Wellnews by Scott LaFee

Was Scrooge really Australian? You might think so, judging from a study coming out of Australia's Monash University, which concludes that the modern-day image of Santa Claus promotes obesity, drunken driving, speeding and a generally unhealthy lifestyle.

"Epidemiologically, there is a correlation between countries that venerate Santa Claus and those that have high levels of childhood obesity," the researchers write. The link isn't firmly established, they say, but there "is a possibility that Santa promotes a message that obesity is synonymous with cheerfulness and joviality."

Writing in the British Medical Journal, public health expert Nathan Grills suggested Santa go on a diet and stop eating the Christmas Eve sweets left by children. He's free, however, to eat the carrots left for the reindeer if he gets really hungry. Nix, too, on the glasses of brandy and sherry left by parents.

Grills, who apparently doesn't care if he's on the nice-or-naughty list, had other recommendations: Santa should swap his sleigh for a bike or other more health-promoting conveyance. He should wear a helmet. He should drop the pipe-smoking habit. And he should ban the seasonal pandemic of Santa impersonators, who serve as potential infectious disease vectors by allowing dozens of children to cough and sneeze on them while sitting on their laps.

REEFER BADNESS

A study of Canadian teenagers, among the largest consumers of cannabis worldwide, found that smoking the illicit drug is harder on young brains than originally thought. Writing in the journal Neurobiology of Disease, researchers at McGill University in Montreal said daily consumption of cannabis in teens can cause significant depression and anxiety and have an irreversible long-term effect on the brain.

The study keyed upon the interaction between cannabis and two important neurotransmitters in the brain — serotonin and norepinephrine, which help regulate functions such as mood control and anxiety.

"Teenagers who are exposed to cannabis have decreased serotonin transmission, which leads to mood disorders, as well as increased norepinephrine transmission, which leads to greater long-term susceptibility to stress," said Dr. Gabriella Gobbi, one of the study's authors.

The study is the first to focus upon the neurobiological mechanisms at the root of cannabis' influence on depression and anxiety, and the first to show that consumption of the drug causes more serious damage during adolescence than adulthood.

GET ME THAT.

STAT!

Within two years of having sex for the first time, half of teenage girls contract at least one of three common sexually transmitted infections, according to a published study by researchers at the Indiana University School of Medicine. The three STIs are chlamydia, gonorrhea and trichomoniasis.

STORIES FOR THE WAITING ROOM

Playing a line position for a college football team involves lots of high-intensity exercise, but it doesn't protect players from obesity, related health problems or a greater risk of cardiovascular disease later in life, researchers say.

An assessment of 90 college football players on one team found that only the offensive and defensive linemen were deemed obese with 25 percent or more body fat. Among these obese linemen, almost 60 percent were insulin-resistant and 42 percent had metabolic syndrome or at least three of five risk factors for developing heart disease or diabetes.

"I think the perception out there is that football players, at every level, are getting bigger," said James Borchers, an assistant professor of clinical family medicine at Ohio State University and study author. "But I think players need to recognize that as they get into unhealthy levels of body fat, there's a risk that comes along with that. And you're not protected from that risk just because you're active in football."

MEDTRONICA

Quackwatch

quackwatch.org

This long-running site, operated by a doctor, chronicles and highlights assorted medical scams, frauds and misinformation. Its scope is vast, with 21 distinct links to separate, controversial subjects like autism, chiropractic dentistry and multilevel marketing. The information is presented simply, without hyperbole. In addition, there are sections on legal cases, medical sanctions, licensing boards and regulatory actions against questionable medical products.

PHOBIA OF THE WEEK

Dishabiliophobia — fear of undressing in front of someone

OBSERVATION

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

— Comedian Jack Benny (1894-1974)

CURTAIN CALLS

Two brothers in Los Angeles decided to remove a bees' nest from a backyard shed using an illegal firecracker. They lit the fuse and ran back inside their house. The explosion was large enough to blow in a window of the house, cutting one of the brothers seriously enough to require medical attention.

Rushing to the car to get to a hospital, the injured brother was stung three times by surviving, angry bees. Neither brother knew the stung brother was dangerously allergic to bee venom. He died of asphyxiation on the way to the emergency room.

To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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