Wellnews by Scott LaFee

Among animal behavioralists, it's been widely known that some species like chimpanzees self-medicate just like humans; seeking out medicinal herbs, for example, to treat what ails them.

The list of animal pharmacists is getting longer and ever more unlikely. A recent study found that house sparrows and finches appear to add high-nicotine cigarette butts to their nests to reduce mite infestations. Similarly, wood ants incorporate an antimicrobial resin from conifer trees into colonies to prevent microbial growth. And numerous insects lay eggs on specific plants to confer specific health benefits to their hatched young.

"Perhaps the biggest surprise for us was that animals like fruit flies and butterflies can choose food for their offspring that minimizes the impacts of disease in the next generation," said Mark Hunter, an ecologist at the University of Michigan. "There are strong parallels with the emerging field of epigenetics in humans, where we now understand that dietary choices made by parents influence the long-term health of their children.

Birds do it. Bees do it. Why not humans, too.

BODY OF KNOWLEDGE

One square inch of skin contains, on average, four yards of nerve fibers and 100 sweat glands.

GET ME THAT. STAT!

French researchers report that children who suffer from migraine headaches are more likely to have experienced infantile colic than those without migraines (72.6 percent versus 26.5 percent).

NUMBER CRUNCHER

A serving of Taco Bell's XXL steak nachos (503 grams) contains 1,200 calories, 558 from fat. It has 62 grams of total fat or 95 percent of the recommended total fat intake for a 2,000-calorie daily diet.

It also contains 80 milligrams of cholesterol (27 percent), 1,930 mg of sodium (80 percent), 117 grams of total carbohydrates (39 percent), 17 g of dietary fiber (68 percent), 7 g of sugar and 45 g of protein.

STORIES FOR THE WAITING ROOM

Generally speaking, men make lousy patients — when you can actually get them to see a doctor.

Males comprise just 41 percent of visits to the doctor's office nationally. Their top reasons for not seeking medical attention: not sick enough. Not obviously sick. Prefer to self-treat. Lack of time. No health insurance. Don't like doctors. Afraid the doctor will find something wrong with them.

A couple of years ago, an Omaha-based family physician named Jeffry (CQ) Hatcher posted his top five reasons why a man does go to the doctor: 1) His wife, girlfriend or mother dragged him there. 2) He thinks he's going to die. 3) He was injured at work or play. 4) He's depressed or stressed, usually work-related. 5) Erectile dysfunction.

PHOBIA OF THE WEEK

Ommetaphobia — Fear of eyes

NEVER SAY DIET

The Major League Eating speed-eating record for sandwiches of date nut bread and cream cheese is 29.5 in 8 minutes, held by Patrick Bertoletti. Warning: Most of these records are held by professional eaters; the rest by people who really should find something better to do.

OBSERVATION

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso." —Comedian Rita Rudner

CURTAIN CALLS

Sigurd Eysteinsson, also known as "Sigurd the Mighty," ruled a Viking empire between 875 — 892 AD. During his reign, he went to war against another leader named Mael Brigte. Eysteinsson killed Brigte, severed his head and strapped it to his saddle as a trophy. Reportedly, Brigte's teeth grazed against Sigurd's leg, creating a wound that became seriously infected and ultimately killed Eysteinsson.

To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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