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Susan Estrich
15 May 2013
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What I Couldn't Teach Eliot Spitzer at Harvard Law School

Comment
I met Eliot Spitzer during his first semester in law school, my first year teaching criminal law at Harvard. He was smart and ambitious, which certainly didn't set him apart from the rest of his classmates at Harvard. What did, and what brought him to my door, was that he was interested in a career in politics.

I myself was fresh from four years in Washington, the last two working in the Kennedy and Carter campaigns, and while I was barely four years older than my students, I had already learned some important lessons about how Democrats lose. So I had advice for Eliot. Go be a prosecutor, I told him. Democrats need to prove what side they're on when it comes to crime. Being a prosecutor is the way to prove you're tough.

He went to the Manhattan district attorney's office when he graduated, and later ran for attorney general. I used to joke, as I watched my former student make a name for himself, that rarely did anyone take my advice so much to heart.

Maybe he was absent the day we discussed the Mann Act. But I don't think so. I don't think this is about what he didn't know. He knew better. He just didn't think it would happen to him.

My old roommate used to call it "getting stupid." In the beginning of the story, the guy might be smart, thoughtful, good-looking and funny. But when it came to sex, she'd just shake her head. Lord, could guys get stupid or what?

That's the phrase that kept running through my head as I listened to the reports, read the affidavits and plowed through the details of the mess surrounding my very smart former student Gov. Eliot Spitzer.

How could one smart guy get that stupid?

He used his own cell phone to arrange for a prostitute to go from New York to Washington, D.C., to have sex with him. Didn't he remember the stuff I taught him about how crossing state lines and using phone wires turn things into federal crimes, about the aptly named Mann Act, which makes prostitution a federal offense when you cross state lines to do it? Eight years of prosecuting Wall Street as attorney general of New York, and he was still clumsy enough in pulling money from his own accounts that his bank noted it and alerted the authorities to suspicious transactions on his account.

The easy answer, the one I heard frequently as the story was breaking, is that men just get stupid about sex. But prostitution is -- from my vantage point as a woman and a mother -- a particularly unattractive and offensive kind of extramarital activity. I really believe it is none of my business, as a member of the public or the media, if a political or business leader has an affair. I don't sit in judgment of other people's marriages or their private lives.

But prostitution isn't just sex. Prostitution objectifies the women who engage in it, dehumanizes sex and sexuality, and turns both into commodities with a price tag.

Rich, powerful men don't need to pay women to have sex; there are plenty who will do it for nothing, save the expectation that they be treated as people. I have never understood why such men prefer to pay for it. Or, more accurately, I have understood, and I think less of them for their choice. What does it say about a man that he'd rather pay for sex? That he is willing to offer nothing but money? It is the cheapest sex a man can have, a friend of mine says, which is why I find it so offensive. Both Eliot and I are big believers in personal responsibility.

Of course, the real issue isn't sex, but judgment. Ruining a career you've spent decades building, ruining your future, making yourself vulnerable to criminal punishment, humiliating yourself and your family literally in the eyes of the world, all for a few nights in the sack with a whore? Insane. Just insane.

There is only one obvious explanation for why a smart man would commit such a totally self-destructive act: He didn't think he would be caught. It wasn't worth it, and he knew that then as well as he does now. He just didn't think he'd be forced to pay the price.

One of the hardest things for parents to teach their children is that actions have consequences. Kids think they're immortal. Parents know better, which is why we hound them about not smoking, about not drinking and driving, about seatbelts and drugs and punch at parties. We want our children to grow up feeling that they are special, but not so special that they assume the rules don't apply and the odds won't catch up to them.

To run for high office, you have to view yourself a little differently than most of us view ourselves. You need to believe you have something special; you need to be able to hear your own voice all day long, see your own image, be in your own face in a way that most of us couldn't, at least not comfortably. But you also need to remember not to buy into the idea that you really are different. You have to resist the almost irresistible intoxication of power, the part of it that might leave a mere mortal believing, as 16-year-olds do, that they are something more.

Eliot Spitzer knew better, but he clearly forgot that the rules apply to everyone. Especially him. Now, the face in the mirror is the one that did him in. Poor Eliot. I do feel sorry for him. But there are some things you can't teach, some things that can only be learned through painful experience. Hubris is what it's called.

To find out more about Susan Estrich and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

NOTE TO READERS: THE PRECEDING IS AN UPDATED AND EXPANDED SUSAN ESTRICH COLUMN ON ELIOT SPITZER, WHO WAS A STUDENT OF HERS WHEN SHE TAUGHT LAW AT HARVARD UNIVERSITY. FOR RATES AND AVAILABILITY FOR ONE-SHOT PUBLICATION, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR CREATORS SYNDICATE SALES REPRESENTATIVE AT (310) 337-7003. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. -- CREATORS SYNDICATE



Comments

13 Comments | Post Comment
Men who can't tame their 'lust' are bound to lose.
Comment: #1
Posted by: JeamJJ
Wed Mar 12, 2008 4:42 PM
Every day women use their bodies to sell everything from champagne to exercise videos. Why should a woman who willingly offers her body for a man to touch be any different from a woman in a print ad or a tv commercial who is using her sexuality to push a product and enriching some giant corporation. Sorry, Susan, I disagree with you on this one. But yes, it is all too sad for his family.
Comment: #2
Posted by: sandra clarke
Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:42 PM
Susan, you miss one of the two reasons that men, especially the rich and powerful, use prostitutes: silence. You notice that Kristen didn't break this story nor is she to blame that Gov. Spitzer got caught. It was his own shady account practices that got him into trouble. Rich and powerful men in positions of authority can get sex free of course. And they can treat women as people too. But if they for whatever reason drop them, what happens? Leaks to the press, of course. Two words: Bill Clinton. I think one of the reasons that these prostitutes charge more than usual is their discretion. Part of their price is keeping quiet.
I must say though that to a point, most women are prostitutes. A lot of our mating rituals involve the movement of money whether for that first drink, the dinners, the dates, up to that engagement ring which I have heard a lot of women talk about as being very important to them. It may not be the deal breaker, but I have heard that now many women prefer to choose the ring themselves, so they get "the right one."
Comment: #3
Posted by: Kevin
Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:56 PM
Spitzer got caught because he'd become so arrogant he thought he could get away with it. I certainly hope the little b____ gets the same treatment he gave so many of his targets. "Do you know who I am ?" "I'll ruin you."
Good riddance !
Comment: #4
Posted by: Mike in KCMO
Thu Mar 13, 2008 8:21 AM
Re: Kevin

I agree that rich men use high priced call girls for the silence that their fees insure. A regular prostitute, or a woman involved in an affair, would probably come forward, at some point, just as Monica Lewinski did. I disagree, however, with the notion that courting a woman is similar in nature to paying for a prostitute. In almost all cultures the male tends to pursue/court the female and there is usually some sort of expenditure in doing so. That's not to say that in our culture, with most women in the work force, that we can't pay for dates as well. I've always been more than happy to pay my way, however, I expect the man I'm with to be just as giving as I am. As for picking out the "right" engagement ring that may be a matter of taste in jewelry design rather than the size of the diamond. Fortunately, for me, my husband knew my taste and he picked out a lovely ring. If a woman is only interested in picking out a ring because she wants a huge stone then I'd probably think twice about marrying her if I were a man.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Corinne Danzl
Thu Mar 13, 2008 9:19 AM
The reason Hillary's support dried up so quickly is she treated very powerful Democrat politicians like servants. In my opinion I think this is how most Democrats treat people, like they are better than everybody else.
Comment: #6
Posted by: Matthew
Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:44 PM
I once heard Charlie Sheen say something like "I don't pay the women to have sex with me - I pay them so they'll leave."
Comment: #7
Posted by: Todd
Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:01 PM
Susan I agree with you on this one. I listen to some talk show host say that Spitzer wanted to get caught. I agree with you that he did not think he would get caught nor be punished. Kevin I can agree with your coments about the prostitutes keeping quiet but not that dating rituals are a form of prostitution. The innocent victims are the children and I have to say I feel sorry for his wife but am shocked that she did not want him to step down. Did she know and not care about the cheating? Another example of power and greed that goes with politics.
Comment: #8
Posted by: Kathaleen McCausland
Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:23 PM
What really gets me is his public mean culpas about responsibility. What he's sorry about is that he got stupid, and got caught. There would be no remorse for his actions if he didn't have to pay the price. What a liar.

RE: Prostitution. Women should be able to sell sexual services in a safe environment, but that will never happen in this Puritan nation, and more than we'll legalize recreational drug use so that law enforcement can concentrate on real crime.
Comment: #9
Posted by: Carole
Fri Mar 14, 2008 8:30 AM
The female doctor who has a regular column in USNews writes this week about the apparent epidemic in
oral sex among the young. I was reminded of an up-and-coming Florida Republican who was caught paying
a prostitute $20 dollars to sodomize him. I should quickly acknowledge that I anticipate some saying that
oral sex may not be sodomy, only anal sex. (I recall Senator Bill Nelson of Florida decrying the "sodomizing"
of some of the prisoners at Abu Grahb.) Of course we all remember that Bill Clinton's preference was oral.
I mentioned my view that oral sex with a woman (even your wife) is just as bad as oral sex with another man
to some friends. I was surprised with their response: we had our wives sodomize us regularly as a means of
of birth control. The one and only thing I can commend Hillary for is that she would apparently not stoop
to sodomizing Bill. Of course, my friends say that I have simply led a sheltered life. Thank God! I would
not think of asking a woman to demeanor herself and sodomize me. In fact, I can only imagine that the man
who has someone "give him a blow job" is only seeking the thrill of demeaning that person. I wonder what
kind of sex Eliot asks of his whores. If it is strictly vaginal, then he is more of a man than Bill Clinton, yes
more moral.
Comment: #10
Posted by: John Mark Coney
Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:25 AM
" He didn't think s/he would be caught."

This is so true throughout the structures of power in this world that one wonders if the law is actually present and capable of being enforced at all.
Comment: #11
Posted by: Wade
Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:29 AM
" He didn't think s/he would be caught."

This is so true throughout the structures of power in this world that one wonders if the law is actually present and capable of being enforced at all.
Comment: #12
Posted by: Wade
Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:30 AM
" He didn't think s/he would be caught."

This is so true throughout the structures of power in this world that one wonders if the law is actually present and capable of being enforced at all.
Comment: #13
Posted by: Wade
Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:30 AM
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