Wellnews by Scott LaFee

Japanese scientists say they are developing a statistical computer program that can analyze a baby's crying to determine whether the child is sleepy, hungry, in need of a diaper change or in pain.

Researchers at Muroran Institute of Technology used a sound pattern recognition program to classify different types of crying, correlating the audio spectra with babies' emotional states as confirmed by parents.

Much research remains, but the scientists said the technology might one day be incorporated into baby monitors or other devices to help parents or caregivers decide what to do when a child is crying.

MEDTRONICA

Descipher

descipher.com

You've got your lab test results. Your doctor has explained them. You didn't understand much. Your best bet, of course, is to ask the doctor to go over the results again, slowly this time. But you can also visit here. Punch in your results (a series of templates guides you), and automated software explains what they mean in terms of relevant diseases and conditions. It's no substitute for talking to a real doc, but the system might provide some useful insights.

THE UPSIDE OF BEING THICKHEADED

Canadian researchers report that people can reduce their sensitivity to pain by thickening their brain.

And how, exactly, does one do that?

Be more Zen-like.

Physiologists at the University of Montreal compared gray matter thickness of practitioners of Zen meditation with non-meditators. They found evidence that doing Zen meditation seemed to physically reinforce the anterior cingulate, a central portion of the brain that regulates pain.

"The often painful posture associated with Zen meditation may lead to thicker cortex and lower pain sensitivity," explained Joshua Grant, a doctor student who authored the study.

Grant said such meditative practices could be helpful for general pain management — to prevent the normal age-related diminishing of gray matter and to ameliorate conditions like strokes where gray matter has been compromised.

OBSERVATION

Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.

— American humorist Calvin Trillin

PHOBIA OF THE WEEK

Rhabdophobia — fear of being beaten

STORIES FOR THE WAITING ROOM

In ancient China, physicians were often paid when their patients remained well. If a patient became sick, the doctor paid the patient.

Similarly, in fifth-century France and Spain, Visigoth rulers required doctors to leave a cash deposit with the family of each patient. If the patient died, the doctor forfeited his deposit and could not collect his bill.

GET ME THAT. STAT!

After remaining stable for two decades, the average number of hours worked per week by American doctors decreased by about 7 percent between 1996 and 2008, according to a report in the Journal of the American Medical Association. The average workweek now is about 51 hours.

EPITAPHS

Here lies one Wood

Enclosed in wood

One Wood

Within another.

The outer wood

Is very good:

We cannot praise

The other.

— Gravestone of Beza Wood of Winslow, Maine, who died in 1837, apparently without friends

To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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