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RELEASE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 17, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I am a 60-year-old man who doesn't have any interest in anything or anyone. I'm bored with everybody I meet. I am bored with my job and bored with my life. I grew up in an orphanage and am unable to show love because I never had …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 10, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I am getting married next year to a wonderful guy. His mother passed away when he was very young. My future father-in-law never remarried, but he has had a "significant other" for about 18 years — it just happens to be …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 3, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: I am a 20-year-old college student living with three other roommates the same age. One of our roommates, "Gloria," is causing a lot of problems for the rest of us. She is dating a married man. This isn't the first time she has been …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, JULY 27, 2014 Dear Ann Landers: My 32-year-old daughter is getting married for the second time. My daughter and I have a good relationship, but my ex-wife and I barely speak. She and my daughter made all the wedding preparations and paid for the whole thing …Read more.
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RELEASE: SUNDAY, AUGUST 24, 2014

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Dear Ann Landers: Here are my spouse's excuses for avoiding sex:

I'm tired.

I'm too nervous.

It's hot.

It's cold.

I'm too full.

I have a headache.

I have a stomachache.

The kids might hear.

I have to go to work.

My mind is on other things.

It's too early in the morning.

It's too late at night.

I'll bet you think this letter is from a husband complaining about his wife. You're wrong. It's from a wife complaining about her husband. He is 50 years old, and I am 40. We are both too young to be giving up sex. If you have any suggestions on how to improve this not-so-hot relationship, I'd like to hear them. — Failing in Fresno, Calif.

Dear Fresno: The best way to improve a "not-so-hot" relationship is to heat it up. Be subtle but persistent. It sounds as if your husband is unsure of his ability to perform sexually. He needs reassurance, praise and the knowledge that you really do care about him. Start talking.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have been married for 30 years. He is Italian, and I am Canadian. I speak only English. Whenever we are with my mother-in-law, she and my husband speak nothing but Italian.

My husband doesn't see anything wrong with this, even though I am left totally out of the conversation.

He says the language is part of his heritage and it makes his mother happy. I would be more understanding if my mother-in-law could not speak English, but she speaks it very well.

When our children were growing up, I never made an issue of it because I wanted the children to feel close to their grandparents, but now, it is bothering me to no end. I feel completely excluded and avoid being with just the two of them. I say they are terribly rude. What do you say? — Excluded and Offended

Dear Ex.: I think you should have learned to speak Italian a long time ago. Get some elementary Italian grammar books at the public library, and ask your husband to help you. Start practicing with him. I'll bet he will be pleased, and your mother-in-law will be astonished.

Forget to save some of your favorite Ann Landers columns? "Nuggets and Doozies" is the answer. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM


Comments

2 Comments | Post Comment
Ann Landers always gave the same advice to readers in LW2's position ("Learn the language!"), and it was always wrong. If LW had been married for 30 years, she was either over 50 or close to it. Humans learn new languages best when they're young. By middle age it's well-nigh impossible to learn another language well enough to follow a conversation between two native speakers.

If LW followed Ann's advice, I can predict what happened: the first time she said "buon giorno" to her MIL, MIL smiled tightly, said "buon giorno" in return, then resumed talking a mile a minute with her son in Italian, and LW was left out as usual. For sure MIL did not suddenly quake in fear that DIL had known Italian all along and knew exactly what her husband and MIL were saying about her.

MIL was at least in her seventies and not about to change. She was rude, but her son was ruder.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Kimiko
Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:03 AM
I so very much agree with kimoko. I am an Italian-Canadian and would NEVER converse with my parents this way, with non-Italians unable to join in. This is not about some Anglo-centred imperialistic ("we are in North America, you must speak English or get out") attitude. It's just rude. And forget this "it pleases her for us to speak in our native tongue" crap. They could converse amongst themselves in whatever tongue they'd like, when they are alone. But you do not gather with others and then converse in a way in which they can't join in.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Jpp
Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:54 AM
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