Q: Last year in kindergarten, my grandson's teacher brought up the fact that she believes my grandson has ADHD. Several of our friends and I do not see it. This year, the school counselor believes he has Asperger's Disorder. I do not believe this either. He is a smart and lovable child. He can read "Green Eggs and Ham" by himself. He uses big words and knows what they mean. He gives big hugs and plays well with others.
My daughter has state insurance and has started him on meds without any testing that I am aware of (not even IQ). I believe there may be a problem, but I do not think they have it right. He can't stand continuous sounds at a certain pitch. He will start screaming "the noise is driving me crazy." I would like to see my grandson get help, but he needs the proper help. There must be other children and parents in the same situation.
Can you give me any advice on where to go or what to do? My daughter is not well off financially. It seems children are at the mercy of the school and state health care systems. Our children are our future. Can you please, please help?
A: Your letter reminds me of a poster I've seen in many airports. It shows a picture of a cute little boy and says, "He's a child, not a diagnosis." Your grandson sounds like a very nice child, but it also does sound as if he's having some real problems. It's true that sometimes there is overdiagnosing and overmedicating of children for their problems, but, of course, I couldn't actually tell you if he's been diagnosed correctly.
Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) struggle with overactivity, impulsivity and inattention.
Almost all children sometimes struggle with any of these characteristics, but if it's a disorder, they have more extreme problems that interfere with their learning in school and their behaviors at home. Asperger's Disorder may include ADHD characteristics, but it also involves serious problems with social skills and responding to and understanding others' emotions. Again, social perceptiveness and skills differ on a spectrum.
Your daughter can ask for a second opinion and further diagnostic testing for your grandson if she feels uncomfortable about the findings. You could also read more about these diagnoses to determine if there are behaviors that you didn't realize were associated with the disorders. You'll also want to notice if your grandson's new meds are making a positive difference for him at home, school and on his visits to you. You and his mother will want to be sensitive to any side effects that could take place that should be reported to his physician. Your grandson is definitely not a diagnosis, and it's apparent that you will love him just as you always have.
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Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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