Grosse Pointe Insight

Note to readers: The following Roger Simon column was first published in April 1997.

WASHINGTON — It is not easy to gain true insight into the character of others. How much do we really know about anybody?

We judge our friends (and enemies) by what they do and say, by what they are for and against, and by the company they keep.

But when it comes to making truly important decisions, such as whom to marry or hire or befriend or avoid, how much do we really know? What guide, what measuring stick do we have?

Fortunately for me, I found a measuring stick a few nights ago.

It is a popular movie getting rave reviews. It is called "Grosse Pointe Blank," and I intend to use it to judge people in the future.

I am no movie critic, and I am not judging this movie on its artistic merit. I am using it solely as a tool to reveal a person's character.

Simply put, if you like "Grosse Pointe Blank," I think you are a morally bankrupt individual who is not worthy of friendship, marriage or employment ... in my opinion.

I realize others might disagree. But they would be wrong.

Movie critics are raving about this film. The newspaper ads for "Grosse Pointe Blank" contain blurbs that use the words "bright," "brilliant," "sharp," "wonderfully inventive" and "a true original."

That last appraisal may actually be accurate. This is the first movie I can remember in which a cold-blooded killer is not only portrayed as heroic but funny, warm, sensitive and totally justified in what he is doing.

It is the first movie I can remember where assassination is portrayed as an acceptable way to gain personal insight. There is nothing wrong with murder in this movie. There is everything right with it — just as long as it makes you feel better in the end.

I am not averse to action films or what a friend of mine calls "high body count" movies. They can be fun. The violence is either unreal or the victims are carefully portrayed as deserving of their deaths.

Not so in "Grosse Pointe Blank."

Here is an example, and I don't believe it will spoil the movie for you: At one point, after a comic escapade and a romantic interlude, the hero of the movie, John Cusack, kills a man by plunging an object into his throat. This is shown in gruesome detail, as is the blood-soaked corpse. After he kills the man, Cusack and a friend pick up the body and stuff it into a roaring furnace. Again, this is shown in great detail.

Yet a movie critic in Boston has called this movie "hilarious, smart and sexy."

Hilarious, smart and sexy? Really? To whom? If you come across people who watch this scene and find it hilarious, smart or sexy, I suggest you not only get far away from them, but check to see if their parole officer knows where they are.

"Grosse Pointe Blank" is supposed to be a Generation X movie.

The hero is returning home for his 10th high school reunion. The soundtrack (the only good thing about the movie) features songs by Violent Femmes, The Clash, The English Beat, The Specials, Faith No More and The Jam. The movie is supposed to be hip, bright and happening.

More importantly, it is supposed to be a movie about self-discovery. Cusack's character, an apparently brilliant high school student whose teachers expect him to go on to Harvard or Princeton, instead finds no real meaning in such activities. So, he joins the Army, becomes an assassin for the CIA, and then goes on to be a freelance murderer killing for money.

This is treated as a somewhat bizarre but not morally reprehensible activity. Cusack, who dresses all in black and takes care of his body (he insists that his omelets be made from egg whites only — he likes the protein but hates the cholesterol), is trying to find himself.

He goes back to his high school reunion in Grosse Pointe, Mich., in order to reconnect with the girl he stood up at the prom 10 years before and, also, to kill somebody for money.

After a series of laughs, romantic tussles and several gruesome deaths, Cusack finds that there is more to life than killing people. Don't read the next paragraph if you intend to see this movie.

In the end, Cusack decides not to make the hit he has been assigned because it is the father of his old girlfriend. So, he saves the man's life. But he does so by killing three other people, including two government agents. The movie then ends on a happy note. Cusack has discovered life can be beautiful and decides to go off with the girl. Fade out.

As I said, I often enjoy violent films. But what struck me about "Grosse Pointe Blank" is the message is that it is OK to do anything you want, including killing others, as long as it teaches you something important about yourself.

Cusack is portrayed as funny, charming, witty and heroic throughout the film because he is true to himself. He doesn't go in for the hypocrisy of society (college, dull job, dull marriage and so forth) but acts the way cool guys do: He has tons of money, drives a big, black rental car, talks constantly on his cell phone and is always downloading something on his laptop computer. Nobody else counts in his life, which is why he finds it easy to kill people for a living.

At the conclusion, he rides off to a happy ending, not to prison. Why? Because cool guys, who do what they do with cool soundtracks playing in the background, don't have to pay any price for their actions. Why? Because they're cool. That's why.

I realize "Grosse Pointe Blank" is just a movie, and it does have value. It can give you great insight into a person's character.

If they liked this movie, they don't have one.

To find out more about Roger Simon, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.

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