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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
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Obama Leads McCain in Frequent Flyer Miles

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Could Qualify For Free Trip to Maui, Aides Say

In what some political insiders are calling a major victory for the presumptive Democratic nominee, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) easily surpassed his GOP rival, Sen. John McCain, in total frequent flyer miles for the month of July.

While polls show the two candidates locked in a close electoral race, Sen. Obama's impressive frequent flyer mile haul this month may put the contest for the most miles out of Sen. McCain's reach.

"Right now, we are feeling very good about the frequent flyer miles committed to Barack Obama," said Obama strategist David Axelrod. "John McCain would basically have to fly to Antarctica and back four times just to be in shouting distance of us."

Mr. Axelrod said that one benefit of Sen. Obama's impressive pile of frequent flyer miles was tangible and immediate: "With the miles already committed to him, Barack Obama qualifies for a free trip to Maui."

In the McCain camp, aides went to great lengths to send the message that they were unconcerned about Sen.

Obama's daunting frequent flyer mile lead, even while privately admitting that the Arizona senator's recent itinerary may have worked against him.

"Obama was flying to Afghanistan, Iraq and Germany, racking up tons and tons of miles," one aide said. "John basically went to Wilkes-Barre and Altoona."

But the aide was dismissive of Sen. Obama's impressive edge in frequent flyer miles, arguing that mileage rewards were "meaningless" to the McCain campaign: "If John really needs to fly somewhere, he can just take Cindy's jet."

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book "The Republican Playbook." To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE



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