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RELEASE: SUNDAY, MAY 24, 2015 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: My boyfriend and I have a beautiful 9-month-old baby. We live together …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, MAY 17, 2015 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I am a 27-year-old woman currently living in a large house with three …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, MAY 10, 2015 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: Most of the world works by day and sleeps by night. But many people do …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, MAY 3, 2015 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I come from a large family. A few months ago, we lost our dad. During …Read more.
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RELEASE: SUNDAY, MAY 31, 2015

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Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: My situation is so cliched it is pathetic. I feel like an idiot. I am the wife who was the last to know. Friends and family members had been aware for years that my husband was seeing another woman. I found out last month, when his girlfriend confronted me.

My husband had a foul temper, and we fought a lot, but I decided to stay with him until our children were older. I felt a divorce would be very hard on them. When counseling didn't help, I made the best of it. He was not an easy person to live with, but I never suspected he was being unfaithful.

People should not assume that a spouse knows what is going on outside the home. I trusted him completely. I cannot blame those around me for not speaking up, yet something as simple as an anonymous note would have opened my eyes.

The comments made to me recently include: "I thought you would have left him long ago" and "You must have known. Everyone else did." Believe me; I would have thrown the man out if anyone had told me he was cheating. In the past month, I have had to get a lawyer, a therapist and HIV testing. I am angry and disappointed in those who knew but didn't tell me. Although the other woman who finally told me did it to get even with him for dumping her, I am grateful. — The Last To Know in New York

Dear New York: When people ask me, "Should I tell someone when I know he or she is being cheated on?" I always say, "No, because that person invariably knows and chooses not to do anything about it." I still believe that is good advice.

A cheating mate always leaves some clues, either wittingly or unwittingly.

I believe the clues were there, but deep down, you didn't want to see them.

Dear Ann Landers: I would like to address this to all the young women who, for whatever reason, think having a baby is "cool."

I am the 17-year-old mother of a 4-month-old daughter. I will be the first to tell you it is not easy. And if you think having a baby will improve the relationship between you and your boyfriend, you are wrong. It only will make matters worse. My boyfriend and I called it quits a couple of weeks ago, when the fighting became unbearable. After three years of being very close, it's over.

If I have changed just one teenager's mind about getting pregnant, the time it took to write this letter will have been well worth it. — Been There in Indiana

Dear Indiana: Thanks for the testimony. I hope my teenage readers will pay close attention to what you have written. You are a far better authority on this subject than I am. And P.S. Don't give up without trying counseling with your boyfriend. You have a child now who needs two parents.

Feeling pressured to have sex? How well-informed are you? Write for Ann Landers' booklet "Sex and the Teenager." Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.ANN LANDERS (R)COPYRIGHT 2015 CREATORS.COM


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3 Comments | Post Comment
LW2: Either it was as Ann said -- the clues were there and just weren't seen -- or the LW's ex-husband was very clever and knew exactly how to cover his tracks. I say the latter.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Bobaloo
Sun May 31, 2015 7:06 PM
I want to say if there are no more ann lander columns hurrah! This column should be over. You just called the wife a liar and that her spouse couldn't of been that cleaver. but my issue with dear ann is... I had my biological dad write and tell me he didn't feel fatherly toward me, and we were through. i had met him for the first time 5yrs ealier. we had talked on the phone every month and exchanged gifts etc for 5 yrs. then i found out today, he stopped the relationship because ann landers said it was ok. since he had no fatherly feelings for me and he wasn't part of my growing up, he had no reason to try or continue trying. he could just drop me. How dare someone tell a parent that skipped town when i was born, find out through dna that i was his, and was in a relationship with me for 5yrs that it was ok to stop all together. He was a dead beat dad in his 20s and ann landers says why try to be different in your 70s. its ok to be a deadbeat dad. Ann landers has no qualifications to give advice especially advice of such a delicate nature. He is now missing out on his grand-kids, great-grand kids ect.... all because ann landers said its ok to be a jerk. Good by good riddance to ann landers columns.
Comment: #2
Posted by: april turner
Mon Jun 1, 2015 10:36 AM
I want to say if there are no more ann lander columns hurrah! I had my biological dad write and tell me he didn't feel fatherly toward me, and we were through. i had met him for the first time 5yrs ealier. we had talked on the phone every month and exchanged gifts etc for 5 yrs. then i found out to day, he stopped the relationship because ann landers said it was ok. since he had no fatherly feelings for me and he wasn't part of my growing up, he had no reason to try or continue trying. he could just drop me. How dare someone tell a parent that skipped town when i was born, find out through dna that i was his, and was in a relationship with me for 5yrs that it was ok to stop all together. He was a dead beat dad in his 20s and ann landers says why try to be different in your 70s. its ok to be a deadbeat dad. Ann landers has no qualifications to give advice especially advice of such a delicate nature. He is now missing out on his grand-kids, great-grand kids ect.... all because ann landers said its ok to be a jerk. Good by good riddance to ann landers columns. As for the wife must of known, you are basically saying she lying and must of known or been stupid, but some men are very cleaver and the wife is the last to know.
Comment: #3
Posted by: april turner
Mon Jun 1, 2015 10:38 AM
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