Q: I'm a mom of three young girls (ages 6, 4 and 3) and in need of some advice. We were told that my 6-year-old was approaching the upper limit of normal weight at her recent checkup. The problem is that she's very competitive regarding food. I'll make ravioli or chicken nuggets for the family and before she's even finished what's on her plate, she's looking for more out of the pot or will steal some off her sisters' plates. She'll steal food when they aren't looking and she hasn't even finished the serving I've given her. She'll even wait at the table at the meal's end to see if her sisters finish their meals, and when they leave the table, she's looking to clear their plates of what she likes.

My daughter always notes how much I give to her and her sisters and wants the biggest portion. I've resorted to giving all three the same amount to decrease the competition, even knowing that my 3-year-old won't eat the same amount as the older girls. I don't know how to handle this. Do I only make enough for one serving each? That doesn't really help with her taking from off her sisters' plates. She stuffs her face as though she hasn't eaten in days so she can finish first in order to get a second helping of corn or potatoes before someone else (including myself or my husband). Will making only enough for one serving each help solve the problem?

Should I plan an activity for after dinner to take the emphasis off of food? If I plan a craft, game or special book, will she try to finish eating what I give her and rush off to the special activity rather than look for more food? I've tried to research this online but can't find anything relevant on the subject. I'd greatly appreciate any help or advice you can share with me. — Frustrated Mom of Three

A: Dear Frustrated Mom of Three: I'm glad to hear that your 6-year-old isn't overweight but only approaching that possibility. It's always easier to teach her about appropriate eating before she's overweight. You can start by serving everyone small portions. Explain that it's healthier to eat slowly so you can have happy conversations during the meal and give your body time to digest the food, which lets the eater know that he or she is no longer hungry. You can certainly let your daughters know they can have a second small portion if they'd like, as long as it's healthy food. Be sure to serve healthy vegetables that can help fill them up without adding a lot of weight gain. Also, you can start every meal with a salad, which is both healthy and filling.

I also love your idea of planning activities for after your meal. Now that daylight saving time is here and spring is near, you may even be able to add outdoor activities. Taking family walks or bike rides are great ways to enjoy each other actively. The crafts and indoor games don't produce exercise, but they can be great fun when the weather is too hot, cold or raining.

You might need some help planning meals that are lower in calories but are still healthy and filling. Your pediatrician could recommend a registered dietician. Usually, a few sessions are enough to guide you in planning healthier meals.

My book "Rescuing the Emotional Lives of Overweight Children" will be helpful to you in understanding some of the psychological issues related to being overweight. It's important not to make meals into battlegrounds and competitions. Also, emphasize healthy eating and exercise rather than focusing on what the scale says is crucial, for all three of your daughters.

For free newsletters about "Rescuing The Emotional Lives Of Overweight Children" and/or Raising Girls with Optimism and Resilience, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope for each newsletter to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or [email protected]. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.