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Time to Take the Pull-Ups Off

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Q. I have an almost 3 1/2-year-old daughter who refuses to sit on a potty chair! She's very bright and articulate, but "oppositional" in that she says she prefers diapers. She uses Pull-Ups and tells us after the fact that she had a bowel movement or peed. She's the middle child of four. She's a strong-willed little tyke who is resistant to bribes and treats.

A. It's past time for your daughter to be potty trained, so you can feel comfortable telling her that she absolutely can't wear Pull-Ups during the day anymore. Let her help you select training panties. Stay near home for a few days to work on potty training. Hopefully, you can do this while the weather is warm enough for her to be outside in the backyard some of the day. Despite your past experience with bribes, give your daughter a sticker for each success on the potty and praise her mightily. She could even save her stickers for a small gift for each 10 stickers.

Reserve the Pull-Ups for any visits you must make to other people's homes or public places. If you are able to stay home to concentrate on potty training for a few days, you should be able to train your daughter fairly quickly because of her age. The night training will likely follow soon after she has the joy of feeling like a "big girl" during the day, although for some children, night training is much later than for others.

Charmin's website has a free Potty Training Kit download with a chart, a book, stickers and hints that I've found very helpful and effective at http://www.charmin.com/en_us/pages/pt_download.shtml. In your daughter's case, you'll have to insist on absolutely no Pull-Ups while training takes place.

For a free newsletter about raising preschoolers, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below.

Children Learn to Say Goodbye

Q.

I have a 4-year-old niece. I've lived on the other side of the country for the past year now, but would like to see her when I come to visit. Her mother doesn't think it's a good idea right now because she said that she cried daily and asked to see me for months after my last visit. Do you think the mother's point is valid? I would like to know your thoughts on the situation.

A. The fact that your niece missed you should be a good reason for you to visit again. She'll be happy to see you and no doubt, she'll be sorry to see you leave again. She will gradually learn that some people she loves, like her mom and dad, stay with her while other people she loves come and go. Learning to say goodbye can be hard for young children, but it's part of their normal development.

Your sister or sister-in-law may have a different agenda than she's stating. She may personally prefer that you not visit. It would be best if you could talk that through with her. Perhaps the best compromise would be to make this visit a short one, so that you're visiting your niece, but not imposing.

For a free newsletter about the influence of aunts, uncles and cousins, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM


Comments

2 Comments | Post Comment
I am writing to you about our "not for profit" Enuresis treatment. We cannot afford expensive advertisement and we sometimes get response from letters to treatment centers on the Internet.

Hargitt House Enuresis Treatment Center is a non-for-profit foundation. For twenty-nine (29) years we have successfully cured children who wet the bed. Our cure rate is based on the strict use of our instructions. We use a natural and organic diet that is temporary. After the child is totally dry for seven nights in a row, we instruct the parents with a very "exact" restoration of the foods and drinks. This diet follows many of Dr. Doris Rapp's research pertaining to children's diet problems

We are communicating with the families by computer, Monday thru Friday, and with a manual that has been proven to be a better way to treat children. We have discovered that children respond to us better if there are no embarrassing trips to a strange place, to talk to a strange person, or if a strange lady comes to to their home to talk about this very sensitive problem. We answer the parent's questions emailed to us by printing the answer under their question and returning the email sometimes as soon as we receive the question. Then we ask that the parent print the page and make a journal for reference.

We do not claim miracles. We tell parents in the beginning that it takes work to break into that deep sleep, but we guarantee our treatment if the parents follow instructions for the average six to eight weeks. Illness or injury can cause the treatment to last longer because of medications.

Our treatment was developed by doctors and therapists and research analysts. Dr. Berry Warshaw, MD was an Associate Professor and Chief of Pediatric Nephrology at Emory University School of Medicine. PBS, Public Broadcasting System, produced a documentary discussing the brutal treatment of children by their parents. They asked Dr. Warshaw to speak because he had worked with an especially brutal case of a murdered child who would not stop wetting the bed. PBS was shocked because he gave new evidence on the shameful subject of wetting the bed. He had studied the problem and had determined 90% of all enuretics were “Deep Sleepers”! The enuretics cannot help wetting the bed!! The parents punished the children because they thought the child was just being lazy.

95% of the parents we talk to now realize that it is not laziness, it is deep sleep...The brain in deep sleep has no control of that body function at night. We have learned through years of research that we can break open a small window in this deep sleep in order to "down-load" data into the brain as you would download data into a computer.

We have been included in several Ann Landers and Dear Abbey columns praising our treatment. Some urologists have recommended us to their patients because doctors do not have the time to give instructions and answer questions, Monday through Friday, every week until a child is dry. They give pills, stretch bladders and some surgery, but we have proven that the pills do not work. 97% of the children we treat who have tried the pills reported the pills work for a while, then they start wetting the bed again. Most reported they never worked at all.

We do not treat children until we ask about their physical condition. We do not interfere with any treatment prescribed by doctors. If they have to have continued medications we ask that they explain our treatment to their doctor. Sometimes it is difficult if the medications cause tiring or sleepiness. We also find that ADHD sometiimes becomes easier to control after the child has become dry. We always ask if they are in treatment for a more serious form kidney or bladder disease. In fact we suggest to the parent that they take our manual to the doctor. If you would be interested in discussing our treatment our home website is:
hargitthousefoundation.com

If it is basic enuresis, we except them. We only charge $550.00 for our treatment which covers the treatment costs of communication and and materials. We are "not-for-profit". We are the research entity for Hargitt House Enuresis Treatment Center. We try to treat children that cannot afford to pay for our treatment. We know that times are very stressful financially, so we are offering our treatment temporarally for $425.00

Go to our web page: info@hargitthousefoundation.com

Joy Woods,
President

Tracey Jeffcote,
Executive Chairwomen



Comment: #1
Posted by: Joy Woods
Mon Sep 21, 2009 9:38 AM
I would not recommend Hargitt House at all and here's why;

I contacted them, and used their alarm system for my son when he was 6 years old to stop night-time bed-wetting. We followed the directions exactly as they stated. The alarm was so loud it did wake him up, and he QUICKLY stopped wetting the bed. He's nearly 13 now and never wets the bed. He gets out of bed and wets the floor. His brain is still trying to avoid that obnoxious alarm. AND, I have called and left messages, and emailed these people to find out a solution to this. It's been three years and STILL no response. If I had it to do over, I would never have used the alarm system. I just pray he will someday outgrow this.
Comment: #2
Posted by: sotelling
Thu Jun 9, 2011 10:05 PM
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