Gift-Giving 101: Examine Your Heart, Lower Your Stress by Marilynn Preston on Creators.com

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Gift-Giving 101: Examine Your Heart, Lower Your Stress

The December holiday season can be fraught with stress. One area that grabs us all by the short hairs is gift-giving. Family and friends expect to be given gifts. We are expected to give them. How can we do it in a way that is filled with joy instead of tension? Bliss instead of unpaid bills? How can we escape being dragged down by unconscious consumerism and evolve to a higher form of gift-giving?

I wish I knew. But the questions have inspired this year's version of my annual Holiday Gift-Giving Guide. Other years, I have gone deeply into the merits of an elliptical cross trainer, why fruit baskets are a smarter choice than fruit cakes, and why I consider a 90-minute massage with a brilliant body worker to be the best holiday gift ever.

But this year is different. Money is tighter, and the madness around spending more of it on regrettable purchases seems more intense.

I know some of you have already decided about your gifts, and the candles are burning bright. Others are still counting the days, checking the ads, waiting for deeper discounts, hoping for inspiration.

All of us, moving forward, will be dealing with this subject over and over again. Gift-giving is not going away. Our economy thrives on it. The more we buy, the higher go retail sales, the stronger the stock prices and industrial indexes that reflect a growing economy.

Is it unpatriotic to call for a second look at the buying frenzy that surrounds the December holidays? Bah humbug. Debt brings despair. Nonprofits are just as worthy as for-profits. The sooner you find a strategy for gift-giving that suits your budget, your comfort level and your need to be generous, the healthier and happier your holiday will be.

WHO NEEDS MORE STUFF?

This is a basic question you must be brave enough to ask yourself this gift-giving year.

Does your loved one really need another set of salt and pepper shakers? Another pretty bracelet? Another scarfpursehatvideogamepairofgloves?

If your answer is a cheerful yes, you may move to the checkout counter with all the blessings of the yuletide season. But if you're beginning to have doubts, that's good, too. There is a growing movement in America toward less stuff, fewer products, a simpler life driven by acts of kindness, not consumerism.

If it speaks to you, join it.

Admission is free. Generosity is supposed to be a source of joy, not a cause for stress. If your holiday gift-giving leaves you feeling depleted and depressed, emotionally and financially, something is wrong.

I suggest you take some quiet time — human hibernation is called for this time of year — and listen for that inner voice. Are you deeply yearning to try something new, something different, something more satisfying?

SUPPORT A FAVORITE NONPROFIT

Is this the year you give a goat to an adorable boy named Henry who lives in El Morante, Peru? (www.Heifer.org) Or pay for after-school classes for girls who need to play sports, learn to eat smart and develop leadership skills? (www.Girlsinthegame.org) Or maybe you want to support a nonprofit that provides free websites to families who are in hellish health situations and need the healing support of their friends? (www.Caringbridge.org)

These are three nonprofits I adore, but there are countless others, waiting for your dollars this year.

The strategy is simple: donate whatever you comfortably can to a nonprofit you believe in, and let all the people on your gift list know you've done it in their honor.

It's a win-win-win situation. If you're afraid you'll disappoint someone — what? some girl in Ghana got hives filled with honeybees and I got nothing? — get over it.

We are hardwired to be kind and generous, and giving to others can be a great lift to all our spirits this season.

And so can other schemes for celebrating the holidays in a gift-free, guilt-free way:

— Gather friends and family for a holiday home talent show, including music and favorite poems.

— Meet up before the Big Meal, and take a walk in nature.

— Sit in a circle with your favorite glass of holiday cheer, and let everyone talk about the best holiday gift they ever got.

ENERGY EXPRESS-O! LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS

"I have taught myself joy over and over and over again." — Barbara Kingsolver

Marilynn Preston — fitness expert, personal trainer and speaker on healthy lifestyle issues — is the creator of Energy Express, the longest-running syndicated fitness column in the country. She has a website, http://marilynnpreston.com and welcomes reader questions, which can be sent to MyEnergyExpress@aol.com. To find out more about Preston and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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