Wellnews by Scott LaFee

In the 2000 movie "High Fidelity," record store proprietor and lovesick boyfriend Rob Gordon (played by John Cusack) bemoans the misery and the music: "Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"

In honor of Valentine's Day, we tackle Rob's question scientifically. Or rather, we turn to a 2010 study by a trio of French (naturellement!) psychologists at the Universite de Bretagne-Sud.

Given that previous research has shown that aggressive song lyrics increase aggressive behavior on the part of listeners, the French scientists looked at what might happen to 18- to 20-year-old females exposed to either romantic lyrics or neutral ones. (The test was conducted while the women sat in a room, ostensibly waiting to participate in another experiment.)

After five minutes of listening to romantic music, each woman was asked to take a marketing survey conducted by a handsome male interviewer. During a break, the interviewer asked each woman for her phone number.

The result: Women who had listened to romantic tunes were much more inclined to provide the number than those who heard neutral songs.

BODY OF KNOWLEDGE

The average speed of human sperm is 8 inches per hour.

NUMBER CRUNCHER

A single serving of corn nuts (48 grams) contains 220 calories, 72 from fat. It has 8 grams of total fat or 12 percent of the recommended total fat intake for a 2,000-calorie daily diet.

It contains zero cholesterol; 280 milligrams of sodium (12 percent); 35 grams of total carbohydrates (12 percent); 2 g of dietary fiber (8 percent) and 4 g of protein.

COUNTS

133 million — Estimated number of Americans with a chronic disease

25 — Percentage who have two or more chronic conditions

1.5 — Annual estimated medical costs, in trillions of dollars, associated with chronic condition patients

75 — Chronic care costs as percentage of overall U.S.

healthcare spending

70 — Percentage of annual U.S. deaths linked to chronic conditions

Source: Institute of Medicine

STORIES FOR THE WAITING ROOM

The Institute of Medicine recently highlighted the nine chronic conditions that dominate American medicine and account for the bulk of healthcare spending (see counts). The conditions are:

Arthritis (affects 50 million U.S. adults); cancer survivorship (12 million); chronic pain (116 million); dementia (5.4 million); depression (20.3 million); type 2 diabetes (25.6 million); post-traumatic disability (no total number available); schizophrenia (2 million); and hearing and vision loss (34 million and 25 million, respectively).

DOC TALK

Actinic keratosis — scaly, colored patches of skin on the face, scalp, neck, arms or hands caused by accumulated sun exposure. The keratosis usually appear later in life and have no other symptoms, though many doctors consider them precancerous because they can turn into skin cancer.

PHOBIA OF THE WEEK

Gephyrophobia — fear of bridges

NEVER SAY DIET

The world's speed-eating record for birthday cake is 5 pounds in 11 minutes, held by Richard LeFevre.

BEST MEDICINE

Hypochondriac: "Doc, the left side of my body really hurts. I think I have appendicitis."

Doc: "Your appendix is on the right side of your body."

Hypochondriac: "That must be why it hurts so much. It's on the wrong side."

OBSERVATION

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

— American comedian Steven Wright

CURTAIN CALLS

A Ford Motor Co. worker named Robert Williams is believed to be the first person to be killed by a robot when the arm of a one-ton factory robot struck him in the head in 1979.

To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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