Energy Express by Marilynn Preston

I've been writing my weekly syndicated column for 33 years this month, and somehow I've overlooked tattoos. What do tattoos have to do with living a healthy lifestyle? I have no idea, but so many conscious, vibrant and well-balanced people in my yoga class have them, they must mean something.

Butterflies on the butt, Sanskrit OMs on the ankles, limb-loads of serpents, peace signs, lotus flowers. There is no end to the creativity, or the colors, or the speculation about their power and magic.

The most in-your-face tattoo I ever saw presented itself many years ago when I was a young reporter, covering the First International Convention for Tattoo Artists and Fans, in Dallas. I was wandering the aisles and spotted a young woman getting a pink rose burned into her bicep. Across her forehead, in gothic script, she had another tattoo: "Death Before Dishwashing." It must have been the '70s.

It turns out that 14 percent of the U.S. population now has a tattoo. This is nearly the number of people who know Hawaii is a state. Why so many? There are all kinds of theories about why people get tattoos, but bottom line, they are an ancient and traditional form of body art, decorations that demonstrate a person's style, independence, philosophy, feelings.

But what happens when those feelings change? Or you switch gangs? Or you marry someone else? Ahh, there's the rub. People on the path of a healthier, happier lifestyle know that everything changes. That's why I want to share these important tips about getting tattoos from a doctor who is an expert in removing them, Dr. Roy Geronemus, master of the laser and member of the American Society for Dermatologic Surgery (ASDS):

1. "Keep colors simple." Tattoos that are done in neon or unusually bright colors can require Black & Decker power tools to erase. Geronemus suggests you stick to just one or two basic colors.

2. "Think small." You may be filled with love for your girlfriend, or your mother, or your country, but you don't have to express it all the way up your arm. Think small. Tattoos today may spell regrets tomorrow, and the smaller and simpler the tattoo, the less painful it is to remove or disguise.

3.

"When possible, show your love another way." Most of Dr. G's tattoo removals involve the name of a girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse or partner. Everything changes, and when it does, you're left with a permanent reminder of someone you may want to forget. Or, later, explain. What to do? Show your love another way. Plant a tree, name your boat, donate money to a worthy cause. If you do succumb, at least get your tattoo in a spot that is easy to hide.

4. "Remember that you won't always be so buff." Dr. G. knows the truth about bodies. As they age, they soften and sag, so whatever you are imprinting on your tight little bum or bulging bicep will look a lot different as you expand.

(Back to that International Tattoo Convention. At the opening cocktail party, there was a big buzz about a certain woman who everyone was waiting to see. "Is Sally here?" "Have you seen Sally?" Finally, Sally arrived, and I came to see what all the excitement was about. When Sally was a young woman, her husband gifted her with a tiny spider-web tattoo etched around her bellybutton. Now Sally was in her late-'70s.

Well into the cocktail hour, Sally lifted her dress, pulled down her panty hose, and showed off her 50-year-old tattoo. The web had expanded to the size of a large dinner plate. Time had filled in the spaces between the lines. It was like looking into the Grand Canyon, where every few feet stands for another thousand years. I did forget Sally's real name, but I never forgot that tattoo.)

5. "Think about your future." Plastering your body with pretty pictures may seem like the thing to do when you're young and looking for magic, but what about when you're looking for a job, or meeting your boyfriend's parents? How can I put this? If you want a career, consider the rear.

ENERGY EXPRESS-O! DEEP THINKING ABOUT INKING

"The perfect tattoo ... the one I believe we are struggling toward ... is the one that turned a jackass into a zebra." — Cliff Raven, world-famous tattoo artist.

Marilynn Preston — fitness expert, personal trainer and speaker on healthy lifestyle issues — is the creator of Energy Express, the longest-running syndicated fitness column in the country. She has a website, http://marilynnpreston.com and welcomes reader questions, which can be sent to MyEnergyExpress@aol.com. To find out more about Preston and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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