America's Ongoing Rebellion

There's an unfortunate tendency in our country for autocratic officials to clamp down on our fundamental rights of free speech and assembly — especially when the Powers That Be don't like what we are gathering together to say. On the other hand, our country is blessed with rebels who have a fortunate tendency to push back against the autocrats.

At the 2004 Republican National Convention in New York City, protesters against the Iraq war planned a mass demonstration on what's known as the Great Lawn of Central Park. They intended to make public use of this public land, but were curtly denied a permit.

Why? Officials said that protesters would harm the grass of the Great Lawn and that an unwritten regulation only allowed crowds of 50,000 or less to be on the 13-acre lawn at one time.

Excuse us, said the protest leaders, but much larger crowds have routinely been allowed there for concerts and other events. Indeed, before our application, they said, there have been no limits on crowd size.

Go away, said the officials.

Well, while they were shut out of the people's park for the duration of the political convention, the groups did not go away. Instead, they filed suit in federal court, charging the city with unlawful denial of their First Amendment rights. Finally, after three years of litigation, city officials have backed away from their unconstitutional position and settled the case.

In this important victory for free speech, the city will pay $500,000 in legal costs that the groups incurred and officials will no longer set an arbitrary limit on protest numbers or deny access to the Great Lawn on political grounds.

Our freedom and democratic rights were not "won" for us by the founders back in the 1700s. Rather, democracy is a historic fight that we must constantly re-win — a fight that depends on Americans remaining rebellious.

READ THE FINE PRINT

It's time for another trip into the Far, Far, Far-Out Frontiers of the Free Enterprise.

Today, Spaceship Hightower takes you on a perilous journey into the dark hole of commerce known as: "Fine Print." Our intergalactic guide is Consumer Reports magazine, which always reads the fine print and reports on it monthly.

Take a squint at this ad for an exercise device, for example.

It depicts before-and-after photos of a guy who has gone from chubby to svelte. It's obvious, however, that they simply superimposed the "before" guy's head on the "after" guy's body. Still, the ad copy tells potential buyers that the two photos are "genuine" and "unretouched."

How can that be? A little footnote explains it: "Reader understands that by 'unretouched,' we may mean slightly altered."

Let's move on to a bright star of consumer brand names, Crest toothpaste. The label proudly proclaims, "This Crest is specially formulated to help prevent staining." Excellent, you might say — until you read the tiny type, which informs you that the active ingredient in the tube of tooth goo "may produce surface staining of teeth." Still, the company asserts that this product has a "unique whitening ingredient" to remove stains — apparently including removal of stains the toothpaste causes!

Here's another fine-print twist to cause consumer alarm. Nips candy changed its packaging last year to include a bold box on the front proclaiming "Value Pack!"

Always beware of corporate claims of giving you a good deal. Sure enough, the new package of Nips contains only four ounces of candy — 27 percent less than the old package. The price, however, did not drop even by a penny.

Then there's the coupon offering "10 percent off" on a service call. Except the fine print reads, "Not valid on service calls." Be careful out there.

To find out more about Jim Hightower, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

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