Dumbledore, Meet Bert and Ernie

Albus Dumbledore, join the crowd.

The crowd of beloved fictional characters, that is, queerer than a Paul Lynde poltergeist.

While the majority of these folks are still in the closet — and likely to remain there because most of their authors are dead — the homosexual headmaster is in illustrious company. Batman and Robin, anyone? Frodo and Sam? Bert and Ernie? Or at least Bert?

When J.K. Rowling, author of the "Harry Potter" book series, told an audience at Carnegie Hall in New York that the head of Hogwarts is gay, she was greeted with sustained applause and whooping. "I would have told you earlier if I knew it would make you so happy," she said.

Still, few could have been happier than the literary types who like to sit around speculating about which fictional beings are secretly attracted to other fictional beings of the same gender.

Such as? "The Big Bad Wolf!" publicist Richard Laermer blurted out. "He was always a little too eager to be dressed like grandma. He wore the shoes and everything. And you know who else? Elmer Fudd. In the early days of Bugs Bunny, he lived with his mother. And I know this is terrible to say, but he had a lisp and he was sort of fastidious. He was like Tony Randall. And oh my God, the most famous gay person in the history of theater: Henry Higgins . He thought he knew everything. He was an uppity queen." Come to think of it, he was.

Sherlock Holmes gets the raise of an eyebrow from San Francisco State University lecturer James Boyd. While Sherlock's sidekick, Dr. Watson, does get married in the second book, "his wife is always out of town whenever they go on their adventures," said Boyd. "At one point, (author Sir Arthur) Conan Doyle tried to kill off Holmes but then brought him back by popular demand, and in this second version, the wife completely disappears.

Watson moves in with Holmes." Hmm.

Boyd is also convinced that Marcie and Peppermint Patty of "Peanuts" fame are an item because, "Peppermint Patty always looks like she's on her way to a woman's music festival." For her part, Marcie always calls Patty "Sir." And then there's the clothing thing. "Patty wore Birkenstocks before they became cool," video artist Bob Johnson noted.

Harriet the Spy showed a similar lack of fashion sense, he said, leading many to wonder which team she's sleuthing for. "'Harriet (the Spy)' is certainly something a lot of lesbians would have read. It definitely would have been an influence on them," said author Carol Rosenfeld. But that doesn't mean that Harriet herself was gay. Many of the books that gay authors consider most influential are simply those with outsiders for heroes, including "A Catcher in the Rye" and even "The Scarlet Letter."

Then again, there are the flaming characters that influenced them, too: Thurston Howell III; Robinson Crusoe and his (main) man, Friday; Olive Oyl; Heathcliff (the man, not the cat — but maybe the cat, too); Mary Poppins (because she's strict, single and always carrying that sensible clutch); Tumnus the fawn; Milton's Satan (maybe); and, of course, pretty much everyone in "The Wizard of Oz." The executive director of the Lambda Literary Foundation, Charles Flowers, votes for the Cowardly Lion. So do I.

Peter Pan makes the list because he hangs out with a fairy and lives with a bunch of boys. So does Fagin, said Laermer. "He reminds me of (boy band impresario) Lou Pearlman."

Now Dumbledore takes his place among literature's dearest and queerest. As he did for his students at Hogwarts, he shall represent his new colleagues well.

Lenore Skenazy is a columnist at The New York Sun and Advertising Age. To find out more about Lenore Skenazy (lskenazy@yahoo.com) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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