opinion web
Conservative Opinion General Opinion
Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
19 Mar 2011
Afraid To Watch the News, Millions Turn to Fox

Afraid To Watch the News, Millions Turn to Fox NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) — With unprecedented … Read More.

11 Mar 2011
Etch A Sketch 2 Takes Gadget World by Storm

LONG BEACH, CA (The Borowitz Report) — A new combatant entered the so-called tablet war today, and it's … Read More.

5 Mar 2011
Unemployment Rose Last Week by Two and a Half Men

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — The economic recovery received an unexpected jolt today as the Labor … Read More.

Obama Leads McCain in Frequent Flyer Miles


Could Qualify For Free Trip to Maui, Aides Say

In what some political insiders are calling a major victory for the presumptive Democratic nominee, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) easily surpassed his GOP rival, Sen. John McCain, in total frequent flyer miles for the month of July.

While polls show the two candidates locked in a close electoral race, Sen. Obama's impressive frequent flyer mile haul this month may put the contest for the most miles out of Sen. McCain's reach.

"Right now, we are feeling very good about the frequent flyer miles committed to Barack Obama," said Obama strategist David Axelrod. "John McCain would basically have to fly to Antarctica and back four times just to be in shouting distance of us."

Mr. Axelrod said that one benefit of Sen. Obama's impressive pile of frequent flyer miles was tangible and immediate: "With the miles already committed to him, Barack Obama qualifies for a free trip to Maui."

In the McCain camp, aides went to great lengths to send the message that they were unconcerned about Sen.

Obama's daunting frequent flyer mile lead, even while privately admitting that the Arizona senator's recent itinerary may have worked against him.

"Obama was flying to Afghanistan, Iraq and Germany, racking up tons and tons of miles," one aide said. "John basically went to Wilkes-Barre and Altoona."

But the aide was dismissive of Sen. Obama's impressive edge in frequent flyer miles, arguing that mileage rewards were "meaningless" to the McCain campaign: "If John really needs to fly somewhere, he can just take Cindy's jet."

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book "The Republican Playbook." To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at



0 Comments | Post Comment
Already have an account? Log in.
New Account  
Your Name:
Your E-mail:
Your Password:
Confirm Your Password:

Please allow a few minutes for your comment to be posted.

Enter the numbers to the right: comments policy
Andy Borowitz
Mar. `11
Su Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa
27 28 1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31 1 2
About the author About the author
Write the author Write the author
Printer friendly format Printer friendly format
Email to friend Email to friend
View by Month
Froma Harrop
Froma HarropUpdated 9 Feb 2016
Marc Dion
Marc DionUpdated 8 Feb 2016
Mark Shields
Mark ShieldsUpdated 6 Feb 2016

16 Feb 2008 Obama Wins Country Music Entertainer of the Year

5 Jan 2008 Hillary Repackages Herself as a Black Man

1 Sep 2007 Gonzales to Spend More Time Eavesdropping on His Family