RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2013 When Nellie came to our house last week, she kissed our baby on his hands and face. The baby then placed his hands in her mouth and then back into his own mouth. I felt extremely uncomfortable about this, especially since the baby is teething and …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2013 Dear Ann Landers: Please print this list of warning signals to help women determine if a mate or date is a potential (or actual) batterer. Be careful if your mate displays any of the following signs: 1. Jealousy of your time with co-workers, friends …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2013 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I divorced last summer. We have a 9-year-old son and a …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2013 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I am writing in response to the letter from the woman who thought she …Read more.more articles
RELEASE: SUNDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2013
Dear Ann Landers: My stepson, "Roy," was recently sentenced to 15 years in prison for selling drugs. He has been in and out of trouble for his entire life, and I cannot say one good word about him. The last time Roy was out of jail, he got a young girl pregnant, and she had a baby boy. When the federal agents raided their home, the baby was given to Roy's mother and stepfather to raise. That child is now 4 years old.
Here's the problem: Roy's mother has been taking the boy to see his father in prison. Now, Roy wants my husband to bring the child with him when he visits, and my husband has agreed.
I don't think it's appropriate for the boy to see his father locked up. Everybody whitewashes the situation and tries to make it seem like Roy is away at college. They tell the kid how nice the place is, how good the food is and how well the guards treat the prisoners. By the time the child is 10 years old, he will think jail is a pretty nice place to be. I am really bothered by this.
I cannot do anything about Roy's mother, but I am shocked that my husband is willing to take the boy on these trips. I am afraid this child will never have a chance in life unless he can distance himself from his jailbird father. It's not as if Roy has turned over a new leaf. The last time my husband went to see him, Roy threatened to kill his stepfather. I have no doubt that he would do it.
What do you say, Ann? Will these visits harm the boy? This is very troubling and is starting to cause a problem between my husband and me. Please advise. — Darkness in Delaware
Dear Delaware: How sad that the 4-year-old's first memory of his dad will be associated with prison. Now that the child has seen his father there, I see no point in stopping the jail-house visits, but do ask your husband to consider making his trips with the boy less frequent.
That child should be seen on a regular basis by a competent therapist. He must not be allowed to grow up thinking jail is a "normal" or "good" place to be.
Dear Ann Landers: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. Generally, we have a great relationship, except when it comes to his mother. She has started calling my house three or four times a night. (We do not live together.) Most of the time, she calls about nothing — she heard a funny story about a neighbor, she saw something good on TV and so on. Whenever I visit my parents, she calls me at least twice to find out if "everything is OK." She also calls our friends to find out if my boyfriend and I are getting along.
The phone calls aren't the only way she butts into our lives. She has questioned the amount of time we spend together and what my parents think about it. I tried planning a party for him, and she decided to take over the guest list, the menu and everything else. (I ended up canceling the whole thing.)
She has made it clear that her son is not to move out of town, no matter how good an offer he gets, because the family must "stay together." Although I am a college graduate and earn $50,000 a year, she thinks I should go back to school and get a doctorate.
Ann, I want a future with this man, but I don't want to end up with a mother-in-law who tries to run my life. Please advise. — Mothered Out in Iowa
Dear Iowa: You don't say one word about your boyfriend's attitude toward this mother-in-law from hell.
Will he support you in your fight to be free of this woman's interference? What's the record so far? Unless you are absolutely certain that he will always be on your side, I would advise you to think seriously about what your life would be like if you married this man.
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