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Alexander Cockburn
Alexander Cockburn
25 May 2012
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Can Any of These Republicans Win? Can Obama Lose?

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They're off and running! Last Sunday saw the first debate for the Republican presidential nomination. (Actually, there was an earlier "first Republican debate" in South Carolina on May 5, but none of the big guns showed up, so it's been erased from the history books.) Anyway, this one was in New Hampshire. In the old days, a candidate had to win the primary there. Not anymore, but candidates and journalists still flock north to the Granite State.

Don't worry if you missed it. There will be many, many more debates, all conducted in the idiom of political infantilism, as was bleakly conceded by David Brooks, The New York Times' leading Republican columnist, himself the retailer of noxious policies at a more devious level.

"The Republican growth agenda — tax cuts and nothing else — is stupefyingly boring, fiscally irresponsible and politically impossible," Brooks moaned. "Gigantic tax cuts — if they were affordable — might boost overall growth, but they would do nothing to address the structural problems that are causing a working-class crisis.

"Republican politicians don't design policies to meet specific needs, or even to help their own working-class voters. They use policies as signaling devices — as ways to reassure the base that they are 100 percent orthodox."

There were seven of them lined up, and the single woman, the fiery Rep. Michele Bachmann, was acclaimed the winner the next day simply because she elected to wear the mantle of relative sanity for a few hours. She made no excessively preposterous onslaughts on history, as her rival Sarah Palin had just done by claiming that Paul Revere had undertaken his famous ride to warn the British of an impending uprising.

Espying lips unmarred by the foam of political delirium, journalists raised cheers for Bachmann. At this rate, they'll be calling this toast of the tea party "statesmanlike" by the third debate.

Palin herself was a no-show. So was the current favorite of the Republican elite, Jon Huntsman Jr. He's a former governor of Utah, more recently U.S. ambassador to China and now burdened with a lethal thumbs-up from Henry Kissinger, who praises Hunstman as a "very intelligent man" and "a very good ambassador" to China and a credible Republican candidate. Kissinger added that he doesn't do formal endorsements because when he does, his choice plummets to disaster.

Huntsman has the advantage of having a billionaire dad in the form of Huntsman Sr., who made a fortune out of Styrofoam packing, which Americans spend many hours a day picking out of their carpets after opening the day's haul from eBay.

Huntsman is a Mormon, thus putting two in the race this time. Mormon Mitt Romney, defeated for the nomination by McCain in 2008, is back again. He's reneged on his best-known achievement (aside from putting his dog in a cage on the roof of his car), the health plan he engineered when governor of Massachusetts, regarded by the tea party crowd as the harbinger of hated "Obamacare." He'd no doubt like to give up being a Mormon because all evidence suggests that Americans don't care for the idea of a Mormon in the White House. The right-wingers prefer fundamentalist Christians, and your average middle-of-the-road nonbeliever prefers astrology, which is why they liked Ron and Nancy Reagan, who had astrologists counseling them at all times.

So much for Huntsman and Romney.

Newt Gingrich is a busted flush. His entire senor staff quit on him on this week, claiming Gingrich was under the thumb of his third wife, Callista, whose form he has bedizened with half a million dollars worth of jewelry from Van Cleef & Arpels. It seems Gingrich is her love slave, dumping all political business whenever she crooks her finger and demands a restoring jaunt to the Caribbean.

He also briefly attacked the lunacy — de rigueur for all Republican candidates — of pledging to end Medicare.

Ron Paul, the libertarian assailant of America's wars, often sounds like a Grade A crank, calling for abolition of Medicare and Social Security, though his denunciation of Obama's wars did raise a cheer.

The only black contender, Herman Cain — founder of Godfather's Pizza — did not put up a convincing showing. Nor did Tim Pawlenty, former governor of Minnesota, who wimped out on the opportunity to punch Romney on the nose for his health plan, even though he was standing right next to him. Rich Santorum brought up the rear.

It has to be said, imbecility was in evidence on both sides of the footlights. The questions from the so-called labor and intellectual spokeswomen/men were not always of a high standard.

Huntsman is scheduled to formally announce his candidacy next Tuesday, in the shadow of the State of Liberty. The only other name being bandied is Gov. Rick Perry of Texas, but he'd better hurry up.

Does this crowd of Republican nutballs mean that Obama is going to canter home in 2012, assuming his family lets him?

The big threat to Obama's re-election is not his family, but the economy, where the news is very bad.

The recovery is failing. The most recent figures show the economy growing at an annual rate of just 1.8 percent. Manufacturing is at its slowest pace of growth in 20 months. Employers hired only 54,000 new workers in May, the lowest number in eight months. Jobless claims increased to 427,000 in the week ended June 4. Nearly half of all unemployed Americans have been without work for more than six months. More than 44 million Americans — one in seven — rely on food stamps. The unemployment rate rose to 9.1 percent.

The record in presidential races suggests that if unemployment is higher than 7 percent, things look bleak for the incumbent.

Obama can rely on support from the left — even though from a left perspective, his record is in many ways worse, as regards war and constitutional issues, than George Bush's.

Years ago, I remember Auberon Waugh electioneering in Fulham, England, in a challenge to the Labour and Conservative candidates. Waugh was outraged by the betrayal of Biafra, a chunk of Nigeria that had dared to secede in the late 1960s. Catholics, from the pope to Waugh, backed Biafra. Not the Labour government, whose foreign secretary, Michael Stewart, MP for Fulham, stuck firmly to stentorian support for oil-producing Nigeria. About a million people died.

"People of Fulham," I remember Waugh bellowing to a modest throng, "an awful choice confronts you: the choice between a mass murderer and an imbecile."

But then, the American political system right now is hospitable to imbeciles and has always had a soft streak for them. Obama is certainly a mass murderer if you count up his wars and body counts of innocent bystanders. But then, the American political system has been hospitable to mass murderers, too.

Alexander Cockburn is co-editor with Jeffrey St. Clair of the muckraking newsletter CounterPunch. He is also co-author of the new book "Dime's Worth of Difference: Beyond the Lesser of Two Evils," available through www.counterpunch.com. To find out more about Alexander Cockburn and read features by other columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2011 CREATORS.COM


Comments

5 Comments | Post Comment
AC is right to remember A Waugh...in particular about Biafra... The left ganged up on Biafra back then... But he should have been a bit more positive about Ron Paul... Anti War...anti the drug control state... He is a difficult choice because he forces The issue that if you take one ofthe government programs they have you... Condom it would e great theatre if he was the republican candidate...maybe finally end Tye possible delusion that Americas have as being rugged individuals who love to suck on govt tit
Comment: #1
Posted by: Thomas McGonigle
Fri Jun 17, 2011 4:10 AM
Please ignore terrible typos of previous post.... Free six packs for those who circle All the mistakes correctly
Comment: #2
Posted by: Thomas McGonigle
Fri Jun 17, 2011 4:12 AM
LBJ killed three million Vietnamese for nothing, 50,000 young American soliders died for nothing.

George W's "mistake" about WMDs killed 100,000 minimum innocent Iraq civilians, for nothing
4,000+ young American soliders died for nothing.

Puppet/ Change Miester President Obamabush has continuned and increased the madness at home and abroad

The real change that the American people craved during the Bush W. years now applies to Obama

WE WANT CHANGE FORM OBAMA, is that so hard to grasp.

Obama is what was.

Go RON PAUL
Comment: #3
Posted by: Soothsayer
Sat Jun 18, 2011 11:38 AM
"...Sarah Palin had just done by claiming that Paul Revere had undertaken his famous ride to warn the British of an impending uprising."

I was listening to NPR the other day and the Historian they had on said that Palin had it mostly right, Revere did stop to warn the British that the Colonists would not surrender their guns. It was not the focus of his ride, but it did play a small role in the event.

I'm not a big fan of Palin, but the left always claims the candidates on the right are not intelligent. They repeat this over and over, knowing it is not true. The big genius at 1600 Pennsylvania is straitjacketed by ideology, and continues to harm this country economically. It is his economy now, face it. Palin's emails do not speak of a fool, rather of a serious administrator tackling issues and getting results. Fool yourself, but don't lie about the intelligence of those who oppose you. It is obvious that Palin is the candidate that most scares Obamites, even Marc Dion stoops to take a whack at her. She's been treated abominably, one look in the mirror and the left would know how ugly they have been to her. Maybe the whole left isn't smart enough for Palin. Repeat that. Then repeat that again. Then again.


Comment: #4
Posted by: Tom
Sat Jun 18, 2011 3:37 PM
The problem with you, Mr. Cockburn, is that you seem always to assume that every one of your targets is diabolically aware of the paranoia-based suppositions you assign to the consequences of their acts, and fully agrees with you on those outcomes.

For example, Mr. Brooks is incredibly naive and at times down right stupid. I don't think I will ever be able to get out of my mind his characterization of our imminent invasion of Iraq, way back when, as a "noble cause." That phrase is quite the stuff of nightmares.

The problem is, it was not part of a "devious" strategy on his part to sell a political product. He really believed it. As did the ethanol-soaked warmongering herd that felt a stamped coming on and just couldn't resist.

Your cynicism crushes any ability you might have to stand up and see into the future. It has also disconnected your brain from your gut, robbing you of common sense.

Here's one your waitless brain may have floated right past. Romney might just find himself (he probably has a greater chance of doing that than you) and actually embrace what he did for Massachussets and history. That was, after all, an act of true leadership. He might just decide to own it and propose a path forward on this and other major fiscal conundrums we are facing.

He is by far and away the most capable of doing so. Too bad you have just about zero cache with anyone who has anything resembling political influence. Otherwise, you might challenge him to do so. He is the only Republican in the mix with a brain right now, and he can even, believe it or not, teach the royal Obama a thing or two.

His brain is probably too disconnected from his gut to do that, suffering as he does from a syndrome similar to yours, but who knows, if challenged in the right way by a groomer of leaders, he just might.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Masako
Sat Jun 18, 2011 6:32 PM
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