should get r ...

Updated: Tue Jan 22, 2008

Klan Do Attitude for 01/29/2008

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I'm in a relationship with a man I love and want to spend my life with, but I can't stand his 6-year-old daughter. She's obnoxious, has a smart mouth, and is being taught some wicked racism by her mother and her mother's family. I've never tolerated bigotry, and I don't intend to start. This kid is also being brought up to believe she's the center of the universe. I become a second-class citize ...

Updated: Tue Jan 29, 2008

Apocalypse Eventually for 02/05/2008

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 00:00:00 -0800

My girlfriend of four years is sweet, smart and sexy, in a vanilla kind of way, but I've never felt passionate about her. We're both grad students and we were getting sick of our respective roommates. My girlfriend wanted to move our relationship forward, and found us a great deal on a rental, but we had to act immediately. Although I had misgivings, it seemed too hard to say no, so I signed th ...

Updated: Tue Feb 05, 2008

A Man On The Meek for 02/12/2008

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I'm a guy and need directions! For a month, I've been flirting with this woman at work, and I think she's flirting back. I now have a week's vacation, but I'm not leaving town. Before I left, she said, "You know, if you're bored, you can drop by work and see us." She said it again before I went down the elevator. Do you think she's hinting that she's interested? I'd ask her out, but i ...

Updated: Tue Feb 12, 2008

A Wrinkle In Timing for 02/19/2008

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I'm 25, and work in film and TV. Last year was my first year of consistent employment. I'm producing my first documentary, but I still have a long, brutal climb ahead. My girlfriend of a year is extremely pretty, kind, and smart, and has supported me in every aspect of my career. She's outgoing, great with my friends, and even likes football. In short, she's awesome. I never thought I'd fear co ...

Updated: Tue Feb 19, 2008

Bleed Between The Lines for 02/26/2008

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:00:00 -0800

After a breakup, people say you have to wait one month for every year of the broken relationship (in my case, 11 months) before you're ready to date. Are they making this up? Right after I was unwillingly separated and in the process of a divorce, I probably talked too much about my pain to women I dated, and they all ran. But, even six months after my separation, I was a dating pariah. I was j ...

Updated: Tue Feb 26, 2008

Who's Yore Daddy? for 03/04/2008

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I'm 33, never married. In 2000, I happened to call my old boyfriend, "Tim," when he'd just become a dad and was a week away from getting married. He seemed happy I called, but I could tell his wife-to-be was right there, so I was brief and apologized for the timing. Well, he was always so kind, and I wanted to call him just once more to tell him how special he was to me and how glad I ...

Updated: Tue Mar 04, 2008

The Hating Is The Hardest Part for 03/11/2008

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I wrote you two months ago about a male co-worker who was flirting but never asking me out. You said to flirt with him, but date others. He's still flirting, and watches me like a hawk, but that's it. Yesterday, he overheard me talking about some date I had. Apparently, his face went beet red and he got all "weird." He didn't even come say goodbye before leaving, as he always does. I ...

Updated: Tue Mar 11, 2008

Till Dud Do Us Part for 03/18/2008

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Two years ago, my husband had an affair. He apologized profusely, but since he ended it, he's been on his worst behavior. He quit his job, saying that working for someone is beneath him. Fine, but he went back to school, then quit mid-semester to go on a solo camping trip, leaving me to shoulder our financial obligations. He's forgotten our anniversary these past two years, and while I've never ...

Updated: Tue Mar 18, 2008

Cruel And Crullers for 03/25/2008

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0700

In high school and college I was really overweight. I started losing weight and found a great guy online. During the year we talked, I went from size 18 to size 12, losing 80 pounds. When we met, I was a little overweight, but in my best shape ever, and we were really attracted to each other. We're now married, but stressed, as I'm the only one working until he completes the immigration process ...

Updated: Tue Mar 25, 2008

THE ADVICE GODDESS for 04/01/2008

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

BY AMY ALKON

FOR RELEASE TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Sects And The City

My wife of a year is from a very conservative culture (a Muslim country). She said she'd only dated three guys, and only kissed and held hands. I told her it's nice she was a virgin, but honesty was more important. She kept saying I was the first man to ...

Updated: Tue Apr 01, 2008

While You Were Sweeping for 04/08/2008

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend of nine months leaves a mess in my home, and it infuriates me. Although he's otherwise a great guy, just a glass not taken to the kitchen makes me boil with rage. He doesn't only leave glasses around, but dishes and trash, napkins and soda cans. Jackets and sweatshirts are dropped wherever. He lies on the bed without taking his shoes off...arrrrgh! And he spits toothpaste into the ...

Updated: Tue Apr 08, 2008

Battlefield Girth for 04/15/2008

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

In a recent column, you validated a woman's desire to lose weight solely to meet her husband's needs. Your encouraging her to take off pounds and get plastic surgery for him is an insult to yourself and every woman who reads your disgraceful article. I disagree with your notion that males care more about looks. I'm a heterosexual woman (19...am I a woman yet?), and my dates' looks are extremely ...

Updated: Tue Apr 15, 2008

Dis Dis Bang Bang for 04/22/2008

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I'm 29, as is the woman I've been seeing for three months. After she kept pulling away when I tried to kiss her, she confessed that kissing is very, very intimate to her. She'll actually sleep with someone before kissing them. In fact, we've been having sex for a while — without kissing. She had girlfriends in college, and said she found it easier kissing girls. She claims she doesn't wan ...

Updated: Tue Apr 22, 2008

Things That Go Chump In The Night for 04/29/2008

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

My wife and I have been married 10 years and have two young children. Two years ago, we agreed to separate, and I left for Iraq. Two weeks later, she moved a boyfriend into our place. The following year, she ended it with him, and we decided to try to work things out. I bought a house and moved her and our kids in. Two months later, she went back to the boyfriend. A year later, she left him, an ...

Updated: Tue Apr 29, 2008

A Walk In The Clods for 05/06/2008

Tue, 06 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

This co-worker guy, who I hardly know, has been stalking me at work. I don't want to cause trouble for him, but...he's creepy. He's been asking co-workers about me and finding me on my breaks. Today, as I was leaving for lunch, he said, "I haven't stopped thinking about you." The hairs on my neck stood up. The shower music from "Psycho" came into my head!! I (like an idiot) ...

Updated: Tue May 06, 2008

Hags To Riches for 05/13/2008

Tue, 13 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend of a year has his own home, as do I. He needs a roommate to help pay bills, and only a woman has responded. She'll have her own bedroom, but they'll share a bathroom. He advertised in the campus housing office, so she must be young, or younger than I am (my boyfriend and I are both in our mid 30s). I have an issue with him having a female roommate. What if we have a fight and he do ...

Updated: Tue May 13, 2008