Q: I'm at my wits' end. My daughter has Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder. She is very witty and intelligent, but she has a hard time obeying authority and getting along with people. She's been this way since she was 18 months old. She's now 14, in the ninth grade, and on medication. Are there any programs/therapy that teaches teens how to get along with peers? I'm in the Atlanta area.
A: There's no doubt that learning social skills is important for all teens and children who have ADHD problems and sometimes inappropriate social skills. Most counselors are trained to help children learn social skills, and group therapy is often available. Your daughter's psychiatrist or physician can probably recommend someone in your area.
Fortunately, there are also many books that can be helpful, especially to girls. Publishers like American Girl and Free Spirit Publishing provide many books on social skills, and if your daughter is sensitive to her problem, she'll probably appreciate them. In addition to therapy, you might even enjoy sharing some of these books with your daughter and talking them over as you read them together. I know you would find my own book, "See Jane Win For Girls" (Free Spirit Press, 2003), helpful to your daughter.
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Q: I am a very responsible parent of a 1-year-old. My girlfriend and I would like to know how to make a baby be quiet without taping its mouth shut. My daughter won't stop crying.
Please answer as soon as possible!
A: You may absolutely feel like taping your daughter's mouth shut, but please don't ever, ever do that. A 1-year-old baby that cries continuously is undoubtedly having a serious problem. I assume you've ruled out hunger and you've fed her enough. Your next step is urgent — you should get her to a physician to talk about that crying. The doctor will ask you when and under what circumstances she's crying.
The continuous crying could be caused by many physical problems or by allergies. The doctor may have to do some tests or scans to help identify possible problems. I'm sure you've tried holding her to comfort her, but I know that parents can't hold a baby all day and night. After the doctor has ruled out all medical problems, if the baby is still crying, you could see a psychologist or a parenting expert to guide you in parenting. If there isn't a health problem, you'll find you can quickly learn to ease your baby's discomfort and enjoy her. By one year, babies can be in very nice routines if there's nothing medically wrong.
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Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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